Gabi Clayton's Guestbook #42 - From 2/3/03 to 3/7/03
Note: This guestbook reads from the bottom of the page up. -- Gabi


Friday 03/07/2003 5:27:54pm
Name: anonymous
E-Mail:  
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location:
Comments: i just wanted to quickly say thank you for posting this site and giving me encouragement today. This week, I started the process of coming out to my fiance - this decision has been so much more difficult than I could've imagined. He is devastated, we have both been suicidal and I don't know if I'm making the right decision. But, I do know that after reading your site, I am encouraged and can keep plodding on. Thank you and bless you and your family!

Thursday 03/06/2003 7:21:46pm
Name: Amanda V
E-Mail: amanda168605@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location:
Comments: Hey, Im doing a school project on teen suicide, and i found this. I didnt realize how real it is. I mean i never really thought about it. Im very sorry for your loss, and I just wanted to let you know that this story touched me. Thank you for sharing it with me. Amanda

Thursday 03/06/2003 4:02:41pm
Name: Caitlin
E-Mail: happylittlevegie@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location: Sydney Australia
Comments: Your story touched my heart on so many levels. As a figure skater I have throughout my life known many homnesexual coaches who have given me a deeper understanding into a different lifestyle and alienation that I could never understand. My coach when talking about his sexuality has always said to me" I can't belive people think I have chosen to be ostrasised, beaten up, alienated, and never be able to raise a normal family" and those words will always stay with me for the rest of my life. I have also had my best friends brother commit suicide, he was not homosexual but he was very much seen as most of his peers as different. He just always seemed a little on the outer, although the few that really knew him, know what a wonderful person he was. His suicide really got to me, as I could not belive what a soul had been wasted, all because I am sure he felt he never had or could fit in.

We must never be scared of what is different but embrace it for all it's beauty no matter what size, shape etc it comes in.

My thoughts are with you and your family, I wish you all the best, and he was very lucky to have such a wonderful supportive family

Thursday 03/06/2003 2:58:43pm
Name: nick
E-Mail: nikop63@aol.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location: Chicago
Comments: I really don't know why I ended up reading this sad true story but I did. Being 39 y/o and now openly gay,but not to my p's, I can remember and relate to high school years and passage. I guess I thought hate crimes where of the past, but it still out there.... and the issue related to his s.i. attempt ,I feel sorry that your family went through this tragedy...I wish our world was free of hate crimesto homesexuals, elderly,race,ethinicity,etc.-But lets look forward and learn not to hate...
people in this world,,,,,

with sympathy to your family
np

Wednesday 03/05/2003 9:59:10am
Name: Nick
E-Mail: nickdu5@excite.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location: Orlando, FL
Comments: Gabi,
I first saw Bill's story on Mogenic.com, and at the bottom of the page was a link to your site. I can't say I know your pain, but I have lost an uncle and my best friend to suicide. I am gay and I have many gay and lesbian friends, luckily none of them have thoughts of suicide, as I don't know what I would do if I lost even one of them. I'm sorry you had to go through the loss of one of your own.

We can only hope and pray that one day all this hate will come to an end. I believe it will be coming in the next few generations though, since there is such an amount of tolerance and acceptance within this generation.

Tuesday 03/04/2003 5:38:46pm
Name: Britt
E-Mail: KRDRASCAL@aol.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location: Connecticut
Comments: My name is Britt. I am 14 and living in COnnecticut. Though I am not gay, I do NOT discriminate against them. I am sorry for what happened to your son. I think you have been very brave and I am proud of your accomplishments at reducing prejudice.

Monday 03/03/2003 6:58:31pm
Name: Jordan Bell
E-Mail: renegadeclone@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location: Glens Falls, NY
Comments: Maybe someday this world will be a much safer and accepting place for people of all sexual orientations. I hope for the sake of the wonderful children, adolescents, and adults out there that the day I speak of is not far off. No more people need to die.

