Gabi Clayton's Guestbook #28 - From 7/10/00 to 9/9/00
Note: This guestbook reads from the bottom of the page up. -- Gabi

Name: Karen Fields
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Dallas Texas
Time: 2000-09-09 20:06:17
Comments: In the year 2000, we as human beings still don't know the meaning of "Love thy neighbor". I learned it as a child of color and I pass on the thought as much as I can. One day, I hope it sinks in to the rest of the world! Peace, Hope, and Love abide.

Name: Jenny
Referred by: From a Friend
Time: 2000-09-09 19:12:15
Comments: Your story has deeply touched me, as a mother and as a woman. The courage and the dedication you have shown is astounding. Hang in there, you and your family have many thoughts and prayers from people you'll never meet.

Name: Ashleigh Rose
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Texas
Time: 2000-09-09 13:53:24
Comments: I was devasted when I heard your story. I just wanted to express my sincerest apologies, and to say that you have my respect for your crusade in this, and I know you'll be victorious.

Name: Joshua Negrini
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Altus, OK.
Time: 2000-09-09 01:16:27
Comments: I would just like to say how moving this site was! I am 17 years old and am an open homosexual. I used to live with my mom and remember how hard it was everyday to feel rejected from her because of it. I then moved in with my dad and he is the most loving supportive guy in the world. He has helped me build so much strength to face my mom and my new (more conservative) community. He helps teach me the most important part to life is me. And that he loves me. Just like I see you love your son. It makes me feel so great that other parents are helping the fight! I hope many more can lend a hand just like you caring people. I hope to one day aid the fight for equality as much as I can!!

Name: OJ Duncan
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Southern Illinois
Time: 2000-09-08 20:30:53
Comments: This story touched me so much. I am crying right now from it. It kills me so much inside to know that things like this are happening. I have worked with many organizations and as you know your fight is not alone. My deepest condolances to you and your family.

Name: Alisty Joy Keneth
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Huntington, New York
Time: 2000-09-08 11:01:09
Comments: I work for an organization called BiasHELP of Long Island, and I came across your story surfing under "Hate Crimes". Experiences like yours is what prompts me to do what I do everyday...diversity and sensitivity training. I just would like to extend my dearest condolences and would like to inform you that their are people out there who fight against hate, to prevent what happened to you, from happening to anyone else. Yours truly in the fight for justice for ALL people, Alisty Joy Keneth Outreach Associate BiasHELP of Long Island P.O. Box 1581 Huntington, NY 11743

Name: Laura B.
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Indiana
Time: 2000-09-08 10:51:21
Comments: I don't know that I'll ever be able to describe what this story has made me feel. I would just like to thank you. I am bisexual as well, and thanks to the efforts of people like you I have never had to suffer such vicious attacks and hopefully never will. Your efforts are really paying off. You and people like you are changing the world. I hope that you can see that. I know I have.

Name: Tamara Lawrence
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Houston,Texas
Time: 2000-09-08 10:04:54
Comments: This was a very sad story. Im not against bisexuals or anyone else for that matter. I belive it was wrong of those people to do what they did to Bill. The world Im sorry to say is a terrible place most of the time. I lost a friend to Sucide 2 years ago. It was very hard on all of us. Bill seem to be a wonderful person and its wrong that people in the world to day have to push a person so far that that is there only way out.

Name: Pamela
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Va
Time: 2000-09-06 09:06:02
Comments: One of my Very best friend's is a lesbian and the torment that she has gone threw is so horrible all because she was born with the wrong outward genitalia of what fit's who she is inside of her brain and heart . I do feel that people whom are truly gay , lesbian are indeed born that way . I am a True beleiver in Christ and all though it may say in the bible that it is wrong to have intercourse with someone of the same sex . I DO NOT feel that people take into context what it acually means , to me it is saying for pleasure only kind of disregarding the fact that their are some whom are born with this and not just choosing it for only simple immediate gratification . I would also like to say that our GOD is not a condeming GOD and he understands far more than people seem to want to realize and that he accepts us ALL even those who dont understand the true reson behind a gay or lesbian preson . But that is just it , it seems so sad that another human could treat one of their own with such vilent hate and disregard . it really saddens me every day to see people so hurt full for ANY reason . I hope that Bill's family is doing well and learning to cope w/ this horendous lose . You are inmy prayer's ! :) As is all of the person's out there who have not yet found how to be a loving human being ! Good luck in all that you do , i am happy to see that you are indulging in such a spirited way to keep Bill's memory alive ! I have two Growing Boy's and i am raising them to be kind and loving to ALL inividuals whom they meet in their paths along life's Journey ! :) With Love , Pamela

Name: helen
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: england
Time: 2000-09-05 13:20:13
Comments: i am sorry to hear about yours sons story and the way he died. i hope his memory lives on like im sure it always will and that you continue the campainge for thoughts are with u as bill seemed like a very nice young man

Name: Dana Hubbard
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Indianapolis
Time: 2000-09-04 22:53:07
Comments: Justice is a condition of the human heart, and cannot be imposed by mere law. My heart is with those who suffer such injustice.

