Gabi Clayton's Guestbook #17 - From 3/14/99 to 4/27/99
Note: This guestbook reads from the bottom of the page up. -- Gabi

Name: Steph
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
Time: 1999-04-27 00:20:53
Comments: Hi, I'm a 16 year old girl and I think that more kids my age should read this page and see how serious hate-crimes really are with our age group. Kids need to be more sensitive to people feelings. I'm sorry about your son. I wish the best for your family and send them all my sympathy. Steph

Name: Frank
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Rochester NY
Time: 1999-04-26 22:55:42
Comments: I am very sorry to hear about your son. it is a terrible part of the world we live in that people will not care enough about others to understand them or be their friends becasue of something like being gay/lesbian/bisexual or any of the other prejudices that people have. i have a very very good friend who has just come out recently and i pray that his parents will be as good to him as you were to Bill in supporting him, and i am glad to hear that there are people like you out there who care. let us all try to be as understanding and caring for all people in our communities, regaredless of our differences.

Name: gavin barr
Website: naillernest
Referred by: From a Friend
From: northernireland
Time: 1999-04-26 00:01:01
Comments: just read your heart warming story about bill and cannot express my heart felt grief at your loss, speaking from a gay man who's parents have just came to terms with my sexualty.there were many times i thought of killing myself because i was gay, i used to think i was the only one but as i got older i knew i was not alone, at this moment my heart is is with you and your family take care lots of love gavin.

Name: Rike
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Germany
Time: 1999-04-25 19:30:01
Comments: Dear Mrs. Clayton, reading what happened to your son makes me sad and it makes me angry. I'm not able to understand why there is so much hatred in the world. Why it is so important for people to judge about others, only because they seem to be different? And why is it so hard to understand that love is just love, it don't matter if it is between a man and a woman, two women or two man. LOVE IS JUST LOVE. I wish that someday no one has to suffer again like your son had to, like your family and the friends of your son had to. I hope that my kids will live peacefully, whether they are het or gay or bi. I hope that they don't have to hide for what they are. Dear Mrs. Clayton, I hope you will find peace some day, that you will be able to continue your work, I hope that your son did not die in vain. I hope that those blind people will be able to see the truth, that they are wrong in harassing others. And that the society will change their attitude. Hugs and a lot of love from Germany - Rike

Name: Daniela Ortu
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Italy
Time: 1999-04-25 19:21:50
Comments: I came on you r sote through Chadley's. I come from Italy and I am str8, but I love gays, my best friend is gay and many of the people I am getting to know are such. As a woman I find my gay friends supportive, funny and people who really care more about other humanbeings. I live in Rome and you know, well the Pope...and so on...I am no catholic but here the situation for queer people is not easy, so I only hope in my own little to be able to help my friends as they help me throughout my life. I hate discrimination and I know what it means to loose a friend, a friend of mine killed himself, he was str8, but taht isnot that important anymore, the important thing is that he is not here anymore. I think about you and your family, thanks for the emotions I felt viewing your site, Daniela

Name: Donna Bickford
Referred by: Net Search
From: San Antonio, TX (originally Maine)
Time: 1999-04-25 00:10:59
Comments: I'm so sorry for your loss. I would like to print out "Bill's Story" and use it in my classroom when I start teaching behaviorally and emotionally disturbed children. These students, like all of us,can benefit from your personal sharing. Thank you for sharing your story.

Name: Danny
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Germany
Time: 1999-04-24 18:38:09
Comments: Dear Mrs. Clayton, I read the comments of other people who signed your guestbook and actually I don't know what to say. It's is so very sad what happened to your son that it makes me want to cry out with anger and rage. But there's always hope and the world has not gone down completely yet. I'm from Germany, 28 years old, het, and I simply can't believe why there are people out there committing hate crimes, ect. Mrs. Clayton, I'm sorry for your loss. I don't know what else to say. Thanks for putting up this website. Hopefully many, many people read it. With regards, Danny

Name: mark eisner
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Nova Scotia Canada
Time: 1999-04-23 03:47:09
Comments: I was just reading about hate crimes on the internet and read your story about your son. After this week and the student shooting in Colo. why does it take so much hate in some young people to do this to one another (I will never understand)and your story is just as sad as losing 15 students! Maybe your goverment (and mine)should spend more time in this country instead of bullying other countries and take a serious look at the kids and why this has to HAPPEN AGAIN to our young people!! My thoughts are with you!! MARK E.

Name: TOM
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
Time: 1999-04-23 02:31:40

Name: Scott Sutherland
Website: My Page.
Referred by: From a Friend
From: SF Bay Area
Time: 1999-04-22 20:33:09
Comments: never give up hope; someday, things will get better.

Name: sean
Website: Pinion's Place
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Riverside County CA
Time: 1999-04-22 09:49:29
Comments: Your son is truly and inspiration to me, and im sure many more people. I only wish i could be as brave as your son was, and still is. I still believe that someday the world will be free of ignorance though. someday

Name: Renee
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Whitewater, WI
Time: 1999-04-21 22:22:08
Comments: I personally am religious and do not promote homosexuals, but they are people too, so I give you all a lot of credit for the work you are doing and having the courage to tell your story. I am truly sorry for your loss.

Name: TREE
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
Time: 1999-04-21 21:58:54
Comments: GOD BE WITH US_

Name: Kirk Rutter
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: London, England
Time: 1999-04-21 12:51:02
Comments: I'm not sure what to say, other than to agree with your statments on hate/violence. I'm very sorry for your loss. Be strong. Regards. Kirk Rutter

Name: Patty Howe
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Curwensville, PA
Time: 1999-04-21 06:55:15
Comments: My heart aches for you. I am a mother and have not lost any of my children. The hate in the world is what caused the pain in your heart. We need love for our fellow man. not hate. We need to help one another and be more understanding. God Bless your family.Sincerely, Patty

Name: Pedro A. Caraballo Velez
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Puerto Rico
Time: 1999-04-20 14:03:58
Comments: I have no words, just courage to fight, and someday let people learn that diversity is what held us together. No tengo palabras solo corage para continuar y algun dia la humanidad entendera que la diversidad es lo que en realidad nos une.

