Gabi Clayton's Guestbook #31 - From 2/10/01 to 5/24/01
Note: This guestbook reads from the bottom of the page up. -- Gabi



  Thursday 05/24/2001 12:19:05am
Name: Lana
E-Mail: Shalanda6@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:
Location: Houston Texas
Comments: Id like to say first, that Ive never signed a guest book on any site before. I never know what to say.
I'll start with something about me first I guess... Im 21, female, live in Houston Texas and straight. The way I found your site was doing a Yahoo! search on "suicide" about 20 minutes ago. To tell you the truth, I was searching for 'methods', trying to decide on the easiest and least painful way out of my mess. Yours was the first link I clicked on, I dont remember why or what the caption said. But anyway, after reading Bills Story Ive cried my ass off so much that Ive changed my mind on the whole thing. I realized that "If im crying this much over some beautiful child I didnt even know....how will my family and friends feel if *I* do this?" I know thats a selfish way to think...but at least Im still alive and able to think. In the time it took me to read Bills Story, I could have already stopped my own heart from beating with all the Xanax, Valium and other sedative and hypnotic drugs Im on. (Which are all new to me...I recently just "aquired" a severe anxiety problem...never even took aspirin before these prescriptions...im so scared)
Thank you for writing Bills story. Im so sorry about it all. And Thank you for saving my life.

Lana

  Wednesday 05/23/2001 9:10:21am
Name: kayla gg
E-Mail: ghettofabulos@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:
Location: RI
Comments: this was such a rude thing but he should of not been gay.



  Sunday 05/20/2001 10:18:32am
Name: Amy
E-Mail: unigueg@aol.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:
Location: New Jersey
Comments: While browsing through the internet i came across the story of you're son. I never met him but i feel, just from that incredible story, that i've known him. I am a 21 year old female and have seen many discriminating acts towards many individuals because of their sexuality or race or simply because they are different. It disturbs me greatly to see that and it hurts me to read that story about your lovely son, Bill. But i am glad you wrote it and even more so that i read it. It certainly opened my eyes up to what really happens out there in the "real world". Like Bill's history teacher said, he will never be forgotten. I know i'm going to share you're story with all my friends and family, hoping it will open their minds up to what really happens out there. I am truly sorry for your loss but i believe that things happen for a reason. Maybe your son's death will help another bisexual,or even a person who is bias towards them. Or maybe it will just open people up and instill something in us all, something that will stop all this hatred. I know it's unfair because Bill sounded like a terrific person. Someone who i would have enjoyed being friends with i'm sure. But he also sounded like he wanted something to be done. And hopefully this can be a start. Once again i am truly sorry for you're loss. But am grateful for you're story. Thank you
-Amy
New Jersey



  Saturday 05/19/2001 11:11:47pm
Name: Jessie Dou
E-Mail: She_Wolf_16@hotmail.com or She_Wolf16@HotMail...One or the other i dont remember
Homepage:
Homepage URL:
Location:
Comments: Dear sir, my name is Jessie i am a hispanic wiccian bisexlual female who was wondering...when is the best way time to come out to your parents...i mean most of my friends already know but i am still to scared to tell them anything about me and right now i was
told by my docter that i am a clinic depresint and that i need to see a sycyitrist(sorry about the spelling) i realy need some advise if you can write back to me then i will be etrnilly grateful


Jessie Duo



  Friday 05/18/2001 10:59:12am
Name: Christopher Young
E-Mail: hotlover_99us@yahoo.com
Homepage: na
Homepage URL:
Location: na
Comments: I REALY LOVE THIS WEB PAGE AND I TO AM READY TO COME OUT OF THE CLOSIT BUT IM AFRAID IF YOU COULD SEND ME WAYS TO COME OUT

CHRIS



  Thursday 05/17/2001 2:02:54pm
Name: Aimee Sudbeck
E-Mail: sudbeck@biperf.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:
Location:
Comments: Wow! Your story really touched me! You are wonderful family to stand so strong and proud for your son. I am part of a group that we started at our workplace in Nov. '00 and we hope to give support to ALL in the GLBT community. I am sure your son is watching down on you and even though his life may have changed...his story is helping others. That support is what we need for our community.