Name: Mark Friedman
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: England
Time: 2000-09-04 12:56:31
Comments: Very moving. You are exactly the right people to do what you're doing. I wish you every success in what is a mammoth struggle in a world where racism is now becoming increasingly unacceptable but homophobia isn't to anything like the same extent.

Name: Alan Riley
Referred by: AngelFire
From: Ballymena, Co, Antrim, Northern Ireland
Time: 2000-09-04 12:18:11
Comments: Bill's Story touched me and although I to am Mixed up, I find that all of a sudden...I'm here now, and I'm I will just be me. Alan Riley

Name: anonymus
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Indianapolis, IN
Time: 2000-09-04 07:31:41
Comments: I can't imagine what it was like for Bill, your family, and your community. I struggle with even identifying myself for your guestbook let alone identifying myself as a supporter of Bill, your family and against hate and intolerance. We have a long way to go but thanks for starting somewhere.

Name: Gary
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Canada
Time: 2000-09-03 19:16:26
Comments: I dropped by again today to remember Bill and to support your work Mrs. C.

Name: Scott L. Johnson
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: los angeles
Time: 2000-09-02 20:46:38
Comments: what an incredible gift this site is that was made possible by such a tragic loss. thank you.

Name: Adam
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Armidale, Australia
Time: 2000-08-29 23:46:59
Comments: It is pleasing to see parent's devotion to their son and equally as pleasing to see the great amoung of support that people have given in the guest book on this site. It is through all of these caring people that will ensure that awareness will be raised and people will eventually come to understand and accept gay, bisexual... people. Gabi you should be proud of the emotion and spirit you have created. I commend you. ad

Name: Matthew
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Dallas, Texas, USA
Time: 2000-08-29 21:06:32
Comments: Reading Bill's story brought back so many memories of my own teenage years. The tears of that time came flooding back as I related to this beautiful young man's struggle for acceptance, and his ultimate choice to stop fighting. I, too, came closer to this same decision than I would like to admit. I'm now glad I didn't, and can only hope that his story will help others to persevere and emerge victorious. To Bill's parents - Thank God for people like you. Keep up the wonderful work.

Name: kandi
Website: The Guitar Zone
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: England
Time: 2000-08-28 14:02:14
Comments: hi, after reading through the content of this site, i feel deeply touched and compelled to write something here. im not sure what to write, just thanx for sharing the story with me, and all the other people that visit this site. with my 15 years of life, which i know is not much, i have experienced alot of predjudiced views. i choose to be different. alot of people at my school cant handle anything different from the way they percieve 'normal', and therefore hate it. one thing i have learned is not to judge. i accept peoples views and opinions, and i deeply respect anybody who chooses to be different from others. open minded is a good way to be.i believe that people should accept others, no matter how different.
thankyou again for sharing Bill's story.

Name: ansonia
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: GA
Time: 2000-08-28 06:35:17
Comments: I am so very sorry for the pain that you and your son had to go through! It concerns me that in this country that sexual orientation preludes the "real Person". I too am bisexual and also walking "toward the edge" - As your son said " I did not chose such - It was given"! I as your son struggle each and every day with hopes of seeing a brighter future but the pain is so intense that it is diffcult to see the light. Thank you for this web page and your son is not forgotten but a light to others to continue on.