Name: Merrill Danforth
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Maine
Time: 1999-04-19 14:14:24
Comments: My thoughts and strengths go out to you this day. If only there were more Bills in this world and more understanding parents and people like you. Accept me as I am not as you want me to be or you think I should be. We can only go on in life if we know we are loved and accepted by others.

Name: Yuzuru Izawa
Website: PAGLA - projects for brasilian gay youth
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Sao Paulo - Brasil
Time: 1999-04-19 05:41:53
Comments: It's so hard thinking in something to say.... I just wanna say I cried when I saw this history. I wish Bill, Matthew Shepard and so many other were still alive, and breathing, and having fun and pain...but alive. I will translate this page to the portuguese, with Gabi Claytons permission, and I will try to make people in Brasil also know, despite their efforts to ignore, the pain and the price of silence. Yuzuru Izawa - 23 years old, brasilian, gay

Name: Richard A. Walker, SR
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Albany, New York Area
Time: 1999-04-19 01:46:16
Comments: God Bless you Mrs. Clayton for sharing your your tragedy of the loss of your son with me today and as you have done with many others reaching out in despair for help from a much and hated and cruel world that is homophomic with the gay lifestyle that exist today, in the future and that has always existed in the past since the beginning of time! I am a gay man of 55 yrs of age, who just came out of the closet almost one year ago to my wife and son and some friends.. Living all these years in much fear and pain has been very difficult for me as I am sure many other gay peeople are living in the society we exist in. Tears rolled down my face as I read your son Bill's existence in his few short years here on this planet called earth.. I could identify so much with what you shared about him in my younger years as a teen, being petrified of anyone finding out who I was... Not really knowing who I was yet and thinking I was some sort of freak and one of a kind, I did many times considered escaping by suidcide. Being brought up catholic I was taught it was a Mortal sin and absolutely forbidden by God to encounter in same sex relations with anyone, as well as it was drilled into me by my loving parents.. I couldn't blame them, they only reacted to what they had grew up with and it was passed on. I am a married man to a most wonderful woman for over 34 yrears and her not completely understanding my lifestyle as well as my son..did however accept and support me for who I was. Since coming out I no longer have to live in fear and pretend or live a double life as a gayman and a straightman.. Up to the point of being who I was born to be recently all those years I still had so much fear inside me and always considered suidcide as an alternative to allowing those I loved to continue on, without causing then no embarassment of the world finding out I was a gayman. I now hold my head up high and have my self-esteem back knowing that God loves me and that he made gay people that way... From this point on I want to be available to any one particular person that may come along and need help to understand who they are so that they do not fall into the jaws of death as what had happened with Bill, only because so many people didn't understand what a gay person is all about and that there hearts was so filled with hate and judgement. If anyone would like to contact me I have ICQ and my number is 9600279 or reach me at the above e-mail.. I don't care what time of day or night , but I will find the time to assist anyone in need. Also the above web page is one that was done by a dear straight friend of mind when I was confused about coming out and he made this for me.. Any gay person confused will find this page very helpful in understanding who they are and will help them continue on a more rewarding path into our lifestyle knowing it is alright to be who you was born to be and we are still loved by many.. Thank you for allowing me the time to place this with you...

Name: Steve
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
Time: 1999-04-18 00:45:55
Comments: Your story touched me very deeply, tho I am not bisexuall or gay, I am a human being, And I have to say that this should have never have happend, rest assured that God is taking care of Bill now and he will never be hurt again I can't finish this, I am a grown man about to break down and cry, I give my sympathy to You and wish You love and just realize that he will alway's be with You in Your heart and in Your memory,

Name: Dreaming Wolf
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Indiana
Time: 1999-04-17 07:24:36
Comments: I cried when I read your story about Bill. Everyday is a struggle for me as well. I came out to my mother in August of 1996. My family is not very accepting, and my siblings harass me almost daily. It seems like my parents are keeping me stuck at home. I want so much to break free, and just leave. I'm just scared of what will be ahead of me when I've had enough and decide to leave. I'm 22 years old. I was harassed in school as well, had a few good friends but they were all from other countries, and all moved away. It's so hard because I have no one i can talk to. I've had a difficult life. I've been through therapy. I just got dumped, by my boyfriend-internet love, and it's been really weird ever since the beginning. I'm writing about all this because theres alot of people viewing these entries, and maybe someone can offer some advice or friendship. I've been through the depression, and tried to commit suicide, but I knew that wouldn't help anything. I opened up and talked about it, and felt much better. Everyday is still hard my mother is convinced she is going to find me a wife so she can have grandchildren, thats just seems so selfish. We used to be so close but we argue alot now, all because I'm gay. Thankyou for sharing your story about your beautiful son, and giving me some space to share a bit about mine=) your story gives me a reason to fight everyday to better myself, because I'm not giving into the negativity of our society. Thankyou =)

Name: fergus
Referred by: Viewing another Guestbook
From: Kilkenny,Ireland.
Time: 1999-04-17 02:54:36
Comments: WELL, WHAT CAN ONE SAY ?......(SORRY?)

Name: Albert
Website: John and Albert
Referred by: Lycos
From: Madera CA
Time: 1999-04-16 21:19:42
Comments: I had read the story about your son not to long ago, at the time it brought me to tears, I was one of the lucky ones, I had told my parents when I was in my mid 20's and they accepted it, to some degree. My dad told me I was still his son and he loved me, and it was my life and if I was happy he was happy. I am 38 and going back to school, that is how I found your web site, research for a term paper. (spelling is not one of my greatest things in school.) My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, Bill seemed to be a wonderfull person, I would have loved to have known him. Time does heal but the pain will always be there. Love Ya, :-) Albert

Name: Stacy
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: california
Time: 1999-04-16 18:48:46
Comments: I think your web page is beautiful, I send my condolences:) Staci Turner

Name: Steffan
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: San Francisco
Time: 1999-04-16 09:09:53
Comments: Your page is heartbreaking. As an out gay man in San Francisco, it is easy to forget what its like to be in an environment that is openly antagonistic toward your very being. I can't imagine anything more horrific than losing a child. Its as if the world were turned askew, and the natural order of life and death circumvented. Your son was very lucky to have such a supportive family. One can only guess at the possibie life he would have had if circumstances had been different. Ultimately, he leaves a legacy of education and enlightenment through you and the people he touched. Thank you for creating this page in his memory.