  Wednesday 05/16/2001 2:04:23pm
Name: Jessica
E-Mail: ChumbaWumba2005@msn.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:
Location:
Comments: I think what happened was a very terrible thing. I am bi but not openly
I am very sorry for your loss



  Wednesday 05/16/2001 6:34:12am
Name: Julie & Andrea
E-Mail: julie_rocha@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:
Location: Taipei, Taiwan
Comments: Dear Gabi,
We agree completely with you that the best legacy that you can leave your son is to work towards stopping the hate. Thank-you for being the kind of parents who will work towards those goals for all of us.
Love,
Julie & Andrea



  Sunday 05/13/2001 3:20:33pm
Name: Melissa
E-Mail: RockPrincess@msn.com
Homepage: Do I HAVE TO TYPE it out?I'm lazy!
Homepage URL: http://www.geocities.com/rockstar3120/psychospage.html
Location: Michigan
Comments: I loved this site. I felt like suicide once- this is Soooooooooooo sad!



  Sunday 05/13/2001 10:09:30am
Name: Chris Ferguson
E-Mail: chris@aitiad.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:
Location: Cambridge, MA
Comments: You have created a powerful and moving tribute to your son. I am sorry that I will not ever have the chance to know him myself. I accept your charge. I will join you.



  Wednesday 05/09/2001 11:16:02pm
Name: Matthew J Wilson
E-Mail: mattwi74@hotmail.com
Homepage: Matthew's Anti-Hate Page
Homepage URL: http://mattwi74.tripod.com
Location: Pueblo Coloardo....
Comments: Gabi,
I have been here many times, and it never fails to bring tears to my eyes. I can't describe in words how profoundly sorry I am that this happened. I obviously did not know Bill, but I can say that I miss him. I hope all is well in your life these days, and I am sure that Billy is watching over you even now.

Thank you for putting the time and effort into letting us know what a wonderful person your son is, and also thank you for being such a wonderful person yourself....

Love,
Matthew J Wilson
STOP THE HATE

  Wednesday 05/09/2001 6:57:14am
Name: jennifer Blackwell
E-Mail: sassylips19@aol.com
Homepage: sassylips19love@aol.com
Homepage URL:
Location:
Comments: i feel that if you ever need something just email me.



  Saturday 04/28/2001 7:25:39pm
Name: John McKenzie
E-Mail: branchdude@webtv.net
Homepage:
Homepage URL:
Location: Kentucky, USA
Comments:
My dear, dear Gaby,

Today I looked at your website for the second time. The tears flowed once again as I was reminded of the tragedy that befell your loving family.

I am so proud of you I just don't have the words to describe how I feel. Your page speaks volumes of a mother's true and undying love. As difficult as it is to pour through the pages of your site, it is a compliment to mothers the world over.

Your Bill will live on through you and your loving words. I feel blessed to be privileged to share this planet with you.

Love,
John



  Tuesday 04/24/2001 5:10:03pm
Name: Nicole
E-Mail: Dinogrly232@aol.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:
Location:
Comments: i am a 15 yr old girl im a heterosexual but i was doing a researh paper on teen suicide for my english class and i stumbled on to bill's story. it was late so i could only read half of it but i went to bed thinking about his story and all day during school was waiting to finish the story. my mother told me once it doesnt matter if you are with or love a boy or a girl just as long as they treat you well and you are happy and i believe that is true. i have told many friends about bill's story. i think we need more people like bill and you and the rest of your family. i see people in my school like bill and after reading your story i have made the step and talked with them and now knowing what great people they are i am thank ful for stumbling on to yours and bills story it is has made a great impact on my life and i hope its the same way for my friends who i have asked to read it! good luck to you and your family! it's amazing what one person can do! i dont know how to make a big difference but i will try by showing kids in my school that different isnt bad and they are people too...i am practically speechless after reading such a story of such an amazing guy... your lucky to HAVE him as your son...
with love from nicole...



  Tuesday 04/24/2001 3:51:52pm
Name: Mories Beljaars
E-Mail: mories@chello.nl
Homepage: GayBoySupport
Homepage URL: http://GayBoySupport.com
Location: Amsterdam, The Netherlands
Comments: In despite of the best ingredients for growing up, young people can still be very vulnerable as a person, especially when it comes to being bi-sexual or gay. Your site is one of the things that can make more and more people realise that a terrible loss of a child is not only nearer by than you might think, but also the end of a long period of hidden misery. As an experience-expert, I therefore chose to be even more direct and talk strength into these teens on my website. I hope we can all make this world a more and more civilized place to live in.
My best regards, Mories



  Wednesday 04/18/2001 5:29:05pm
Name: William Robert Thomas
E-Mail: archdruid22@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:
Location: Massillon, Ohio
Comments: I just wished to say that as a young male, I am trained to be desensitive to violence and gay, race, and other jokes and comments. I just wish to say that if it means anything, I am going to stand up against such "jokes" as I am starting to realize how damaging and encouraging to violence they really are. Thank you for putting this web page up and allowing me to realize this. This is one step to being a man that far to many guys out there don't realize....tolerance.

