Gabi Clayton's Guestbook #10 - From 6/3/98 to 8/20/98
Note: This guestbook reads from the bottom of the page up. -- Gabi

From: Linda (
Date: Fri Aug 21 22:53:05 1998

Joel, Bill...Love and TLS

Oh Gabi, you are doing such a wonderful thing here. We are so blessed to have you, and Joel(our newest Buddy), and Steve, and Martha, and all the rest.
We are fortunate that our love and connectedness is so strong that no matter what tries to break our bond, it just isn't gonna happen.
Don't stop! Keep up the good work!
Love always, Linda

From: André Forcier (
Date: Fri Aug 21 00:03:48 1998

My heart goes out to you!

I have read Bill's story a few times now. I got it
from Steve S. site and with your last post on his
discussion board I came to your guestbook. Words can not express the feeling of loss! I thank God
to this day that I was able to get through coming out, with just my pride hurt! I am amazed by the number of hate msg, and from what I see they have only one thing right, Bill is in heaven. Its a pity, I would love to see the faces of all those who hate on the basis of orientation, or hate period, when they are the ones being judged by God himself/herself!!!

You are doing a wonderful thing here! I am sure Bill is sitting up there with a big smile on his face for his Mom!

Much love.......André

From: Joel Traywick (
Date: Thu Aug 20 22:33:13 1998


I am the new Buddy for TLS. I love your site. Your story has moved me forever. The letter after this has also been the first letter of hate I have ever seen. I have a lot to learn. Please, please, let us get the message of tolerance out to those that would bomb innocents in Northern Ireland, young women in hospitals and loving mothers on the internet. I take you to task sir, should you ever visit here again. You should be ashamed. Christ's example was not persecution, even in the temple, he just destroyed the merchant's wares, not the merchants. I know those verses you mentioned and I know the Bible better than most, yours is not the way...

From: Dont Ask (
Date: Thu Aug 20 12:07:10 1998


All of you sexually-challenged, deviant, immoral, repugnant, disgusting perverts are a disgrace to mankind and our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Every pagan freak, and counterfeit-Christian needs to pick up a Bible and try *reading* it. Bill is in Heaven for killing himself like the Bible commands, he was a good Christian. His parents should be rejoicing. I pray for all you who will end up in Hell for the idol-worshipping, bathhouse morality you try to impose upon any normal, God-fearing, honorable people. I recomend the following reading: Genesis, chapter 18 and 19, Leviticus 18:22 & 20:13, Deuteronomy 23:17, Luke 17:34, Romans 1:26-32, 1st Corinthians 6:9, 1st Timothy 1:10, and Jude 7. God bless any who loves His Son, Jesus.

From: Ana (
Date: Mon Aug 17 22:56:14 1998

nothing to do with it, but anyways...

I'm just a 14 year old girl, from Portugal, a small conservative country that i hate.

I'm not gay or bisexual(I'm not realy sure), but I read the start of this web page and I remembered my idol Kurt Cobain(he kinda was bisexual), who commited suicide or was murdered 4 years ago.

I can't forget the death of this genious, who, in his clear and angelical way, translated mine and many many other people feelings, into magnificent songs. His death only started really afecting me 'bout 2 years ago, but I still cry for him, sometimes, every day. He was the Christ of the 90's, he came in our way, he waved, he tried unconsciently to open mankind eyes, then he left. Murder or suicide, I don't think I'll ever know for sure, but that doesn't matter, the truth is, even I never met him(only by is lirics), I miss him so much.

Anyways I don't cry only for him, I cry for a friend who died not long ago, I cry in despair for this life I live and hate, I

From: Kevin M. Brown (
Date: Mon Aug 17 17:15:01 1998


Tried to slip some HTML in but it didn't seem to work! :-) If YOU are a young person, "trapped" in a small town, would YOU post a message on my "Owosso's (MI) Gay & Lesbian Message Board? OR, if you have ANY POSITIVE thoughts to share on the subject? Thanks! Kevin... it's at:

From: Kevin M. Brown, (
Date: Mon Aug 17 17:10:30 1998

Has there been any CHANGE????? ......

Hi Gabi,
I've tried now three times to do this in the last 24 hours! First, my server dumped me, then the POWER went out! Thought I'd try ONE MORE TIME! :-)

Your story moved me the first time I read it, about a year ago. Then, I was surfing and came across the link to it on someone else's page. I scanned it again and it made me cry. What a sad WASTE of a fine young man!