Name: John Dalziel
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Coventry, England
Time: 1999-04-14 19:48:18
Comments: I was deeply moved by what i was reading. Im really sorry to hear that it ended like that! Being 16 and possibly bi - sexual Ive nearly killed myself more than 6 times because of the pain and agony it puts u through. Reading the page made me relise that u can hurt so many people by ending your life so its changed my view on life! Thanks and be strong love John xxx

Name: Andrew Jordan
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: London
Time: 1999-04-14 13:24:56
Comments: I have just finished reading Bill's story. It touch me more than words alone can say. Being gay as I know is not a Choice it's just the way some of us are. Acceptance of homosexuality is maybe a dream, but is still a cuase worth fighting for. My heart goes out to you and you will forever be in my prayers. Andrew

Name: Gilbert Lemieux
Website: La Toile Communautaire
Referred by: Tripod
From: Montreal (Quebec) CANADA
Time: 1999-04-14 03:55:36
Comments: I was building my Homepage on Tripod and I wanted to see how other people were dealing with their stores. I found you in the Art Category. I could not leave your site before at least saying Hello. Your positive thinking is an inspiration. I'll be back...

Name: Lenny
Referred by: Clicked on our Banner Advertisement
From: Easton,PA
Time: 1999-04-13 18:19:32
Comments: Hi all.My name is Lenny.The other day I had got an e-mail from an asshole saying homosexuals are in the wrong in our fight for freedom from the tyrant country known as America. I'm sure Gabi,and her family still moarn the loss Of their son Bill. Bill was right when he said all must come out and band together to become free. Bill had a legacy wich I Leonard John Mott Jr,will carry out for Bill. I never knew Bill personaly,but it would have been an honor. I wish every humanbeing(wich excludes homophobes)the best. GAYS,LESBIANS,BIS,AND STREIGHTS,WE WILL ENTER THROUGH GOD'S GATES..............

Name: Liz Latham
Referred by: Clicked on our Banner Advertisement
From: originally Maryland, just outside of DC, been in Seattle since 1990
Time: 1999-04-13 14:48:50
Comments: I'm looking forward to spending time with you this Sunday. Best regards, Liz Latham

Name: Gary Simpson
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
Time: 1999-04-12 14:24:02
Comments: Hi Mrs. Clayton! It has been a long time since I first found your home pages. I wanted to drop by and let you know I was thinking of you.

Referred by: Just Surfed On In
Time: 1999-04-12 06:01:08

Name: Charles
Referred by: Net Search
From: Fredericton, N.B., Canada
Time: 1999-04-11 03:11:26
Comments: Bill's Story was referred to on a Sympatico Forum posting, also your homepage URL was I reached you easily. The forum topic is "Homosexuality and Your Views", and it is very popular. Gabi, I must commend you for your courage in continuing the fight against homophobia. I was saddened to see that the court gave the "bashers" such a light sentence. Then the Lions Eye Bank rejection must have felt like the last straw. You are on the West Coast...while I am near the East Coast. In our small city (45,000 pop.) the mayor refused for several years to permit the gay community to celebrate Gay Pride day with a parade. The provincial Human Rights Commission forced him to recant... so this year for the first time there will be a Gay Pride Parade here. We are winning, but slowly... My heart bleeds for you in your sorrow, Thank You for sharing, God Bless!

Name: Michael
Referred by: Net Search
From: Lansing, Michigan
Time: 1999-04-11 00:41:41
Comments: Thank you for sharing your story. I can never know your pain and loss, because I have never been a victim of a hate crime. Yet. Right now I have enough to deal with my own orientation. I am not out to my family (I am 39) but, I am out to 3 close friends. I wish you success in your goal and here's to a world without hate and prejudice. Sincerely, Michael F.

Name: Allie
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: NJ
Time: 1999-04-10 21:18:40
Comments: I would just like to say how brave you all are. Facing homophobia, is a tough thing. Being openly bisexual, I face the things your son faced everyday. Learning from his story I know it can only get better...I know that he lives on in your heart. I admire you and your son. . please be well.... Allie

Name: klynton kelly
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Queensland
Time: 1999-04-10 09:04:56
Comments: it's always good to share your memories.

Name: Michael Heath ( cul )
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Time: 1999-04-09 22:40:26
Comments: I am so sorry for your loss. I cried and cried after reading your tribute to Bill. It could have been me, but for a few simple twists of fate. I grew up in Detroit and would have been Bill's age in 1966. I have been fighting the "good fight" against hate crimes and homophobia in general for many years now and want to tell you this: although your tragic loss may make it seem not so, our efforts are not going to waste. Things are improving. Little by little, we are changing the hearts of the average person. There will always be people who hate, but there are many, many more people who love. I host a forum called Social Issues which has an ongoing discussion called Homosexuality and Your Views. Though there has been periodic posts by hateful people, the majority of posts are tolerant and supportive. I want to to thankyou from the bottom of my heart for offering me a glimpse of the life of your son. It has given me new strength and reason to continue my efforts in the battle against the forces that took your son from you. I will help you remember him. michael heath

Name: Linda S. McCormick
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Potomac, Montana
Time: 1999-04-09 22:32:40
Comments: I found you by way of 1000deaths. My son aaron shot himself 7/30/98 I am so sorry about your son. Aaron was schizophrenic, and had to deal with some very cruel people. We are raising a child of color and Hate crimes scare us.