Monday 03/03/2003 4:35:49pm
Name: megan
E-Mail:  
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location: ohio
Comments: i have many friends who are gay and lesbians, and an uncle whom i love dearly that is HIV positive. your story touched my heart

Monday 03/03/2003 3:35:41pm
Name: Jamie P.
E-Mail: xavaier@hotpop.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location: Hawaii, USA
Comments: Being a gay man myself, I can completely relate to what Bill's story spoke of. Having serious bouts of depression myself because of my homosexuality / lack of acceptance, I can relate to Bill in so many ways, I will not even dare list them all here or you would be reading forever. However, I do want to send out my thoughts, my prayers, and my hopes that this will touch others' lives as it has touched my heart in reading it to make a difference. I hope you get this post and know that you are thought extremely well of, and supported by people from all over the world. Your son though this is a very unfortunate situation opened a door in many people's hearts. To see what it is to be hated. To see how hate affects people. To see the severity and result of hate crimes. It is a tragedy your son had to go through this but it is also a blessing that people were enlightened from the trauma.
Blessed Be.

Sunday 03/02/2003 4:25:20am
Name: LUCE CAGGINI
E-Mail: luce.caggini@tiscali.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location:
Comments: JE PARTAGE AVEC VOUS CE LIEN DE SOUFFRANCE QAUND UN FILS PART.
MY PART of SUFFERINGS WITH YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR SON , BECAUSE OF MY SON. RICKER'S FRIEND

Sunday 03/02/2003 1:45:13am
Name: Dave O'Brien
E-Mail: Davesgrr@aol.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location: United Kingdom
Comments: What can i say! My heart goes out to you, and that you have touched my heart ... I felt for Bill, reading this story about Bill and hope can be shared in the world to stop this ever happening to overs... All my Love i send to you Dave XXX

Saturday 03/01/2003 8:00:47am
Name: Chris Collins
E-Mail: caccj@ntlworld.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location: Byfleet/ Surrey. UK
Comments: Great website. My heart goes out to you and a personal email is on its way.

Love

Chris

Friday 02/28/2003 12:07:13am
Name: Tammy Bowen
E-Mail: Clay'sgirl@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location:
Comments:

Friday 02/28/2003 9:49:27am
Name: brandy
E-Mail: brandy171717@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location:
Comments: the story really moved me i am doing a termpaper on hate crimes and what they do to peoples lives. i found your story and i would love to use it in my paper if you dont mind. if you dont mind you could email me at my address above. thanks alot brandy

Thursday 02/27/2003 3:58:44pm
Name: sarah walk
E-Mail: cuddles78@webtv.net
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location: sunbury pa
Comments: I AM SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR SON BILL WHAT A TERRIABLE WASTE. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU DURNING YOUR TIME OF GRIEF AND AGONY.

Wednesday 02/26/2003 2:12:13am
Name: Jason
E-Mail: grandprix19007@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Comments: I am kinda new to the whole gay world and am realizing how much hate is really out there. A little while ago I read about Matthew Sheppard, I couldn't believe that this actually happened, I cried for hours. The fact is that no one is safe, I'm not a really butch guy nor am I a really feminine guy, but I hear the little snickers when I'm walking thru the mall or down the street, "look at that faggot", it really hurts. I try to just forget about it, but for some reason at the end of the day, it's still there. Thank god for good friends that make life worth living and stories about people coming together to fight against the hatred, it means so much.

Jason

Tuesday 02/25/2003 6:33:55pm
Name: rony
E-Mail: ronychina@yahoo.com.cn
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location: china
Comments: i am a chinese in china, your story touched me so deeply,i can not belive such a good-looking boy end his life for the should-be dead cruel animal boys, i cannot stop imaginnig the lovely smiling Bill relive in my vision,i hate your country allow this hatred things happen. in china, if you are gay or weird, people only laugh at you and dont like you, they will never bash them. also i express my respection to the great mum and dad of Bill, who are so acceptive, on the controvery, chinese parents can not think their son is gay, the cruel is on this side. we should fight together.

Tuesday 02/25/2003 3:52:10am
Name: emily de leeuw
E-Mail: sweetness_babe@msn.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location: colac victoria australia
Comments: this story really helped me. my friend committed suicide and i feel like its my fault i didn't ahev the tine to talk to him and he needed me. i copuldn't believe it when he commmitted. i dont weant to let go of the memory of him i love him but this helped my to realise that we can love someobne and not forget them. thank you. thank you more than you can ever imagine

Monday 02/24/2003 11:09:24am
Name: Miasha Hatten
E-Mail:  
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Comments: Hello, I was on the internet searching for topics on hate groups/crimes and I came across your story about your son. I am so sad to hear and to know that people do such horrible things to innocent people. Thanks for sharing his story. When I read the story I knew then that my paper was going to be done on the story of Bill ( if you do not mind). I wish the best for you and your family, and may good things endure you.
SINCERELY,
Miasha Hatten