I am living back in my "hometown" (four years back after about 25 gone - to CALIFORNIA!) in Michigan. A small, conservative REPUBLICAN area that frowns on anyone even TALKING about being gay, let alone being OUT about it!! Most LEAVE (as I did) when they are old enough, so there ain't a whole lot of "us" here! :-( I have created a "place" for those who ARE here, especially the ones too young to LEAVE (yet). Since it's not easy for a physical location to exist, mine is a "Cyber Hangout"......

From: Lyn. (
Date: Mon Aug 17 02:26:53 1998

A warm note from across the Pacific. (I talk to much.. I know.. but let's try this again)


I am living under a shell as to what difficulities others in the homosexual community, I'll proudly say I AM PART OF THAT COMMUNITY, from other parts of the world are facing. I grew up in a convent. We had our share of lesbians in there, before I even realised of my sexual orientations. Back in school, if someone is a lesbian, no one gives a hoot. Love is treated as what it is. An innocent blossoming of sincere fondness from the heart. Nobody cares if you're a girl and another girl had the hots for you. If one doesn't like it, the pursuer is let down gently. Such was the situation I grew up in.

Now I come across your tearful pages on the horrors your son and your family and those who care have to face. I feel like I have been living in an illusion. I may not have had to experience the hate and physical abuse as I grow up, but I cannot help feel the pain and frustratio

From: Lyn. (
Date: Mon Aug 17 02:23:17 1998

A warm note from across the Pacific. (continued .. damn space limitations! *grins*)

Hello. My name is Lyn and I am a 27 year old Asian female. I am also bisexual. I've only come to terms with my sexual orientation recently. In Singapore, which is where I'm from and currently live, homosexuality is not as openly a community issue as it is everywhere else in the world. If you're a homosexual, they leave it as it is. There have been no records, to my knowlegde of gay-bashing, be in verbally or physically in my country. Maybe I can consider myself fortunate in that sense because I don't have to fear walking the streets alone. Actually, our country has the lowest crime rate in the entire world. But that's besides the point. As I have mentioned, the homosexual community is not one of the topics raised often by members of our Parliament when dicussing issues of society. We don't have blatant discrimination towards homosexuals here and while people think that is kewl,

From: Lyn. (
Date: Mon Aug 17 02:22:44 1998

A warm note from across the Pacific.

Hello. My name is Lyn and I am a 27 year old Asian female. I am also bisexual. I've only come to terms with my sexual orientation recently. In Singapore, which is where I'm from and currently live, homosexuality is not as openly a community issue as it is everywhere else in the world. If you're a homosexual, they leave it as it is. There have been no records, to my knowlegde of gay-bashing, be in verbally or physically in my country. Maybe I can consider myself fortunate in that sense because I don't have to fear walking the streets alone. Actually, our country has the lowest crime rate in the entire world. But that's besides the point. As I have mentioned, the homosexual community is not one of the topics raised often by members of our Parliament when dicussing issues of society. We don't have blatant discrimination towards homosexuals here and while people think that is kewl, there is a downside to it.

I am living under

From: Ellen (
Date: Sat Aug 15 14:52:59 1998

Bill's story

Dear Gabi;
I have just read Bill's story and am sitting here reliving some of my own anguish. I am, first and foremost, a human being who is lesbian. I am also a teacher and was treated with an incredible amount of homophobic abuse by an administrator who alleged I had sexually harrassed a student. The allegation was false and I fought every step of the way. I was out of my job for a year and a half but have happliy resumed my career in the same district while the administator was let go. It hurt so much to know I was a hard-working, caring educator who was singled out because of my orientation. Although I was not physically abused, I think of what I did suffer everyday. I know it has changed me as a giving person. Please know that I think Bill sounded like he was a marvelous young man whose words and deeds have created a loving legacy for so many who knew him and didn't know him. I will pray for your family as you continue with your daily struggle to carry on w

From: Brian (
Date: Thu Aug 13 18:44:09 1998

what a great site

What a wonderful tribute to Bill, and to all of the many people who have died needlessly as the result of the stupidity and hateful actions of homophobic thugs. I'm sorry that you have to read things like the message left on July 6, but these messages can be used as examples of the need for change. By the way, have you noticed that these people never leave their email addresses? Perhaps they already know that their arguments are groundless and easily shown to be idiotic and untrue. Keep fighting the good fight. Bill would certainly be proud. May his memory be a blessing.