  Tuesday 04/03/2001 5:18:42pm
Name: nick
E-Mail: neelletson@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:
Location: England
Comments: It is not often I respond to sites on the internet and I am not sure how I found this one. I feel it is a great shame that some one of your sons courage had to endure so much and yet seemedly gain so little that he felt he had nothing worth living for. I am 25 and have often felt like this however have never had your sons courage to be myself. It is only thanks to a very dear friend by the name of claire that I am learning to deal with life and begining to be honest to my self and others. It is such a shame that todays society can treat another human in this manner simply because they do not fit the norm. Thank you for taking the time to bring your sons story to the world, and hopefully one day we will ALL stand united for a better way of life. Until this time comes I wish you every luck with your future and rest assured that people like bill will never be forgoten.



  Friday 03/30/2001 2:53:58pm
Name: Scott and Chuck
E-Mail: azguyshere@hotmail.com
Homepage: Two Men in Love
Homepage URL: http://members.nbci.com/azguyshere/
Location: Tucson, Arizona
Comments: Just wanted to say you have a beautiful homepage. What a wonderful, mother, father and family. Thank You for sharing the story. I truly think it will help people to understand. I am involved in PFLAG and am trying to get into the schools to help teens that are struggling with their sexuality. I too was very suicidal at an early age. I felf as if I were alone in this world. Thank God for families like yours that have the love, courage, and open hearts to be their for your children.



  Wednesday 03/28/2001 11:29:39pm
Name: Christie
E-Mail:
Homepage:
Homepage URL:
Location: Ohio
Comments: What a brave individual to come out and reveal his sexual identity at such a young age. None of my gay/lesbian friends came out in high school, and that was only ten years ago. Gaby, I am sorry for your loss. Bill seemed to be loved and respected by all that knew him. Sometimes we are given precious gifts like Bill for only a short while to teach all of us an invaluable lesson. All life is precious. Coming out takes courage. Hate is cowardness. His perpetrater had no spine to stand up to the others. I read a mother's story about her daughter coming out. She stated, "The more I read about GLBT, the more tolerant I had become." This story is an incredible way to break down barriers and create an atmosphere of tolerance. Bill would be proud that his life was not in vain. Sidenote: Did anyone notice the man who signed the guestbook and called Bill's condition a mental defect? What year is he living in?



  Sunday 03/25/2001 10:40:49pm
Name: Grateful
E-Mail:
Homepage:
Homepage URL:
Location: USA
Comments: Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am a 21-yr-old gay male who recently came out, and I have been blessed with supportive parents and wonderful friends. Despite the great people in my life, I have suffered from depression and suicidal thoughts for far too long. Reading your son's story gives me a strong sense of courage to endure. I have never had the misfortune of experiencing hate or discrimination. I will continue to work through my personal issues, and I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you for your advocacy in honor of your son. His story is a stark reminder of the fragility of life and how we all must take full advantage of our time here on earth, not succumbing to forces of hate and negativity.

God bless you and your family, and my heart mourns for your loss. Thank you once again for your vigorous efforts.



  Sunday 03/18/2001 8:45:33am
Name: Nathan Noland
E-Mail: nate_the_great@usa.net
Homepage: An Odd Little Spot In Cyberspace...
Homepage URL: http://www.nathannoland.com
Location: South Florida
Comments: Your pages are beautiful and haunting. I do hope that anyone in your lost son's position reading through your site will realize that life is so worth living, especially if they have supportive parents like you both seem to be.

  Monday 03/12/2001 2:54:17pm
Name: Stokely
E-Mail: TommiG23@aol.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:
Location: MA
Comments: As I was reading Bill's Story, I have to admit that I cried a couple times. I am so sorry about what happened to Bill, no one deserves to have this happen to them. I know what it's like to lose someone you love, and I know what it's like to be so depressed and suicidal. I was really depressed last year, but no one gave up on me. I think I turned out o.k. I am truly sorry.



  Saturday 03/10/2001 11:33:51am
Name: heather lade
E-Mail: hllade@pacbell.net
Homepage:
Homepage URL:
Location:
Comments: Thank you for sharing your story...Bill's story. It is an inspirational piece of activism. I hope that our GBLTQ community and our straight friends use your words as a catalyst for action...to speak up and protect those of us who are OUT.

Bill you are honored. You are loved.