Friday 02/21/2003 8:58:03pm
Name: Crystal
E-Mail: the_one_u_b_Dreamin_about16@Hotmail.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL: http://ryan.thoughtlocker.net/crystal/
Location: Iowa
Comments: He was beautuful. your story touched me in a way that no other has done before..it had me in tears. I feel like i knew him...May the Lord Bless you Now and Forever more

Friday 02/21/2003 7:50:03pm
Name: CJ Washington
E-Mail: tauntasmells@aol.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location:
Comments: Thank you for sharing the story of your beautiful and brave son, Bill. My heart is sad for you. I pray that he has found a place where he can lay down his burdens, and if there is Peace to be found in your sharing his story that you have found it.

Friday 02/21/2003 11:50:32am
Name: Wayne Madison
E-Mail: fingertyps@aol.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location: Washington, DC
Comments: Dear Gabi - I was not familiar w/you & your family until yesterday, when I finished reading Dan Woog's "Friends & Family." While there are many stirring & memorable profiles in his book, none hit me like quite the hammer as yours, & I found it fitting that he saved yours for last. My heart is filled with mixed emotions over what you, Bill, Alec, and all of your loved ones have been through; while there is undeniably sadness and pain, there is also much room for nachas, a Jewish word I feel confident you're familiar with. I know you feel tremendous pride from Bill's ongoing ability to overcome the pain in his life until he could no longer cope, just as I know he felt it from you as well. I'm jealous--I wish I'd had parents with the wisdom, compassion and unconditional love Bill was blessed to be raised with. I hope and pray the remainder of your lives are filled with more joy and understanding than pain and sorrow.

Just curious--what's the latest on those idiots who assaulted Bill & Sam? Did the "sexual orientation community service" make a difference in their lives?

Best wishes always,
Wayne Madison

Friday 02/21/2003 11:27:27am
Name: Al
E-Mail:  
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location: edinburgh
Comments: Nobody chooses what he is or does.
Bill's death was not suicide.
He was murdered by society.

And I do not say this to offer sympathy, but because I can feel what Bill felt, and have his fears and doubts and regrets. I am gay. I have not chosen it.

Friday 02/21/2003 10:21:19am
Name: Ann Wiltse
E-Mail: awiltse1@juno.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location: Seattle, Washington
Comments: I was in your session at Des Moines UMC last Sunday. The session and you are both incredible witnesses to Truth. I thank our Creator for your voice and your Presents (sic). I will share your message and your web site with many others that I know will be greatly empowered by it.

Peace and Grace to you,
Ann

Friday 02/21/2003 8:59:44am
Name: Koriene stevens
E-Mail: mochamint00@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location: greenfield ,Ma
Comments: dear gabi
I am a lesbain living in Mass.IA m sorry for what u are goign though we fighting so hard but yet we have long way to go. we have groups out there good ones. I am 21 year old when i was in high school I dint have anybody to talk to NO groups its was hard for me to come out but I did and lost my dad.
sincerlly kori

Friday 02/21/2003 8:43:20am
Name: Marie-Eve Soucy
E-Mail:  
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location:
Comments: Bravo d'avoir le courage de partager la vie d'un fils avec nous.

Wednesday 02/19/2003 8:25:20am
Name: Marti Bartlett
E-Mail: mbartlett@peoplepc.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location: Bellingham, Washington
Comments: Dear Gabi and family,

Thank you for sharing your story and your love for Bill, your family and friends and the world. The work you do shines love so powerfully and compassionately that I know you and Bill and hope and love. The truth will set us free.

with love,
Marti Bartlett

Tuesday 02/18/2003 12:29:04am
Name: Charles Davis
E-Mail: bikechuck@triad.rr.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location: Winston-Salem, NC
Comments: Thank you for putting this page together. I know what your son felt at times. I am gay and eventhough I have been fortunate enought not to have been assaulted, I feel the oppinions of those that choose not to like us. It is so nice to know that there are others out there who care. Again, thank you.