Name: Ted
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: San Francisco, California
Time: 2000-08-26 21:22:56
Comments: I came across Bill's inadvertently story as a link from a Matthew Shepard memorial page. Let me explain why it was important for me to make this entry. I'm now 54-years-old and have lived with the same fear that Bill had to face and at many times in my life felt suicidal so many times in my youth that I know that if I could have got enough pills, or a gun, I would not be here either but my higher power felt it necessary to keep me away from them during those times. I remember hiding in lies when another was attacked as a child and that was even harder to live with. He wasn't hurt very bad or killed from that attack but we both died a little during that event both from fear. I will never feel the fear I felt by denying who I am. But thru the years I got very hardened and acquired a real drug and drinking problem. Not just from being gay, but rather from my self-loathing for my inaction over many issues. My undying respect goes out to Bill, and others like him not as much for the tragedy which, believe me, I do understand, but for the courage to come out to their friends and classmates and give other young gay men and lesbian woman hope. I wish I had such roll models in my youth. Even more I wish I had such courage, even now. People think of San Francisco, as this gay Mecca and it isn't and never was. Gay people have clout here because they represent a large amount of the votes, and have acquired enough money to be taken seriously. I have many stories about gay life in San Francisco's past that people find hard to believe. I only believe them myself because I was there during most of it. Hate has to be pushed a lot further to be out of our lives. I am a Christian, and find myself ashamed of the people within the Christian, and other religions and I also had to find comfort in knowing that God loves us all without having to conform to a narrow view that a lot of self proclaimed religious leaders seem to promote. There is the problem; they don't like Gay People therefore God, doesnít like it ether. You can't teach anyone who knows everything, anything. I was raised in a broken family that had some things going for it; 1) There was love (sometimes misguided, but there) 2) My sister (who is straight) and myself were raised to be open-minded (even though our folks were often shocked at our actions and conclusions because of it). Some people both religious, political and many others promote this Holy War against what they think is wrong. That's what is wrong. War is not a holy thing but as far away from any concept of any of right as one can get. The battle was and is wrong even if the army is just one person. I'm not trying to convince anyone that I'm right or wrong, I just am. I feel that the gay community has a lot of work to do as well. We should really support the gay youth of today and stop trying to get them in bed. They're are very few predators among us but we need to let them know that it's hard just being young and learning about who we are without having to worry about others motives. Let's leave a good example follow and offer help when needed instead of trying to help ourselves. We all know how hard a childhood, and young adulthood can be. If we work to make this small world a straight and gay friendlier place, as well as color blind, we will all find hate a thing of the past. Thank you Bill, for your work in this endeavor. With Love and Respect Always, Ted

Name: Robin
Referred by: AOL
From: New York City
Time: 2000-08-24 08:07:20
Comments: My friend is doing an essay on the Hate Crimes Bill that is currently in Congress and in trying to assist her in finding more information, I came upon this site. I read the story and by the middle, had tears in my eyes. It's truly tragic, and shows how hateful this entire country can be at times, that a 17 year old boy should feel that ending his life is a solution to the ills of this world. I commend you for your courage and strength in telling this story. Suicide in and of itself is a horrible thing to cope with. My best friend committed suicide over 6 years ago due to drug abuse and a feeling of non-acceptance among his friends and family. He was heterosexual, but the feeling was the same - he didn't feel safe, didn't feel accepted and didn't feel a need to continue. His legacy has left a mark on all of our lives, as will Bill's. Telling his story is helping to empower other youths like Bill, letting them know that we still love them, accept them and are there for them. My prayers are with you. God Bless.

Name: Michael McKenzie
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Salt Lake City (Homophobia Headquarters.)
Time: 2000-08-22 23:46:08
Comments: Thank you for sharing the agony of your ordeal. Eventually this kind of thing will be gone. Too bad your son had to pay such an outrageous price...his very life! I send condolances, and a huge hug!

Name: Megan de la Rosa
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia
Time: 2000-08-21 16:05:12
Comments: WOW that is a very touching story and I cant be more dissipointed at the things that are going on in this world. I dont like it when I have to go to P.E. and change in the girls locker rooms and have people bicker about how they should ban lesbians from changing with stright people in the same room. It hurts me to see people grow and shape into an ignorant society.

Name: Kevin
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: PA
Time: 2000-08-20 13:34:59
Comments: I am so sorry for your loss. I wanted to say that if your story helps one person understand that gay bashings are truely wrong then it is worth its weight in gold. God bless you...and again I am truely sorry. With Love, Kevin

Name: Anna B
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Ohio
Time: 2000-08-18 13:09:11
Comments: I am a mother of three boys. There is nothing fiercer than the love of a mother for her children. I am currently working on a home page representing all that our family stands for. I found a link to Stop the Hate. I found your page from there. I was planning on adding the link anyway, but now I know I am doing as a mother of a son for a mother of a son. I don't pretend to know all that your son must have had to deal with concerning his sexual orientation. I won't pretend to understand how difficult it must have been for all of you to "swim against the mainstream". I don't believe we have choices in this area, as your son said I think we just are. I am sorry for all of your pain and anguish. I hope your site changes the mind of many people. We are all put upon this earth for a reason. I am sorry your son was only alloted 17 years to stake out his claim. I thank you for picking up his torch and running with it. I wish you peace, anna (Ps I do not have the web page anywhere close to completed so please forgive me for not listing the URL on here)