From: Robert (
Date: Thu Aug 13 03:15:28 1998

Bill's story

Bill's story has touched me more than worlds can describe -- my heart goes out to you all the people Bill was close to. I am 16 tears of age, and sadly, because of my sexual orientation, suicide is a topic I know well. The only thing that has stopped me from doing it is the hope of growing up and some day possibly helping other gay youth and adults in any way I can ... to some way prevent people from facing the same problems that I have faced no matter how big or small -- even if it means only helping one person to lead a better and safer life. That is enough encouragement for me to 'go on' and in my opinion should be enough reason for people who are considering suicide to continue their life also.

From: Van Thomas (
Date: Tue Aug 11 18:51:19 1998

Still crying, you and and Bill are in my prayers.

I have just read gone over your page. I am still crying. I am 15 and have not come out to anyone. When I posted my name I actually thought, "what if someone reads this and realizes who I am." God that is really scary. Actaully being scared to say who I am because I there is a chance that someone would find out who and what I am and not like it. I question the world we are living in because how good could it actually be with so many bad things happenin? I am so proud of you and Bill. I am sure he was a wonderful person, and I am sad I never got the chance to meet him. You and bill are in my prayers always, I just wish we could changethe world more,
thank you,
still crying,
Van Thomas

From: Bobby Powell (
Date: Tue Aug 11 16:39:33 1998


I just read your story. It's very touching, (especially since I am a gay youth myself)...sad, and inspiring at the same time. I'm terribly sorry about what happened to your family, and at the same time I laud you for your efforts and fortitude.

Bobby Powell
PNO Eros/Guide REX
-America Online :)

From: Morris Sims III (budbm21)
Date: Tue Aug 11 14:59:58 1998

Story about Bill

This is Bud. I have jjust read your story and I think it is very courageous for you to do what you have done, encluding putting this in the internet. I am a gay man and I have had this fear b4 b/c it has happened to me also. I just took personal action. Just wanted to give a great big thumbs up :-) Take Care.

Hugs & Kisses


From: Jennifer (
Date: Mon Aug 10 09:05:00 1998

I read Bill's Story

It made me think. That really isn't an odd thing, but it did put some things in perspective for me. I am not gay, but I am a Christian, and I am very ashamed, confused and upset by the stand that Christian community is taking on this subject, it doesn't make sense. Thank you for taking the time to post this web page, like I said, It made me think.

From: Gaid P.Korn (
Date: Sun Aug 9 15:55:36 1998

Bill's Story

Impressively inspiring story ever to be told on the net. Thank you for sharing us.

From: Jason
Date: Sat Aug 8 15:07:06 1998

Bill's Story

I would like to let you know that I am in full support of Story mentioned above. I am a 20 yr old gay male who is constantly trying to find ways to come out of the closet, but is really scared. My dad once told me if any of his kids were gay then he would kill. I have thought about suicide many times. But this special person came into my life "Levi" who has made my life even more special. I would like to thank you for the inspiration and support for us.

From: Rob (
Date: Sat Aug 8 06:24:55 1998

Unconditional support

Gabi,like you, my mum was very supportive when I eventually accepted my own sexuality at the age of 25. Having tormented myself for what felt like an eternity my family did not even question the issue of my sexual orientation. Unfortunately one needs more than acceptance from family because it is a tough world out there. The issue of my sexuality and denying it was the main reason for my nervous breakdown and three subsequent suicide attempts followed by three months in a mental hospital. Bill has my absolute admiration for being so brave and sensible to come out at an early age because I could not face up to it, and in the process destroyed myself. I found your page quite by mistake and while reading it through my tears it really touched a nerve or two, and it is comforting to know that no matter what burden we carry we are not alone. The lasting impression is of a very loving family who care very much for each other, who like all others cannot protect the

From: Damon (
Date: Fri Aug 7 18:47:42 1998

Your story/My story

Dear Gabi, When I read Bill's story it was completely devastating to me. I am 30 but have struggled all my life with being gay and suicide. I am writing a book on Gay Teen Suicide and if anyone can help me, please email me. My book is going to be almost exactly like your webpage detailing Bill's life, except other people's lives will be in it. Thank you. I myself was horribly suicidal from a young age. I still haven't made love to anyone. I grew up strict Mormon. Maybe one day I'll be happy. All my love and hope for you and your family, love Damon.