Saturday 02/15/2003 10:03:28pm
Name: xcx
E-Mail: casaglietti@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location:
Comments: I am so sorry. Reading this page I am reminded of the hardest time in my life. High School. For a homosexual, to make it out of this period in your life is to beat attrition. It happens, some sadly never make it to other side. Thank you so much for posting this, and I hope Bill's story makes it out and to others, so they too can see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Saturday 02/15/2003 1:33:19am
Name:
E-Mail: Mrbline5784@aol.com
Homepage: In My Humble Opinion
Homepage URL: http://www.freewebs.com/mrbline/index.htm
Location: Illinois
Comments: I am so sorry for your loss. . . am equally as touched by your page. What Bill faced in a society riddled with homophobic prejudices and fears is wrong, unnecessary, and hopefully someday will end. May God Bless, you, your family and your son.

Friday 02/14/2003 12:10:58am
Name: angel nakita
E-Mail: angelnakita@whatagod.zzn.com
Homepage: Simply Enchanting Angels
Homepage URL: http://seangels.org/
Location: oregon
Comments: Hello, my heart goes out to you with your loss. I found your website interesting and can tell you the time to put it together. I would like to invite you to visit our website and see what we are all about!
May god bless you always !
Angel Nakita

Thursday 02/13/2003 8:53:18am
Name: Kristen
E-Mail: snl69laalaa@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location: VT
Comments: As a gay female, I have found little in the way of hurt. I have little to nothing in terms of losing friends and being hurt. Everyone I know respects me and my life. My parents had some trouble, but since I have found a wonder woman whom I'm in love with, they have been quite supportive and love her like their own daughter. To all those who are scared of being themselves, don't be. Be who you are intended to be. There is nothing wrong with you and your life or who you love. If anyone ever needs anything, don't hesistate to email me.

Wednesday 02/12/2003 7:51:44am
Name: Xxx
E-Mail: zaan1000@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location: Switzerland
Comments: Bill en choisissant le suicide, tu voulais t'enfuir, lire ton histoire ne me donne pas confiance en les dures epreuves de la vie (Que je dois affronter maitenant...)

Tuesday 02/11/2003 3:33:08pm
Location: Ann Arbor, MI/Ridgewood, NJ
Comments: Dear Mrs. Clayton,
I am a closeted homosexual at college. Luckily, I have the support of my mother and sisters and some select friends. I am not nearly out as I would like to be. All my life, I have delt with homophobia. You're webpage has encouraged me to stand up for myself, and end the verbal deroggatory words I hear that are said in my dormhall. For the past year, these narrowminded people have pushed me farther in the closet to the point where i have started saying derrogatory terms just to prove that im straight. Tonight is different. I'm going to stop it. Thank you, and I want you to know that even though your son's life is ended, he's still fighting this battle.

Monday 02/10/2003 11:13:37am
Name: Rachael O'Neil
E-Mail: raybaby780@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location: Wisconsin
Comments: I am writing an English paper on hate crimes and i wanted to thank you for sharing your sons story. thanks again.

Monday 02/10/2003 11:04:49am
Name: not yet
E-Mail: yoga4usnow@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location:
Comments: I just got done reading the story of your son. I sat here in the college and career center of my high school and cried. I was overwhelmed by a number of emotions. Fear of coming out and experiencing the same fate. Anger that I live in a society where it's not ok to be me. Sympathy for a mother's broken heart. And sadness that this had to happen at all. But there is another force working in me. I am finding that even though I am not ready to come out I am ready to fight. I want to start something bug so that i can make sure this type of thing doesn't happen again. Every day i hear derrogatory stamtements based on sexual orientaion. My freshamn year a boy committed suicide after he was outed. Every year there are boys in the school who are brutally beat up because they are out. And both the boys and the girls are harrassed day in and day out. What kind of society do we live in where the teachers allow people to say faggot in class. Where anyone allows that word or any other word. You have woken something in me. You are giving me hope for a brighter tomorrow and strength in knowing that there are people out there that wiil support me. thank you. From the bottom of my heart thank you.

Monday 02/10/2003 0:27:17am
Name: Vaughn
E-Mail:  
Homepage: The Road Less Traveled
Homepage URL: http://theroadlesstraveled.tripod.com
Location: Eastern WA state
Comments: Gabi, this website is wonderful and I'm glad I followed the link here.

And btw, I too am against this war. May peaceful and cool heads prevail before we find ourselves and the world on the brink of total destruction.