Name: Peter Benoit
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Michigan
Time: 2000-08-18 01:25:51
Comments: I am deeply sorry for your loss and pain, and I am truley humbled by the tale of Bills' life. The warm and generous spirit that was Bills' you are keeping alive. I truley believe that his story is keeping kids from following the same path. "But by the grace of God; there go I." . With warm thoughts for all of his loved ones, and a lot of tears. My heart goes out to you. Pete

Name: Zack S.
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Wilmington, NC
Time: 2000-08-17 21:32:11
Comments: What a truly moving story. I am glad that I stumbled upon this page, for it has truly changed me. Not in a way that I could ever hope to put into words, but I now look at a different room than the one I walked into. Thank you for telling the world. May your ending hold as much happiness as it can. Zack S.

Name: Micki
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Pa
Time: 2000-08-16 12:11:45
Comments: Thank you for sharing your love and pain.

Name: Maggy
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Ontario Canada
Time: 2000-08-14 18:36:20
Comments: A wonderful tribute to a very special person. God Bless you All

Name: eric williams
Website: Gay Is OK!
Referred by: From a Friend
From: phoenix
Time: 2000-08-11 10:59:57
Comments: You have a great page and a heart-rending story. I am happy to give you a link on Gay Is OK! To my mind Bill was murdered as sure as if they stuck a knife in his heart.

Name: Hugh
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Delaware
Time: 2000-08-10 21:42:37
Comments: As I sat here and read your story, my eyes filled with tears several times. Although I felt for Bill, which no-one should ever have to go through that much pain in such a young life. But my eyes filled with tears mostly for you. For you are the ones that have to live with the pieces, left for you to pick up and put back in place. My heart goes out to you, and every parent, brother, sister, grandparent, relative and friend who is left behind wondering what else you could have done. One thing that stands out the most in your story, and one that I know can help so many here in my (gay)community, is one thing that Bill wrote, I believe it was something like: "I didn't choose this. It wasn't forced upon me. It just is." If that isn't a battlecry for the gay community, I don't know what is. My sincerest condolences. Hugh

Name: A.J. Morton
Referred by: Clicked on a 'Guestbooks by GuestWorld' Button
From: Texas
Time: 2000-08-09 21:13:56
Comments: Bill's story was extremely touching - a special issue close to my heart. As a gay teen with a boyfriend of over one year - the struggles that Bill had to experience should not be necessary in this day and age. My heart goes out for you and your family. Bill was obviously a very special person - keep up the good work.

Name: Jason
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Florence, MS
Time: 2000-08-09 09:36:37
Comments: I would just like to say that I myself have been a victom of hate because I'm gay and I would like to thank you for making the stand that you have. I know how hard it is have somthing like that happen to you and the worse part is not the accual event itself but when it's time to say somthing about it. I, myself, could never do that. I could never make myself say anything because I lived in a small town in Misissippi and it is just not accepted here. So I must aploude you for your courage and for the pain that it had to take to put this page together. THANK YOU

Name: douglas
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: stpaul, minnesota
Time: 2000-08-08 21:10:25
Comments: i think this was a great site and thank u guys for sharing you personal thoughts with all of us!!!!!

Name: Laurie Arthur
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Clayton, Ca
Time: 2000-08-08 21:07:43
Comments: I was feeling despondent and was looking at suicide and your page popped up. ironically i am gay also and your son's story caught my attention. i am much older but my life's complications are definitely related to the gay intolerance issue and the basic difference between us and "normal people" at any rate, my mind shifted off of my own pathetic problems and to the pain your son felt. my condolences to you and him for the suffering of a beautiful young soul.

Name: Werner
Referred by: Yahoo!
Time: 2000-08-08 19:04:43
Comments: Missing You It's surprising how often I think of you, turn to speak to you, and realse you're not there as I expect you to be. I guess I hold you so close in thought that it's hard to understand sometimes that you aren't close in person. But I wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and wishing we could talk and just be together awhile- missing you.