From: RUTH (
Date: Mon Aug 3 22:15:23 1998

the loss of a very brave boy...BILL...


From: Linda (
Date: Mon Aug 3 00:25:26 1998

Bill's Photo Album

Gab, I saw the link that you posted and I thought, I can't NOT click. So I did. As I looked at the photos of that beautiful kid, I rejoiced with you at his life. In the back of my mind, I knew that soon the pictures would end and I would no longer be rejoicing...that the happiness at sharing the photos would be replaced with sadness and anger.
Gabi, you are doing a wonderful job of educating people. I applaud you!
Love you-Linda

From: Ian D. Atkinson (
Date: Sun Aug 2 21:57:19 1998

So sorry....

I am a gay 17 year old living in Indiana. I ran across your story on the 'net. It brought me to tears. I am so sorry about your son's death. Something must be done, so things like this never happen again. I myself am Wiccan, and enjoy that pagans and the like share beliefs in that all sexual orientations are viable.

From: Kenneth Sherman (
Date: Sun Aug 2 01:05:15 1998


A very well written, heartfelt story. I am a gay filmmaker, having recently finished a film about a gay artist's grief process after secretly assisting his partner's euthanasia, and I am now finishing a script that deals with hate motivated crimes.

Your loss and story is not for not. You inspire and remind me of why I am doing what I am doing. The fear of random violence is something that we all live with, but the emotional impact of anti-gay violence has deep and long-lasting implications.

Your son was very lucky to have such love and support from you all.

From: Lori (Lori1110)
Date: Sat Aug 1 18:42:45 1998

Gabi's son Bill

Dear Gabi, I too have a gay son. He has quit school due to the harassment. He was so depressed that I was afraid for his life. I felt that I couldn't make him go to school anymore. He has been in the newspaper 5 times due to this. We even had someone call and threaten to kill him cuz he is gay. I called the police and there has been one arrest made. I too feel like I am on a mission to stop the harassment and hate crimes. I also truely believe that they are born that way. There are all types of people in this world, we need to learn not to judge them. I say live and let live! God Bless you for what you have done and for what you are still doing. You have my 110% support anytime. Hugs, Lori

From: Barbara (
Date: Sat Aug 1 12:22:18 1998

Thanks for your courage

Your willingness to share your pain and your anger through your web site is a courageous act. People often learn more from real life stories, than from all the traditional information and education we can provide. I believe and hope that in the time your site has been on the web at least one person has reexamined their feelings and beliefs about sexual orientation. If you have accomplished that, you have done a lot.
I started a web site Youthwork Links and Ideas ( provide information to those who work with and love young people in distress. As I searched for links to put on this site I came across some incredibly moving stories from people in a variety of situations. I have started a separate page to list and link to these stories and I have included Bill's page among them.
Keep fighting the good fight. You have a lot of support, even if it doesn't always look that way.

From: jeanne murdoch-zvonchenko (
Date: Sat Aug 1 03:32:01 1998

there is nothing to say but " I am so sorry"...

I have to say that I put off reading Bill's story for a long time... I have had some trouble from time to time with imbalance-- feeling everything so intensely for a year or so until I am absolutely numb... and then I go through a period of not feeling anything. This is when I met you, Gabi, in the end of such a period of numbness. I knew that Bill's story deserved more of my attention and emotional investment than all that. So I waited until now.
And I'm glad I did.
I'm so glad, as I'm sure Bill was ( is... I believe the soul, the spirit, the energy carries on) glad to have such a caring, supportive, loving family. I know teenagers don't usually seem like they appreciate what they have in family. ( They have nothing to compare to anyway, at that age we only know what we have). But I'm sure Bill knew what he had, in wonderful friends and family. And I'm so sorry that he probably knew all too well what else he had: a societ

From: Laksmi (
Date: Tue Jul 28 18:59:17 1998

i am sorry

hi my name laksmi and i was working in the school library and one of the students gave me an article and told me to read it. as i began to read my heart stopped and my hair began to stand on my arms. i felt a saddness come over me thinking that a young adult was driven to suicide because he was being who he was. people can be to cruel and not even know it. i am not gay but the community around where i grew up did not accept me and others because of how we were raised and we were tortured for it. i wish sometimes that i could be as brave as your son and fight more. i will say a pray for you and hope people will learn to put their egos aside and just been alittle more open.