Name: nicole
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: ca
Time: 1999-04-09 20:09:19
Comments: I am having a very difficult time dealing with what I just read. Iam writing a paper on hate goups and hate crimes. I was doing some reaserch when I came across your page. I can not even see the sceen through my tears. I am a straight female and in my opinion there is nothing better than a gay man to have as a friend. The hate in this world sickens me phisically. I am so happy to hear that Bill has such a supportive family. I know the pain that someone who is suicidal is going through and I also know the pain of losing someone dear to suicide. Bill and your family are in my prayers.

Name: Jamie Putman
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Placerville Ca
Time: 1999-04-09 04:31:33
Comments: I have just read your story about your son Bill. My heart goes out to you and it is full of sadness for you. If I can be of any use to you and any group that you know of please contact me. Here near me there has been dreadfull crime against women (the 3 sightseers murdered in No Ca.) and I have made a decision to do all I can to help in stopping crimes like this. I found your story in STOP THE HATE pages.

Name: josie
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: texas
Time: 1999-04-08 17:54:56
Comments: bill's story was touching.from what i read i think he really made a diffrence.the world would be a better place with more bill's.

Name: kengory
Website: History of Gregory & Garner
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Michigan
Time: 1999-04-07 18:06:00
Comments: It is with profound respect that I commend you for your ability to withstand the assault on Bill and yourself by the heartless homophobic (as well as the homophobic who assaulted Bill). I was deeply touched by Bill's Story and your Journals. I am a Gay man who came out late in life, but experienced much of the anxiety Bill felt about "telling" or "Coming Out." Thank you for sharing with me and the world - Bill's Story.

Name: Jimmy Waters
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Columbia, SC
Time: 1999-04-07 06:30:14
Comments: Right now there is so much I'd like to say in response to reading Bill's story, but its really hard through the tears. I have to say this, I applaud you for being so understanding towards your son. I can only hope my parents will react the same. They've been through similar situations with me (suicide, hospitals,etc) they just don't know why, yet. Ever since I came out to my friends, I've been happier than ever. I think a lot about the dangers I face by coming out and I try to tell myself that I'm strong enough, but I know without the support of family and friends that strength will never surface. I know the next step is to tell my parents because I need them more than anyone. I just wanted you to know that your story has given me renewed hope and strength to face whatever lay ahead. You are in my prayers. Thanks

Name: Nick
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: SC
Time: 1999-04-07 05:02:53
Comments: This page has really gotten to me. I have been thinking about killing myself latley, but after reading this calling a help line right after i get done typing this. I am a gay teen, and it is very hard. I have just recently told close friends. Thank you making this page. It has practicly saved my life. NIck

Name: groovinkim
Website: abyss of love
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: seattle, wa
Time: 1999-04-07 01:34:00
Comments: thank you for sharing your story. your son seems like he was a beautiful person, both inside and out. i am sorry to hear that some people were unable to look past one part of his being and see that beauty. i am glad to hear, however, that you are brave enough to share your story with others who might benefit from it. i am a bisexual grrl and kept it to myself through most of school... wish i had more courage to speak up. "i said 'why doesn't someone do something?' and then i realized that i am someone." - anonymous

Name: nicole
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: minnesota
Time: 1999-04-03 19:10:40
Comments: the story on bill was very touching and the love and his support from his family was pricless.bill sounded like a wonderful person and i hope memory stays alive

Name: Caroline
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Australia
Time: 1999-04-03 13:47:13
Comments: Thank you for creating such a site, that honours your son, and makes us all aware of the need to be accepting of everyone, for who they are. I hope you have found some peace, this story broke my heart to read. May his star shine brightly down on you every day from the sky above. All my love to you and your family and friends, Caroline

Name: Nick
Website: THis was the last thing on my mind
Referred by: Net Search
From: New Zealand
Time: 1999-04-03 11:43:25
Comments: Dear Clayton family, My name is Nick, and i am a 16 year old guy from New Zealand. I have been searching the net for teen suicide for quite a while now, and came across 1000 deaths. I randomly chose your site to go to, and have been here for hours reading the stories, articles and guest-book entries etc. I guess what i wanted to say was that your son was a wonderful person. No matter what he chose to do, he thought it was best. I know these wrods don't mean a lot really....i've had 4 people in my life kill themselves and have tried many times too. I know what it's like....but for every person that dies, it seems like a tiny shadow on the souls of everyone who....well everyone who ever said or did anything mean to someone. Well i'm babbling now....i just thought i'd tell you how good your site was and's hard to know what to do u end something like this??

Name: sarah
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Buffalo, NY
Time: 1999-04-03 03:00:29
Comments: Disco Dyke. That's what they call me at my school. They come to my lunch table, "are you really a lesbian? 'Cause I heard-" "Yup." That shuts them up. My friends are really supportive, but naturally, living in suberban Amherst, the 'safest' town in america, anything less than conformity is looked down on. I tried to bring my girlfriend to the last homecoming and was told to leave her home. Girls can't bring girls. I didn't realize there was a rulebook about who you can and can't bring to a simple dance. I fought that one until I recieved an apology from the principle himself. Not to mention that once there, the minute we hit the dancefloor, a ring of guys circled us shouting every obsenity in the book. And how about the shaving cream on my door spelling QUEER. Or the eggs, or the destruction of my artwork in the school's studio, or the hangup phonecalls. I get letters of threat to my little sibling, because her big sister is gay. Why do I have to live like this? Reading Bill's story brings tears. I don't want to end up dead. I just want to be free. I want to be me.

Name: Mark
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Chicago, Illinois
Time: 1999-04-02 20:56:18
Comments: Thank you for sharing so eloquently and passionately about Bill and his journey. My profound sympathy extends to you and your family, and I pray that you continue in the process of healing. We cannot remain silent. I would encourage all who read these words to use their speak against prejudice and bigotry. We must be a world about inclusion and tolerance. A society that not only accepts diversity, but celebrates it! There is room for all of us at the table... Thank you, Gabi, for raising levels of consciousness.