Name: Gabi Sudewo
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Indonesia
Time: 2000-08-07 04:19:00
Comments: At first, I was just playing with a search engine, trying to find sites with my name, Gabi, on it. One of the sites on the list that came up was your site. I read it, and I was so touched by the story. In Indonesia, gay people are considered a disgusting "breed" of people, and gay rights are still very hard to be brought up,since Indonesia is still an overly fanatical country. Anyway, it's such a shame that your wonderful son commited suicide because of that stupid hate crime. I'm 17 myself, and I know how it feels to be "17", with all that pressure from your society. It must be especially hard on your son, since not only is he 17, he's a bisexual in a "cookie cutter world" where being different from everybody else is considered a sin. I can't imagine what it was like for your son. I hope that with this page you made for him, other people would "open" their eyes and see that being gay is not a sin, just another way of living. Best regards, Gabi

Name: Tom
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: England
Time: 2000-08-06 16:15:23
Comments: I don't really know what i want to write, the story really touched me mainly becuase it was all so familiar. I am 16 and also consider myself to be bisexual, although i hate labels. I want to express my sypathy to Bill's family and i hope we can all learn from the story. Tom

Name: Fin
Website: Gay Yorkshire
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Skipton, Yorkshire, England
Time: 2000-08-05 15:42:31
Comments: I know its quiet a while on, and i never knew bill but i am so sorry about everything that happened. You must be some parents to say he gave up his life to stop other from hurting you and every 1 else, I'm 17 now and fortunatley havent had many problems, the only think i want to say thanks for sharing this story with me, its definatley touched me, i just wish every1 could have lived happily ever after. Love Fin

Name: Gerwin
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: California
Time: 2000-08-04 23:12:48
Comments: Like me, I suffer the same fate finding a peaceful place in this very cruel world. Indeed, I do understand how your son feels and I'm so sorry to hear of his demise. Your site is a good reminder or I might consider it a wake up call for society to accept and respect peoples sexual preference. More power

Name: Andre
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Belo Horizonte - Brazil
Time: 2000-08-04 13:44:04
Comments: Gabi, people have attacked your son with hate, but you have decided to show a message of love to the world. I live in Brazil and hate crimes are quite common here. I hope that one day this will end. Thank you for being so strong and brave.

Name: aida
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: orlando, florida
Time: 2000-08-03 22:32:59
Comments: I read the story and felt very saddened by what happened to your son. I have four sons myself and will always respect their choices in life. Your son was a wonderful young man with a wonderful family.

Referred by: Just Surfed On In
Time: 2000-08-03 16:59:47

Name: "_-_"
Referred by: Yahoo!
Time: 2000-08-02 20:55:20
Comments: PLUR-PEACE,LOVE,UNITY,RESPECT. love and understanding can heal all wounds.

Name: Tony
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Florida
Time: 2000-08-02 20:28:43
Comments: My prayers are with you and your family. Someday the world will be better prepared to understand that no two people are the same. Peace to all of you.

Name: Matthew Rayner
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Sydney
Time: 2000-08-01 06:47:37
Comments: Hugs to you and your family for being so brave and having such strength and for being so supportive of your son when he needed you. I felt like crying after reading the story of your son, he seems to have been a wonderful and special person and its such a tragedy that this happened. Extra big hugs.

Name: William Claar
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: USA
Time: 2000-07-28 23:03:08
Comments: Gabi, I was appalled at the pain and suffering your son had to deal with on a daily basis. No person should ever have to be subjected to this type of treatment. Although I do not neccessarily agree with the Homosexual/Bisexual lifestyle I in no way will ever condone the physical and mental mistreatment that these innocent sons, daughters, fathers and mothers have to live in fear with on a daily basis.

Name: Frank Brooks
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: New Jersey
Time: 2000-07-28 21:05:40
Comments: This was a great story to read and I only wish it could come true and Hate Crimes be stopped. Silence is to only hide it, you and your family are strong, caring and loving people, Bill would of wanted it this way. I never knew him but from your story it sounds like he was a great kid and you have all the right to be proud of him and the way you loved him no matter what. Thank you for sharing your story with us and I now too will think of your son.

Name: Manuel Gomez
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Chicago, IL.
Time: 2000-07-27 10:15:54
Comments: Sad to say biggotry all over the world still exists. Hopefully we all could unite to end this fascist outlook. Lamentably I face similar assults because I'm a hispanic. But I still keep my head high proud to be who I am, as we all should. Remember UNITY is the key to end Discrimination of any sort. Thank you for sharing Bill's Story R.I.P

Name: Chris Bailey
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Christchurch, New Zealand
Time: 2000-07-26 14:51:00
Comments: Thanks for sharing your story with us. I have been inspired by this to redouble my efforts to make my counrty a safe place for us all. I shan't forget either. Chris