Sincerely,
Heather
(lesbian and mother of a young son whose own sexual orientation has yet to be defined)



  Thursday 03/08/2001 7:57:13am
Name: Wharfboy
E-Mail: wharfboy@thebignewcompany.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:
Location:
Comments: Bills story moved me too this afternoon. Infact the whole office stopped to read and discuss your words. I found it linked from the web site of a UK Gay Social group. I thought you would like to know that following the posting, many more thousands of people have been touched here in the United Kingdom today.



  Tuesday 03/06/2001 5:07:46pm
Name: Rocky Risner
E-Mail: rock_a_bye_baby02@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:
Location:
Comments: After reading the story about bill i was filled with sadness. I'm only 16 and i think that this was a wast on bills life, he should have never died, he was a fine looking boy and this was very tragic. im sorry, i wish there was a way i could help



  Sunday 03/04/2001 0:24:09am
Name: John Kornegay
E-Mail: krnfusion@home.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:
Location: Chicago, IL
Comments: Reading 'Bill's Story" and seeing his pictures fills me with a terrible sadness that his life came to such an untimely end. But, your website is a fitting tribute to a young man who's story will have an unforgettable impact on anyone who reads it. I'm sure your son is very proud of all that you have done in his memory; his legacy will help to whittle away at the forces of intolerance and hatred. Peace to you and your family.
-John K
  Friday 03/02/2001 5:16:49pm
Name: Matt
E-Mail:
Homepage:
Homepage URL:
Location: England, UK
Comments: I dont know what to say, i am terribly sorry for your loss, reading the account about your son and his life,its incredibly sad and tragic.
May your sons spirit live on.I'm sure he is in a better place now, at peace, with no hatred..



  Thursday 03/01/2001 3:44:40pm
Name: Matt
E-Mail: xamo@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:
Location: UK
Comments: I am sorry for your loss, the world in which we live provides us with challenges that we really should never have to deal with. The small minded people of this world will never get to realise what true love is or can be, be it between two people of the same sex, or of the other sex. Heartfelt words such as yours, and the efforts that you and your son made can only help in the fight we have to deal with every day to get people not to single minorities out for persecution. It is so nice to see a parent taking such a stand. One of the hardest things to have to handle being gay, is to tell your parents about you.. you never know what to expect.. and I am certain, that your acceptance that how he was, is by no means abnormal was a huge huge help for him.. I pass my love across the pond to you, not even being able to comprehend the hurt you feel.. but please know that I feel for you and your family.



  Thursday 03/01/2001 8:28:51am
Name: Athena Two Spirit
E-Mail:
Homepage:
Homepage URL:
Location:
Comments: I am so sorry for your loss. I am a pagan and bisexual. There was a suicide in my family also, so I know how much pain there is for those left behind. When I read this story, many memories of my teenage years came flooding back. I am now almost 50, and I still cry when I remember those days of darkness and isolation.
Athena Two Spirit
**Just keep passing the open windows**



  Sunday 02/25/2001 8:53:53am
Name: Bran
E-Mail: DollBait@aol.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:
Location: Indianapolis,Indiana
Comments: Thank you so much for sharing a part of your life with me and others who have read and will read your web page.I will pass this pass this tradgegy along to others. I have now beome a straight allie and culteral war.Today is the day that I will begin walking the walk.. Anything that I can do to help,I will be there. Thank you



  Saturday 02/24/2001 11:34:28am
Name: Ami'
E-Mail: TheNextBritneySpears13@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:
Location: New Hampshire
Comments: I would just like to thank you for sharing this story with me. I came along this page when I was looking up "Hate Crimes" for my American Goverment class. After reading his story it has touched me. It made me think about what kind of world I am leaveing it, that people would do something like this. I have decided to write my paper of the Hate Crimes Against Gay's, Lesbians and Bisexauls. I am going to use you story as part of it. In hope one day we can stop this. Thank You again!
P.S. If you would to read my paper, please send me an e-mail at my e-mail address, and I will kindly e-mail it back to you.

  Friday 02/23/2001 5:24:55pm
Name: Kathy
E-Mail: Pearlgrey@2ndaccount.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:
Location: Massachusetts
Comments: For you as parents and for your caring and troubled son and for his memory...
It is a tragedy when children are taught to hate and fear differences. Your son did what he could to change this, and I am truly sorry that his inner energy was used up in this fight instead of growing up and finding his way as an adult. I am truly sorry for your loss and for OUR loss as human beings. If I might be of help please contact me via this e-mail. The best to you and your family in the times to come. With sadness, Kathy