Name: hank
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: georgia
Time: 1999-04-02 20:52:00
Comments: My 17 year old son whom I love with all my heart made a serious suicide attempt last week. He is back home now. His life is a gift. He says he is gay and I finally believe him. He is right; I do not know how he feels, I just know I love him and want to help him stand on his own two feet. I am sorry for your loss. If you have any thoughts for us, please send them. Thanks ever, Hank

Name: Pat Weisberg
Referred by: Net Search
From: Greeley, CO
Time: 1999-04-01 21:25:11
Comments: I am preparing an introduction for the video Gay Youth to be shown at Colorado State University in Fort Collins, CO. The audience will be straight/gay professional women. Thank you for providing me with an insight into your son's life and struggles. I hope that you will not mind me using the information I have learned from your website to further educate our community. Thank You, Pat Weisberg

Name: Penny
Referred by: Geocities
From: B.C., Canada
Time: 1999-04-01 17:16:08
Comments: Gabi..until now I didn't know about your son, but my heart goes out to you. I'm a 57 yr. old woman who has just realized who I am, and I too am afraid of coming out. Reading your story of Bill brought tears to my eyes, and after reading some of your guestbook, I felt so much rage at a couple of entries, that I literally felt nauseous. Its so sad we can't accept people for themselves, not who or what they are. Labels only belong on tin cans and packages.

Name: Sarah Freiberger
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: New Albany
Time: 1999-04-01 17:00:41
Comments: I just wanted to say that this article touched me in a very personal way...I too am bisexual and have just recently come out to my close friends and my mother. All of this has been very difficult to handle even though I am secure with who I am and not ashamed of it. Fortunately I have not yet been rejected or discriminated against because of it and I hope that I will never have to be. I too was raped at the beginning of this year, but not because of my sexual orientation, but because the guy was an ********...I just wish that all the hate and violence would stop and people would come to the understanding that our sexual orientation doesn't change the fact that we are still good caring individuals...Thank you and my prayers are with you!

Name: Karen Riley
Referred by: Net Search
From: Pennsylvania
Time: 1999-03-31 18:18:08
Comments: I am so sorry that you lost your son. I want to know how I can help stop hate crimes.

Name: Cat
Website: Love All Angels
Referred by: Lycos
From: California (desert)
Time: 1999-03-31 07:10:54
Comments: Hi, Wow what an intense story! I'm so sorry about the death of your son. This kinda stuff really makes me angry. The ignorance of people is astounding! I'm originally from The San Francisco Bay Area, and of course as most people know that has a large Gay community. I have became friends with many gays, and I had a good friend die of Aids near Christmas in 1993. I was devastated. I'm totally against any hate crimes! Everytime I hear about them it makes me want to strike out at them, but then like my sister always tells me, it would make me just as aweful as them. I think there should be stricter laws of these crimes, no matter what there age is. I just want to send Angels your way, and I know your son has become one also! God Bless Cat

Name: Paul Brown
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: NYC
Time: 1999-03-30 21:17:23
Comments: Reading Bill's story made it come to life for me as though it had just happened. Now I'm sitting in my office on Wall Street with tears pouring down my face. Sometimes this whole culture just mystifies me.

Name: Tara Buvel
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Couer d'Alene Idaho
Time: 1999-03-29 21:01:20
Comments: I think what happen was unfair. I also think people should just learn to deal with the fact that there are people out there that are not all the same. I go to a group at my school it's a human rigts group and we have two girls that are bisexual and they get harrassed all the time When they went to the princeipal about it he told them that they where asking for it and should learn that people every where are going to hate them couse of the way they are. He told them that if he ever cought them holding hands that they would be suspended. So I think people just have a hard time to accept it.

Name: Eyal L.
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Israel
Time: 1999-03-29 10:21:07
Comments: Your story touched me, i couldn't stop thinking about it. I am 17 years old gay from Israel, and I am not so known in the "gays world". I hope i won't be in that situation when i decide to be open... Inspite of the pain you sure have, be strong!! Life sux as people say... it is so shame that people can stop all those things but they don't.

Name: Juan Carlos Palomino and Raymond J. Fisher
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: New York
Time: 1999-03-29 03:36:30
Comments: Thank you for sharing your story. We were deeply touched by it, and we hope that it will motivate people everywhere to work harder to create a world where these things do not happen anymore. Even though we do not know you, our hearts go to you and your family. God bless you for understanding and caring.

Name: Brad
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Houston
Time: 1999-03-28 21:08:56
Comments: What a great tribute to your son. I too am a you bisexual male....who at times had suicidal thoughts. But thanks to great friends, family, and Zoloft, I am finally happy about myself.

Name: cris
Referred by: NewsGroups
From: San Diego, CA
Time: 1999-03-28 04:24:15
Comments: I'm sorry this happen. You've done wonderful things on this web site. It's very well written and informative. I've added it to our web site for others to view and add to their knowledge about Hate Crimes. There are different hate crime bills coming up in many states. We need to be informed and vote accordingly! Thank you for sharing this difficult story, thank you very much.