Name: Nic
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: New Zealand
Time: 2000-07-26 04:40:31
Comments: Thank you for sharing your story. As a twenty year old gay man I have found it very hard to come out of the closet. I have never cried before after reading any "sob" story, but I guess I am able to make an exception. Live in peace. Because I just am. Nick

Name: Ian Kenji Fayman
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Hollywood, FL
Time: 2000-07-25 20:02:28
Comments: I am so sorry for your family loss, and for the harm caused to Bill by stupid, uncaring people. I am glad that you are focusing your energy on educating rather than allowing yourselves to fester in a pool of resentment and hate. My hat's off to you! Best always, Ian Kenji Fayman

Name: Jason & Dean Durr-Coons
Referred by: AOL
From: Leesburg, Florida
Time: 2000-07-25 16:47:34
Comments: I am sorry to hear of your lose. It is sad to believe that we live in such a sick place, where your sexual preference is more important then being a drug dealer or a killer. It makes you wonderful if the world will ever be a safe place for "everyone" to live. My partner and I have a daughter. And I know that my fears for her are so great. I wonder what kind of life she will have, living in such a cruel place....

Name: Scott H.
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Vancouver,BC,Canada
Time: 2000-07-25 10:47:26
Comments: Wow, if my parents were still alive, I would go and give them both a great big hug... Take care....Scott aged 32

Name: Drew
Website: Life at a Private School
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Sydney, Australia
Time: 2000-07-25 01:32:22
Comments: Gabi, I have read Your loving and gentle story about Bill many times in the past and I am not usually one to respond or put my feelings down on guestbooks. I tend to do that far too much on my own sites and in the thousands of emails I send out. I am an openly gay guy living in Sydney, Australia and remember the hatred and the torment that I went through at school. In fact I have been writing a fictional account of my time at school, not the reality more the fantasy that I had of finding soeone like me who was "different" or as has recently been coined in the film Get Real "Dodgy". It's part of a cathartic experience to bury some of the eveils that I went through, the beatings the constant harassment, the ridicule by the teachers as well, and then the inicident that changed my life. When two boys were caught in a compromising position at my school the word got out quickly and succintly. Within 24 hours the entire country had heard and was talking about it. To me it was embaressing but nothing more, a bit close to home as people asumed I was gay even though I never openly stated at that time that I was. My school reacted as was expected - badly and made every boy go to personal development classes conduceted by the headmaster and chaplain - in other words why being gay is evil, gainst nature against god etc etc. I listened in growing horror and anger until I could take no more of the disgusting bigoted diatribe that flew out of the so called "leaders of scoiety's" mouths and stood up to leave the hall. Of course this was a red flag to a bull and and I was verbally pounced on and from that moment on known as being gay. Unfoirtrunatley the two boys were not so lucky, at the time I was too terrified for myself to help them aor show them solidarity or support and I still regret this to this day. Then when I left schoo and started a relationship - of sorts with a boy, he committed suicide shortly after we started seing each other because he couldn't handle the guilt of being gay. These days I get many emails from guys and girls who read my story and tell me about their expoeriences and their despair at being gay and how reading my stry ahs helped them see that being gay can be lovely and love is love regardless of sexuality. Reading your story has made me question my thougts that maybe things are getting better.....Is till don't know..... Gabi God Bless You and your journey Drew

Name: dean
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
Time: 2000-07-24 22:44:25
Comments: sorry your faggot son is dead....train them better!!!

Name: Elaine
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Belfast, Northern Ireland
Time: 2000-07-24 06:53:51
Comments: My heart goes out to the trauma and hurt that Bill went through! At 17 it is easy to think that things will not get better. I myself am a survivor of rape and I too have had suicidal feelings. One of the only things that have helped me through is the thought that one day I will feel better and my life will be filled with happyness once more. Bill's story is very sad and touched me where not many other stories reach. Your family must be very strong and I am sure Bill is still among you. What I know is that homophobics are people who don't understand what it means to be gay and are indeed dangerous, full of hatred and scared. My prayers to Bill and his family and all other victims or survivors of rape, sexual abuse, suicide.

Name: Talisha
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Seattle, WA
Time: 2000-07-24 01:31:36
Comments: Thank You Gabi for sharing your son's story. I have to admit it brought me to tears, not only at the pain and loss you must have felt, but at the ignorance and intolerance of people in this world. Thank You.

Name: Jennifer
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Providence, RI
Time: 2000-07-22 18:54:30
Comments: I want to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. It must be really hard to go on day by day knowing he's not here anymore. All I can tell you is that where he is now is much better than being on this Earth. He's with God and all the angels. He's not judged or discriminated against in Heaven. Just extremely loved and cherished.