From: Corey (
Date: Tue Jul 28 18:34:34 1998

In regards to your son

I feel so sorry for you and your family. The loss of your son is very tragic. I know this all to well living as an openly gay adult. It is very difficult even for me. I have lost so many of friends to suicide. I wish that everyone out there could only understand that we are not here to hurt anyone we are here as people and we are part of the human race. People out there can be so cruel to others that they don't understand what they don't like. I for one have had one to many bashing and suicide attempts that it is not funny. My last one was only 2 months ago and it left me in bad shape. I hope all these message help you get through the pain and that one day you will find peace.



From: sb
Date: Tue Jul 28 14:20:37 1998

thank you so much for telling this story that needs to be told again and again! as a gay teacher, i knew that all the descrimation i put up with was worth it when i had a student come "out" to me for the first time. pls keep fighting for justice and my heart is with you!!!!

From: andy (
Date: Tue Jul 28 04:46:43 1998

crushing opposition,

a friend just sent me "bill's story". it was crushing.

I'm a sixteen year old girl stuck in a boy's body. I'm also bisexual. suicidal tendencies have been a part of my life since I was very young. I feel so empty when I hear of yet another person crumpled by the weight of the world. I have managed to fight off my desires for the ease of death, I want to fight. I can't let myself go, I can't let other people's minds shatter my own.

I feel for bill, I feel as bill. sadly, though, I can only offer my encouragement, my support and my spirit, to you. I will, however, do my best to live, and to be something worth that privilege. something someone can realize is worthwhile, and something worth listening to. I live my life to learn al I can, and teach all I know.

I deeply apologize on behalf of the humans of this earth-- no one deserves hate. no one should have to put up with what bill died for.

From: robert larouere (
Date: Mon Jul 27 14:32:06 1998

thanks for all you do

thanks for bills story and all that you make all of use feel better for what we are.

From: Ian (
Date: Sun Jul 26 23:29:28 1998

I cant even begin to tell you how important your story is to all of us who are gay and bisexual. I am a 23 year old gay youth who came out 5 years ago. I remember all those times in highschool trying to deal with all the confusing feeling running through me. I remember one time walking into the bathroom and seeing "Ian G's a fag" on the bathroom stall. I spent 2 hours trying to earase it while deciding whether to kill myself. Your sons story broke my heart and yet at the same time gave me hope. Hope that one day the word hate will no longer exist.


From: Matthew Bohn (
Date: Sun Jul 26 20:02:40 1998

Parents like you

Throughout all that has happened I hope that your son realized just how blessed he was to have loving parents like you. There are many degrees of acceptance that a parent can handle after discovering a siblings sexuality. Lovingly you went far beyond acceptance, and the gay teens of the world would have it easier if they all had parents like you. I to have been blessed with two loving and understanding parents that overcame their previous beliefs to love thier two gay sons.
Your cause is not an easy one, which goes to show just how important it is.
Thank you.

From: Darrell Cooper (
Date: Mon Jul 20 13:45:49 1998

Love and Support...

Mrs. Clayton, family, friends, and supporters:
In your story I have found the courage to help.Thank

From: Michael Eignus (
Date: Sat Jul 18 14:56:32 1998

Appreciation & Gratitude

Having chanced upon your web site, I want to thank you for the helping me to feel a little more strength and companionship. The numerous rifts in common society worldwide has had me feeling a little "out-of-sorts" from time to time. Your dedication and friendship has seemed as a "cool breeze" of refreshment and contentment in a sometimes seemingly discompassionate society. Also, I have a "layman's" interest in psychology and related subjects, and intend to visit this site more often in the future for more guidance and inspiration. Peace and love be with you, friends.

From: Ronnie (
Date: Thu Jul 16 10:05:54 1998

I am Gay and afraid to come out.