Name: Jon Hurst
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Ohio
Time: 1999-03-28 02:41:06
Comments: Dear Mrs Clayton, My name is Jon Hurst and I am a student at Marietta College in Marietta College Marietta Ohio. I just want to let you know that the story of your son has really touched me. As a student working for equility on my college campus I know how hard it is to fight the battle against hate. It warms my heart to see a mother who loved and supported her son and who is still keeping the fight going on his behalf. Through your lose you are helping hundresd of people. In life I truly belive that God puts people on this earth to truly touch lives and I think that you and your son have and are continueing to do that. Thank you for everything! Yours in LOve Jon

Name: Please : Anonymus
Referred by: Net Search
From: Germany
Time: 1999-03-28 00:49:27
Comments: My english is not so good-but I just wanted to say that I am so unhappy with what has happend-I couldn't hold my tears back. Your Page is available in German at: I hope that this link and your story will help kids all over the World to see that there is another way than suicide! I'm thinking of you Bill! I don't know you but I'm sure that I won't forget you! I'm with you Gabi Yours Dreamer

Name: Eran Talbot
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Israel
Time: 1999-03-27 23:58:35
Comments: I tried but couldn't hold back the tears. I never thought I would come across a story which is a borderline mirror image of my own life. I saw the picture on 1000deaths, recently added I gather and of all the newly added photos I had an urge to click on Bill's. My name is Eran, 18 years old, openly bisexual living in Israel. Hate. It knows no boundries, Bill suffered hate that killed him, I suffered hate (and self loathing) that nearly killed me. What really sent shivers down my spine was the sexual assault. why? since I was 14 as well when I was assaulted by a 20 year old man. Looking into Bill's eyes was almost like looking into a mirror. I have 4 suicide attempts in my track record, and have been in therapy for a while now, I'm getting better though. I guess I can say that what I had problems coming to terms with the most was my sexuality. Bill was right. "this is not my choice, this is not something forced upon me, this just is" . It's people's insistance on staying in a bubble of denial, prejudices and misconceptions that nourishes hate crimes, ignorance and breeds it. I have never been physically assaulted for my sexuality but I have lost track of the verbal abuse I've had to put up with during my years at school. This country, so American oriented, such Western world aspirations and still so far behind on tolerance. I have had support and acceptance from all my closest friends and family ( exclusion of parents) to my mum and dad I only came out last October, last October I nearly shot myself... My mum is consciously in denial but deep down as all mothers know, she knows and she accepts, she loves me, and she would love me gay any time than lose me forever. When they all realised it was either being dragged from their convenient prejudiced stereotypical existance or risk losing me, they changed and evidentaly so did I. It is on the internet when I sadly realise that hate is so very much alive and that it is growing out of control. I'm sorry but I'm not feeling very articulate at the moment, I have so much to say but there appears to be a mental block that is holding me back. My point is that Bill is gone forever and by what I read, the world lost so much, putting a blame or pointing accusing fingers will not undo what has unfortunately been done, but we are still here, the survivors of a loved one's suicide, people who know a little too well the consequences blind hatred brings and it is up to us to bend over and backwards not to let it happen again. It's about education, its about open mindedness, about tolerance, about acceptance, so many qualities so many people lack! it all begins at home. Apparently I was destined to survive and I would like to make my existance in this world markable, knowing that i ahd done something, anything that in the long run might make this world a better place would mean everything to me. The battle is against hatred, Bill's death alone is one death too many, it is a battle that needs to be won at any cost, and consider me joined in! I am touched by this story and have never felt such strong empathy. I am so very sorry for your loss and would like to hear from you, Bill's mother or friends because I want to help, I may be on the other side of the atlantic but I want to help, I want to speak and if I can make a difference, any difference I want to. Best wishes of strength and support to all your family. Hoping to hear from you soon. Love, Eran Talbot, 18 and learning to be proud.... ( has the world forgotten that gay means happy???) ....

Name: PIPE
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: mexico
Time: 1999-03-27 04:13:33
Comments: my english is poor but im need talk whit you, my hope is for you, you are a people whit courages for the life....mi estimacion y dolor estan contigo, lo siento tu historia es triste, tengo fe en que eres fuerte....mi admiracion es para ustedes felipe

Name: Naz Layer
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
Time: 1999-03-26 22:00:47
Comments: My name is Nazi Slayer, UI would like to leave a few wqords about Bill. I'm glad he committed suicide because he was a fag XXXXer. He also deserved to be beaten to an extreme pulp.

I am against the affirmative action being run by minority groups such as the one Bill belonged to. These people are trying to dictate who you are and what you think. It is disgusting. They are ultimately going to take over the world. To find out more, visit

Name: A note from Gabi
Website: about the messages above and below
Referred by:
Time: 1999-03-26 18:02:54
Comments: "YOUR SONS KILLER"s message below was entered here in the guestbook 18 times and I have removed the repeats. I am leaving one here, and the message above from "Naz Layer" too. Yes, they are upsetting to me and I know they are to other people who come here to my site. But they are examples of part of what the hate looks like, and so I leave them to educate people who may need to see it. Love, Gabi

Referred by: Just Surfed On In
Time: 1999-03-26 18:02:48

Name: Kin Hon Chan
Website: My Homepage
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Summit, NJ
Time: 1999-03-26 07:37:01
Comments: Mrs. Gabi Clayton, I was doing some research for my argumentation paper about the Hate Crime Bill, and I saw your link at the YAHOO search engine. Your story has touched my heart greatly. I wish I have a mother like you, and I am very sure your son, Bill, is very proud of you for what you have done. May God bless you and your family. -Kin Hon

Name: Lorrie
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Southern Oregon by way of Washington
Time: 1999-03-25 08:15:40
Comments: Gabi ~ The page is really wonderful. (Its been a while since I visited.) I continue to draw strength and inspiration from you and Bill! Best wishes to all at the Clayton house. Love, Lorrie

Name: tammy litts
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: new york
Time: 1999-03-25 05:36:09
Comments: i was very touched by your sons story and your kindness in sharing it. i am deeply sorry for your loss. you are very lucky to have had such a wonderful, loving son and he was equally lucky to have such a loving devoted family. thank you once more for opening your heart and lives by sharing your sons story with us. it is one i will remember for as long as i live.

Name: Janet Roller
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: met u @ PFLAG! Great site!
Time: 1999-03-24 22:07:07
Comments: Hi Gabi! What an awesome web page u have! I'm so impressed and wish I had the time right now to read thru all of it. See u at the Safe Schools Vigil on Thursday!

Name: tasha lawson
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: minot, north dakota
Time: 1999-03-24 17:29:26
Comments: hello, I really thought the story about Bill wAs very sad.I am too struggling with the hatred. Being a lesbian is very hard. But i would like to write I give my heart to your son.