Name: Karen
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Southern Illinois
Time: 2000-07-22 10:18:29
Comments: I thank God for your website. Hopefully, many in the "straight" society will come upon it and be enlightened by it. I am a 53 year old lesbian in a committed relationship. I didn't feel safe in coming out until last year! When I was Bill's age, the result of coming out for many of us was institutionalization for a "cure." I am now a member of several activist groups whose mission is to educate society, secure equal rights for GLBTs, and put an end to hate crimes and discrimination. I am particularly concerned with the fate of the thousands of young men and women who live in fear and depression because of their sexual orientation. Coming out and living out should be a joy, a relief, an affirmation - it should never put one at risk of losing one's job or one's life. We are ALL God's children - and we must work toward understanding, acceptance and peace in our society - for each member of that society. It is my prayer that through our (GLBT's, PFLAG's and other friends') visibility and efforts to educate society about our lives, we can someday put an end to the violence and hate which has destroyed so many wonderful young lives "in the name of God."

Name: Billy
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Aber, W.A.
Time: 2000-07-22 00:22:56
Comments: Don't know if you got my half writen note or not. Will E-mail you the full letter A.S.A.P. Thank You For you'r hard work and help. I am so sorry for your loss. Dearest Re- Billy

Name: Mark Julius
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: London, in Seattle
Time: 2000-07-22 00:05:24
Comments: As one of the two members of my company's diversity group I am constantly striving to promote tolerance of all people and found your story to be terribly sad but a reminder of the work still needed to be done. Best wishes, Mark

Name: David Thompson
Website: David & Tommy's place
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Dallas TX
Time: 2000-07-21 07:03:51
Comments: Dear Gabi, Your page is a wonderful tribute to your son. I cryed terribly (at work) while reading about the hate and challenges that Bill faced. I also attempted suicide as a child and wished I could have had a site like yours to help me relate to my own problems. You have created a wonderful legacy for Bill with this support page, I am sure he would be proud. He has touched my life as well as many others. God bless you in your persuit. David

Name: Patricia Hutchinson-Crowder
Referred by: From a Friend
From: TN
Time: 2000-07-20 14:52:14
Comments: A friend of mine from the web told me about you and your son. She (Toni P. and Des) rode to a gay rally with you and your husband.I am glad she sent me your website. Very sorry about the loss of your son. Thanks for all you do to combat the hate that cost you your son. I sure he would be proud.patty

Name: Bradley
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Ontario
Time: 2000-07-19 15:58:13
Comments: Hi, I'm 18 and have known I'm gay for 2 years now, I have also been subjected to dicrimination on a few occations, and was beaten up once. I have attempted suicide once but thankfully I survived. What I'm trying to get at is that, I am not strong enough to try and change things like you are, and i thank you for it. I may not know you. But I am eternally grateful for what you are trying to accomplish. Thank you. My blessings go out to you. And to Bill, i hope that whereever he is, he is happy and free from the hate.

Name: Zachary Houston
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Tampa/Cocoa Beach, Florida
Time: 2000-07-18 13:21:45
Comments: I am a 17 year old homosexual youth, and I would like to express my deep sadness at the loss of this young man that seemed so very intelligent and caring. I am "out" and have been fortunate enough, thanks to people like Bill and his parents, to never have experienced the kind of hatred described above. The only hate crime I have experienced directly is that of my parents. They cannot accept me. To all the parents surfing this site, please accept and love your children for who they are...If you don't, it could end up killing them. I would also like to reach out to anyone who views this site and needs an open ear...Feel free to e-mail me. Thanks!

Name: Damian Barr
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Scotland
Time: 2000-07-18 04:11:14
Comments: What an amazing, but sadly very ordinary, story. Your son, and my best-friend, are just two of the thousand sof wondrful people taken from us by evil homophohbes. What hurts most is, I think, that this is not recognised and that often, as you say, salt is poured into the wound. You have a lost a son, I have lost someone I knew my entire life. We can only carry their memeory ofrward and hope the world moves forward with us. Take care, Damian Barr.

Name: Jay
Website: Jamie's Home Page
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Albany, NY
Time: 2000-07-14 06:21:04
Comments: Sorry to hear about your loss. What really gets me, is the denial of bill becoming an organ donor in death, b/c of his sexual orientation. I think you made a STRONG point in your letter. Best Wishes

Name: Anne
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
Time: 2000-07-13 19:40:40
Comments: There are so many stories like this one, that have never been told. Thank you for speaking out. God bless you for your efforts. For everyone out there who feels like Bill did, please know God loves you. Together we can make a difference.