  Wednesday 02/21/2001 5:30:59pm
Name: James
E-Mail: Darth-James@ilovestarwars.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:
Location: United Kingdom
Comments: This is a story that certianly brings a tear to you eye. I am sorry to lern of your sons tragic death and offer my condolences. I am 16 years old and although i am not gay or Bi-sexual there ar epeople who decide for me who i was and ruined my school life. i am constantly called "queer" "gay" "fag" etc and although i know i am not, i can say and feel i know what people who are gay or bi-sexual are going through. I have been called most of my school life like this and have never been able to be in a relationship because of it. I for one are not homopobic and respect the individualty and diversity of others. Most people know that the bibile says that people who are homosexual are bad but we all know that in certian areas the bible contradicts its self and i belive that this is one of those times. I would like to have a career in polotics althoug people call them lairs and scoundrles i would like to use it not just as a stage to get young people to use their vote but also to teach them that people who are diffrent are not and should not be social outcasts and to teach them also that a persons individualty is what makes everybody in this world uneuiqe. It is time tha racial discrimination or discrimination of any type is stamped out forever and as we are entring a new millenium, with new ideas,new values and new hopes its also time to teach our next genaration thats its ok to be diffrent no matter how big or small. and i qoute "What make you different makes you beuitiful to me." Mrs Clayton i was glad as i am sure lots of other people around the world are that you decided to share your sons story and exeperineces. You and your family and friends have started the ball rolling on the way to stamp out discrimination now it is up to activits and poloticions on my genaration to take the flame with you as our allies and then after us it will be time to pass it on to the next genration a genaration that will hopefully go on into the new millenium with hope and light and a genaration that will love thy neighbour for what he is and not hate them for what they are not.

James
United Kingdom.

P.S Congratulations on this site and memorial your efforts are not and we will make sure are not in vain, we will with time reach the ultimate goal.



  Tuesday 02/20/2001 11:20:13am
Name: Bill
E-Mail: billsook88@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:
Location: Toronto, Canada
Comments: It is always sad to hear of the distruction of a young life. If psychiatry was free to treat such disorders as they once were without political interference more of these lives could be spared. To deny deviant sexual practices are a problem only compounds the problem, treatment is needed for this mental illness. Other forms of mental illness are also treatable. Getting the help as soon as possible is the answer. Maybe others can learn from this tragedy.



  Thursday 02/15/2001 4:22:13pm
Name: ericka
E-Mail: ericka_search@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Homepage URL:
Location: florida
Comments: i have never been more moved and heart broken after reading a story as i did when i read you sons my heart goes out to you and your family



  Wednesday 02/14/2001 3:29:14pm
Name: Horace C. Kirkman
E-Mail: Cecilki@hotmail.com
Homepage: None
Homepage URL:
Location: Yorktown, VA.
Comments: It is now 2001, and years have past since your son died...but his story still lives to inspire people everywhere,thanks to you and your website. I am an elderly man (68), and I have a son who is gay. He is now 37 years old and is happily married to a wonderful man. They have been together now for almost 15 years.

I can certainly relate to many of your struggles. My son also came out to me when he was young, and like you, I did everything possible to be
supportative of him. Despite my support, Jim's years in school, especially in high school were miserable. He was so happy to finish and get away, because of the hatred and discrimination shown to him. He had no supportive teachers and I was compelled to talk with teachers and the principal on many occasions concerning their lack of support for Jim. We kept Jim in therapy for years.

Jim had other gay friends whose parents were no accepting of their sons.
One of them in paticular threw their high school son out of the house. He
stayed with us for a while...then disappeared. We don't know what happened to him. And his parents don't care.

Our son Jim, was assaulted and beaten just because he was gay. The police
never found out who did it. I'm not so sure they even tried.

Although we have made strong efforts (and are still trying) Virginia has
refused to pass a hates crimes law that includes sexual orientation. For
here in Virginia, there is so much hatred toward homosexuals and it stems
mostly from the fundamentalist christians here in this area, led by Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson. These men preach love and forgiveness...and
declare they love for gays.....but saying that and them condeming them to
hell, teaches a different lesson to their followers. I have rambled on for too long. But I did want you to know that the story of Bill was an
inspiration to both me and my son. Thanks to you, Gabi, the story of your
son lives on today and gives strength and courage to many young gay men to survive. It is sites like this, that gave to my son the strength
to survive. Thank you.

 

DHTML Menu by Milonic

  Saturday 02/10/2001 3:48:10pm
Name: Gabi Clayton
E-Mail:
Homepage: the index page & more about Bill
Homepage URL:
Location: Olympia, WA
Comments: This new guestbook was started on 2/10/01. Links to pages with past responses to Bill's story are on the page link above. Thank you so much for signing my guestbook. Love, Gabi