Name: Dava Coe
Referred by: Net Search
From: Small town in Oklahoma
Time: 1999-03-24 03:33:28
Comments: I found your story while doing research for a school project on intolerance. Hate crimes have been around for centuries and I can't believe that today, after all the education and progress we've experienced, these crimes still exist. The fact that people are beaten, harrassed, discriminated against, and even murdered just because of their sexual orientation really sickens me. The offenders commit these crimes out of lack of knowledge, fear of something different, and the assumption that all gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgenders are sex crazed perverts that spread HIV. When these people think of homosexuals they picture the sex act itself, because it differs from that of most heterosexuals. They never consider the fact that homosexuals are human beings with lives and goals and qualities that are similar to heterosexual people.

Referred by: AOL
Time: 1999-03-23 19:54:07

Name: J. Travis
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: New York City
Time: 1999-03-23 19:01:00
Comments: I applaud the work you have done on behalf of your son's memory. I am a 30 year old jewish professional. I came out only five years ago. For many years I was afraid, suicidal, and terrified of living any kind of life. I have not spoken to my father in over a year and a half, for many reasons, one because I am gay. My mother died when I was seven, and I have no brothers and sisters. Despite that trauma, I am very lucky to have established a close group of friends who are my second family, and am very close to much of my extended family, aunts, cousins etc. The work you are doing is amazing. I can feel in my heart that your son new how loved he was by you, and that his home would always be a safe refuge. I applaud your efforts. I only wish more people shared your attitudes. My grandmother used to tell me something after my mother died "No one is truly gone, as long as there is someone to remember them." Because of you, your son has immortality. regards, j. travis

Name: ryan fenner
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: nashville michagan
Time: 1999-03-23 14:49:55
Comments: sorry about what happened to your son Im really sorry

Name: Bob McCranie
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Carrollton Texas
Time: 1999-03-23 04:28:40
Comments: Thank you for sharing your lives with us.

Name: Mat Broomfield
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Near London, England
Time: 1999-03-22 01:49:41
Comments: Found your page whilst looking for Robbie Kirkland's tribute page. Looking at Bill I see another great looking kid whose life ended too soon. It can really choke you up. Looking at the pictures of Bill as a kid then as a teen there was only one difference - in one he was bi-sexual and in the other he was preferenceless. Otherwise, the exact same person apart from age. A small thing that came as a result of his maturing towards adulthood, yet people get so upset about it. Upset enough to feel justified in beating up a couple of harmless strangers on the street. Upset enough to make Bill feel that suicide was the only escape. What the hell is wrong with everyone? Sigh. Sometimes people's ignorance really makes me despair, it honestly does. I could understand everyone getting so judgemental if they ran their heterosexual lives perfectly but... Still, we can but keep our heads up and fight prejudice in whatever form whenever we encounter it. Love to everyone who finds the courage to try. Mat

Name: Ralph W. Yarnall
Website: North Carolina Future Business Leaders of America Home Page
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Boone, NC
Time: 1999-03-21 07:56:04
Comments: As many have said before me, I only make this comment after I have stopped to cry many times during my reading of Bill's story. This adds to my collection of stories I have read about gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender/questioning youth who have committed suicide. It is so incredibly shameful to live in this world full of hate and ignorance. I must say Gabi, that you are a superb mother and should take a bow for the great things you did and continue to do in memory of your son. My parents are not at all supportive and I have had a very difficult road in dealing with my own sexuality so I can definitely relate with Bill in many ways. I wish you continued success in fighting for this cause and if any help is needed, I am willing to pledge my eternal support with you as my leader. In Peace and Love, Ralph

Name: Kelly Pickell
Website: kpickell-homepage
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Indiana
Time: 1999-03-20 17:12:44
Comments: Thank you for posting this all on the internet. I've finally dried my tears and am able to write. I can't begin to imagine the pain you must feel. I've grown up in such a blatantly heterosexual family and environment that I was almost blind to the pain my own ignorance was causing. I can recall so many slurs and jokes about homosexuality that it makes me sick. I was in tears as I read your page, and at before I even finished, I was sick to my stomach and had to run into the bathroom and throw up. It was hard for me to read. But it's everywhere. What makes me sick is that the "holy book" of the religion I profess to belong to is so so often the cause of this hatred. I'm sorry for my own ignorance. I have no excuse now forth.

Name: Tenecia Wilkins
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Tucson, Arizona
Time: 1999-03-19 22:12:04
Comments: I would like to say the words you wrote really struck a cord in me. I have a friend who is gay and because I accepted it, I never thought that others would not. Your son's death was not in vain. Because of it, you are able to educate those of us who have been oblivious to the problems those of a different sexual orientation have to take on. Thank you for sharing such a personal part of your life. I will take your words of wisodm with me each day and pass them along to those I come into contact with, ~Tenecia~

Name: chester brwer
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: climax georgia
Time: 1999-03-18 22:23:58
Comments: i have a love and respect for you that you cannot know. only when the light of an innocent life is blown out do people stopand look andt what they are doing to each other. i am sorry it was your son. i too live in a life such as his. i live in a small community and am openly gay. my parents on the other han are NOT very supportive of me. i just hope my death does not have tho be the blow that opens their eyes. i pray hope for you. your friend in peace, chester brewer

Name: Lenny
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Sadly the USA.
Time: 1999-03-18 02:49:00
Comments: HI.My name is Lenny. I'm sure loosing Bill made it tough for all of you.My self and a few others are on a crusade against the west boroho baptist church. I encourage all closeted teens and adults to come out and start the war to end all wars. A "friend"told me that the final war fought in this world would be against races. He was right.The war soon to be declaired will be between the gay and anti-gay communities. A revolution must be fought. My felow members of the gay community,we must be brave,and pure of heart to gain the vicory. Bye and GOD bless. Love, The All American Boy.(Lenny)