Name: Jharo
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Hawaii
Time: 2000-07-13 11:40:15
Comments: Aloha, Reading this story I just feel the torment and anguish your son had to face. Just know he did not die in vain. The unselfishness of his enduring love will continue in his legacy that survives in the lives of his family, friends, and acquaintances. Aloha Pumehana, Malama Pono!

Name: Eva Papatheodorou
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Montreal, Canada
Time: 2000-07-12 13:05:08
Comments: I applaud you for being such an amazing woman. I have been going threw a depression too. It was just the other day that I had an abortion and I feel very alone. my parents do not know about it. But when the time is right for me to have a baby I will accept that baby no matter what its color or sexuality is and you will be one of my roll models. Thank you and God bless you.

Name: Kiki Clegg
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Sharon Pennsylvania
Time: 2000-07-12 13:01:30
Comments: I would like to say how much Bills story touched me. Iwas a gay teen and went through alot of emotional ups and downs including sucide attempts. He is an inspiration to all glbt youth and adults. We all need to stand behind our community. Sincerly Kiki

Name: northwest
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
Time: 2000-07-12 12:05:21
Comments: I was surfing on the net doing research on hate groups; I come across the story of your son. I believe in acceptance of people whatever is their belief, race, creed or sexual orientation. We have a society that is so easy to judge; a person's sexual orientation does not make them different from all of us. The hate must end but we all have a daunting tasks ahead of us and we must all work together. It must start from our own home, teaching our young kids "hate is a luxury none of us can afford". I hope our young people going through the motion of searching for their own sexuality will join a support group; punishment for hate crimes must be severe so people would take it seriously. Community participation and rejecting hate is vital. The church MUST do their part instead of promoting hate; as we all know majority of the time; homophobes are religious people. Even religion can be use in spreading hate in subliminal fashion. My heart goes out to you and your family. God Bless.......

Name: Rob
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Atlanta, Georgia
Time: 2000-07-12 11:56:30
Comments: What is causing our culture to turn violent? When I was a teenager (20 years ago), kids like Bill would not have suffered physical violence (just taunting) for being "different." Of course, back then, no one was "out." At that young teen age, I am not sure that a person's "permanent" orientation is set in stone, anyway. However, it seemed like kids back then who were "different" or who had different interests (art, music, etc. - as opposed to sports), merely had to put up with taunts of "fag," "queer," "gay boy" or things like that. It might have been more violently confrontational if kids back then had "made a stand" or publicly expressed their mixed sexual feelings. Mostly they were deep in the closet. I don't understand how our culture can be so liberal and the media so accepting of virtually every different lifestyle and interest - yet individuals who are part of our culture can be so violent and evil. I think that people who perpetrate crimes against gay or bisexual individuals must be terribly afraid that they have "homosexual tendencies" themselves - and they believe that they can expunge their own confused "demons" by expressing outrage at others who are comfortable with their own orientation. I don't know what is the answer to this problem. Maybe it would help if some prominent "manly" men - who are admired by almost everyone - were to come out & say that they are not afraid of becoming gay just by being friends with gay or bisexual people. Or imagine if a major "straight" sports star revealed that he was actually bisexual - or that he had had same-sex feelings (consummated or not). Maybe that would help things along. I feel really sad about Bill. The world lost a great person when he passed away. His story has touched me. God bless you and your family.

Name: huntryss
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
Time: 2000-07-12 01:01:27
Comments: This is a tragedy that never should have happened. God willing--hate and ignorance will both be overcome..for one can not survive without the other. Angel's tears for your loss...God's blessing for your son. For those of you who read this and think Bill took the easy way out--it is not the answer--not the way the world is going to change. Maybe it was Bill's only way out--but it does not have to be yours. Learn from Bill. Show Bill that things can be changed!! Hang in there!!

Name: Echo Bennett
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Pa
Time: 2000-07-11 13:45:01
Comments: Billy was right cu i just got done cutting myself now i'm running away!!!!!!

Name: _______
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
Time: 2000-07-10 21:15:53
Comments: i am getting ready to follow bill's footstep...i know how he felt and if he hurt anyone please forgive him cuz i can understand the pain he could be going through

Name: Gabi Clayton
Website: an index page to past guestbook pages, responses, and more...
Referred by: Tripod
From: Olympia, WA
Time: 2000-07-10 07:24:52
Comments: This new guestbook was started on 7/10/00. Links to pages with past responses to Bill's story are on the index page. Thank you so much for signing my guestbook. Love, Gabi

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