Sunday 02/09/2003 4:37:33pm
Name: Krista
E-Mail:  
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location: Texas
Comments: I am a sophmore at creekview highschool in carrollton texas, and i am involved in a organization called peer mediation (which is peers making peace). for a class project we were told to write a paper on a hate crime, and i chose the topic of bisexual and homosexual hate crimes. Bills story touched me in many of ways, and i am truly sorry for your loss and i want to leave you with a poem.
people are people
so why should it be
you and i should get along so awfully
so we're different colours
and we're different creeds
and different people have different needs
its obvious you hate me
though i've done nothing worng
i've never even met you so what could i have done
i cant understand
what makes a man
hate another man
help me understand
-----my prays are with you-

Friday 02/07/2003 2:56:11pm
Name: Tyrone Tidwell
E-Mail: Keanureeves37@hotmail.com
Homepage: www.livejournal.com/users/majikman37
Homepage URL: http://www.livejournal.com/users/majikman37
Location: Studying Abroad
Comments: I just wanted to send you my regards. I know that time has passed but these types of crimes continue from day to day. I was just looking around on the web and found your website. I too am a bisexual young man. I have not had any physical confrontations due to my orientation but many verbal of course. It is really hard at times but with support things always seem easier. I have done talks through out my undergrad years and have tried to make an impression.I know that it has helped change the minds of some. As long as I meet new people i will try to educate them in some way, through information or just through my interactions with me. I just hope to open eyes and minds. In time i think that we as a openminded caring compassionate human race can overcome hate and ignorance in the world. I just wanted to give you my support and send you all the best wishes. Take care!
Sincerly,
Tyrone Tidwell

Friday 02/07/2003 12:24:44am
Name: Keith Robotham
E-Mail: dormann@dataphone.se
Homepage: The Sweden Experience
Homepage URL: http://lo.2ya.com
Location: Sweden
Comments: It is a little over 5 years since I last wrote in your guestbook. Bless you for your continued work in helping others struggle with life's problems with your amazing energy and infinite lovingness.
In the sadness we feel on reading Bill's story we often are motivated towards our own sense of loss:that we never met him. had no chance to know him, etc. Yet, it occurs to me now that
his loss was even greater than I had first realised - for to be robbed of the continuing experiencing of you and your family's lovingness seems to me to be an even greater cruelty, were it not for the spiritual dimension that guarantees the continuance of love even beyond mortality.

I have heard it said that in every aspect of existing a blessing is to be found if we only look hard enough. In my angered sadness at Bill's cruel fate
I see the blessings of lovingness that continually pour forth from you, his family.

What a tribute to Bill's life - and your dedication and love - it is to read a slightly earlier guestbook entry from a gay 15 year old who has found help and comfort here on this website.

Blessings of lovingness transcend even death, huh?

Friday 02/07/2003 2:17:31am
Name: pierre
E-Mail: pierre.gui4
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location:
Comments: Bonjour,
je suis français et je ne parle pas anglais , mais j'ai été très touché par votre réçit , je suis père de famille aussi et je me sens impliqué

Tuesday 02/04/2003 4:01:03pm
Name: tiffany bentley
E-Mail: tiffygal_01@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location: lorain, ohio
Comments: This story really touched me. I wish i could have known Bill. Im very sorry for your lose.

Tuesday 02/04/2003 3:52:53pm
Name: Miguel
E-Mail: beanniebaby69@msn.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location: Fullerton College Psych. Department/CA
Comments: I have a report due for school for my Human Sexuality class and this struct me. I cannot begin to imagine how difficult this continues to be for you. However, how gratifying to be able to help other young gay and lesbians through what you tell of your son. I myself am gay and feel the hurt that this would cause to my mother and therefore may cause you. God Bless you always and always, your son will be inmortal. Thank you.

Monday 02/03/2003 9:56:45pm
Name: matt
E-Mail:  
Homepage:
Homepage URL:  
Location:
Comments: Thank you! this site has helped me i am 15 and gay the only two people who know are my mom who loves me very much and very supportive which helps and my best friend jessie and she loves having a gay friend

Monday 02/03/2003 7:00:45pm
Name: Gabi Clayton
E-Mail:  
Homepage: Index of responses to Bill's Story
Homepage URL: http://www.youth-guard.org/gabi/respondex.html
Location: Olympia, WA
Comments: This new guestbook was started on 2/3/03. Links to pages with all the past responses to Bill's story are on the page link above. Thank you so much for signing my guestbook.
Love, Gabi

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