Name: Amanda H. Moore
Website: The National Day of Silence Project
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: New York
Time: 1999-03-17 21:17:16
Comments: I just read Bill's story and I can't begin to say how moved I am. I indentify with How Bill was feeling because I was in a bad place throughout High School and deeply suicidal. I managed to hang on though. It hurts me so much to hear about hate crimes, homophobia, and ignorance. I am with you in heart and want to let you know that he won't be forgotten, that is very true. After my High School experience, I decided to dedicate my life to activism and helping queer youth. Since then, I have been majorly involved in PlanetOut, GLSEN, GLAAD, Digital Queers, and am the Northeast coordinator for the National Day of Silence Project helping to end the oppression of queer youth. I am sorry about your loss and am completely empathetic. My best regards, amanda

Name: Brian Paris
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Athens, Texas
Time: 1999-03-17 06:07:12
Comments: I am very thankful that you have put this site up. I have sat and read Bill's story several times and I think I can finally stop crying from anger and sadness. My heart goes out to all of you who are gay (like me) and bisexual. There are people that care for you, and if you ever need a friend, feel free to email me.

Name: Len Whitney
Website: AAARRGH!! superhero training
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Hollywood, CA
Time: 1999-03-16 19:41:28
Comments: Gabi, I hope you realize the enormous amount of good you are doing. I was a gay youth in upstate New York, and fortunate enough to make it to the more protected confines of LA and New York while I still had myself together. Maybe people who read Bill's story will help to make all the towns in this country safe places to live or leave at our own will. As long as your account of Bill's life touches people, he's living on and helping make this world a better place for all of us. Thanks.

Name: Niabi Wetcher
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Anacortes, WA
Time: 1999-03-16 18:29:43
Comments: I was raised by "hippie parents" (hence the unusual name)who taught me much greater and broader views than what my peers in my small home town tried to force upon me. My parents gave me "Our Bodies, Ourselves", too, when I was quite young and I grew up with the knowledge that no matter what choices I made, my parents would always love and support me. Although I cannot identify completely with the alienation that comes when one lives a lifestyle that society does not approve of, I have experienced firsthand the frustrations and pain of not "fitting in" or belonging anywhere because I would not succumb to the ignorance and prejudice of my peers. Thankfully, going away to college alleviated these feelings somewhat and even though I returned to Anacortes and live here now, I am much more confident about myself despite what I call the "small townness" of Anacortes, the small-mindedness. I am sending out to you a "cyber" hug and hoping that with the years passing, the pain of losing Bill has eased. I don't understand why there is so much hatred out there, since I don't feel hatred towards anyone and can't identify with that type of thinking. However, I am positive that it is learned behavior and your website is just one more way to help educate people out there about the attrocities that we as human beings are afflicting on our fellow brothers and sisters in this world. Good luck to you!! ~ Niabi

Name: Gillian
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Baltimore
Time: 1999-03-16 05:14:46
Comments: My roomate was Marcus Clark, he shares a WEB page with your son. I am really pleased that you took the time to tell your story and share it with the rest of us. It really meant a lot to me. I hope that you are finding each day a little bit easier to get through, although, it never will be the same for me or for anyone who was lost someone to suicide. May their souls rest in peace.

Name: Nathan A. Wielandt
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Anaheim, CA
Time: 1999-03-15 21:20:18
Comments: I have just recently come out to my family and fill that I am living in a nightmare. I feel lost, confused, saddened, angry. Over the past 2 weeks I have felt more prejudice and discrimination from my family then the past 7 years of coming to terms with who I am. It has been of great relief that I am not alone and that I do have many people friends and co-workers that support me. If anyone reads and would like to chat please feel free to email me and I would love to chat and be of support to one another....Thank Nate

Name: Ramiro Stephens
Referred by: NewsGroups
From: San Antonio, Texas
Time: 1999-03-15 10:31:03
Comments : HI, hearing your story has touched my life. I am a bisexual man who has not yet came out with my mother. Only my sisters and a few family members know. I am 21 now but, I have been through a lot. I have also attempted suacide many ocassions and I feel that we as humans should realize that this is not a choice that we make. We were born like this and I will tell you something If by chance their was a way to make Gays, Bis and lesbians straight. I will not take it. Our Lord made me this way and I am proud of who I am. I also lost my father (not simular to this) and it hurts greatly and it will never get better but, it will get easier. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of my dad. Remember, he is watching you always and now my father will watch him for you. I was debating to tell my mother about me but, now that I read your story about your son, I will tell her this weekend. Like I said "I am PROUD of who I am" and I will include your son inmyprayers. Also,E-mailme ifyouwant totalk.With LotsofLove Eli@~>~~>~~@~>~~>~~ @~>~~>~~~~~@~>~~>~~~~~@~~>~~~>~~~~ @~>~~~>~~~~@~~>~~~~>~~~@~>~~~>~~~~~

Name: Roger
Referred by: From a Friend
From: I live in Houston
Time: 1999-03-15 04:35:16
Comments: What a great mom you are! And what a great website.

Name: Kathy Sears
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Springfield, MO
Time: 1999-03-15 01:55:22
Comments: My friend, Terry Cockrum, and I were both very moved by your story. We would like to know if you have looked into making it into a movie. You said that silence propagates hate and a movie would scream it from the rooftops. We feel that Barbra Streisand could do your story justice!

Name: Janine
Website: Unconditional love
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: CT
Time: 1999-03-14 22:40:01
Comments: Thank you for making this page.

Name: Gabi
Website: An index of all the Responses to Bill's Story, and other related pages...
Referred by: Tripod
From: Olympia, WA
Time: 1999-03-14 20:55:58
Comments: This new guestbook was started on 3/14/99. I have a webpage with links to all the response pages, many other guestbook pages, and the pages related to "Bill's Story" -- see the link above. There is a limit to the size of entries, so if you have a lot to say it may cut off a part. You can send me a response in e-mail and ask me to post it on the Response pages if you wish. Thank you for visiting my website, for taking the time to respond, and for all your support. Love, Gabi

DHTML Menu by Milonic