I came across this on my computer this morning. It brings back lots of memories.
From: Gabi Clayton
Date: Sun, 8 Sep 1996
To: pflag-talk
Subject: Lurk No More
Well, I joined the list at the end of August, and I guess it is about time to say hello and introduce myself and “lurk” no more.
My name is Gabi Clayton. My husband Alec and I are members of the Olympia, Washington PFLAG.
I have many gay, lesbian and bi friends – our closest friend and housemate is lesbian, but she is not the reason I joined PFLAG. My oldest son, Noel, is 20, straight and starting his junior year in college. My youngest son, Bill, would be 18 and starting college…
This is hard. I talk about this a lot, but not through email to people I cannot see and probably will never meet face to face. Bill was bisexual and committed suicide a little over a year ago after being assaulted in a hate crime. You know, even now after almost a year I have this reaction to saying he committed suicide – that it seems so unreal – that it doesn’t make any sense. I don’t think it ever will completely.
It isn’t a simple story, and I think it is too much to tell in a first letter. I just wanted to jump in since I have been reading the posts for a while. I appreciate PFLAG so much, and I am doing a lot on the internet, so this feels like a good place for me. I have several web pages up, which can be reached through my home page at: [was on tripod.com then, now at] https://gabiclayton.com/bills-story/
Enough for now. I’d better send this before I decide to lurk forever.
Gabi Clayton
NOTES:
PFLAG-Talk was a public email mailing list (listserv) that served as an online forum for parents and allies of LGBT people. It was a key resource for families seeking support, information and community during the very early rise of the digital era.
PFLAG-Talk was independent of the organiztion PFLAG, not run by the organization, although the people running it and many who used it were involved in the organization.
PFLAG, the organization, (originallly created in 1982 as the Federation of Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) added “bisexual” to its mission in 1993, the same year it added “Families” to its name. It added gender identity including transgender people to its mission until 1998 (making it one of the first national non-trans-specific organizations to officially do so.) https://pflag.org/our-history/
Alec and I have been members of PFLAG and PFLAG-Olympia since 1995.