I here of so many kids like he was that are getting beet up. I can't change the person who I am. I have a lot of gay freinds and 2 saved my life "God willing" my mother don't now unless I would be dead. When I read his story i read the whole thing and I was home alone and it made me cry. Sometimes I wonder don't people relize that we are humans. I am so afraid to come out being in a big city with not many gay people at all I would be afraid I would get my butt kicked or shott at. When my parents and bro go to bed sometimes 3:00 at night I have to call my boyfreind and it is a shame I love being who I am and nothings stopping it. And if anyone nose of a gay concilling area in Clevland,Ohio let me now, I am worried my mom and dad will find out I am gay and 'they' are religous and I go to a religious schooll that constitnly tells me it is wrong and that we choose to be gay. I loved you story it really inspired me.
well I think it is about time i sto

From: Tuscahoma (
Date: Tue Jul 14 12:15:58 1998


Thank you very much for introducing me to Bill. You have enriched my world by doing so. I am bisexual and had to go through much pain in my youth while trying to understand that. I was also gay-bashed in college and had periods of depression in high school. I also tried to commit suicide. For so many reasons, upon reading your son's story, I started crying and felt a loss; the loss of having learned of someone very special without being able to meet them; the loss of a kindred soul. Somehow I survived my youth and have discovered optimism and hope. I am currently married to a woman who is also bisexual and we have found a small community in Austin, TX of bisexuals. I will pass along your son's story to them. He will be remembered; his story has found a place in my heart.


From: Ansel Rognlie (
Date: Tue Jul 14 10:15:48 1998

Bill's story

Thank you for caring enough about your son to share his story with the world. I was very moved by his life and death. As a gay student, I can feel for the emotional struggle he was going through. I can only hope that through the help and support of caring individuals, such as yourself, that we can all help to end the hatred which is so prevalent around us.

From: Kat Holtz (
Date: Mon Jul 13 18:39:57 1998

bill's story

Thank you for sharing Bill's story. I will share it with the teenagers and adults that I know and work with.

From: yoshinori (
Date: Mon Jul 13 11:57:43 1998

i read

How do you do?
I have just sent you E-mail from Japan.

I am so impressed your message.
still, there are lots of difficulties,
i am going to live as a gya in Japan.
thank you a lot.
If I can, I would like to translate into
Japanese, and introduce Bill's story to

From: Tracey (
Date: Sat Jul 11 13:37:35 1998

Just when I thought . . .

Gabi -- I want to commend you for putting these hateful messages up on your guestbook. It is clear to me, if it wasn't before, that your fight against the hatred that killed Bill is an upward battle -- you have to wonder what the lives of those who left these messages is like if they feel so compelled to defecate in public.

I love you Gabi. I admire you. I support you. And so do so many others. And I fight alongside of you in the small ways that I can.

From: Brian Blueskye (
Date: Sat Jul 11 04:07:56 1998

Hate Crimes

I'm sorry to hear about your son. Hate crimes are acts of intolerence. Hopefully,hate crimes will be stopped. We need to teach kids that hate is wrong though. Hate is taught by parental units.


P.S. I'm so sorry this happend to you. If you need anything, feel free to E-Mail me.

From: Luca Guerrieri (
Date: Thu Jul 9 01:09:22 1998

Thank you

Dear gabi
I just wanted to let you know that I read your web-page and the tragic story of your son. I admire his courage, for it does take courage to be openly bisexual at such an early age, and I admire the support you and your family gave him.

In your story you hope he will not be forgotten. I am sure that he will not be. He has already become a part of all the people who have visited your web-site.


From: Boba Fett (
Date: Mon Jul 6 10:33:56 1998

Too Sad For Me

The really sad part is that you and all your sexual-deviant family has abandoned our Lod and Saviour Jesus Christ to fulfil your own perverted, abomibale desires. Bill did exactly what God would have wanted...(as He and the Lord command the death of all such freaks who do not seek or can not commit to repenance. He's probably in Heaven for doing God's will, unlike oyu and all our godless relatives. Mentals disorders do not justify freaks. God has said all such degenerates should be put to death, numerous time sint he Bible, as well as any who apporve of these abnormal atrocities. Doubters shall see Genesis 18, 19..(where God destroyed 2 whole cities for being fulls of fags, NOT because they were rapist fags either, it says God inetended to kill them LONG before that(see chapter 18...) ), Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13(all sodomites shall be executed), Deuteronomy 23:17(ditto), Luke 17:34(what Jesus Himself thinks of those freaks) Romans 1:26(see, your whole unna

From: Mark Ferrante (
Date: Sun Jul 5 21:11:51 1998

Your Son

I thought I knew what I was going to say, but I cannot seem to put it into words,
proper words to let you know exactly how I feel. Being gay I can sympathize wih your son. I know only too well how he must have felt, especially the desperation. Luckily I was able to accept what happened to me (taunts, ridicule even from family, etc) and move on with life. Sure family, friends and others are well meaning, but despite all the love you are getting,it just is not enough. This is bigger than all of that. I would sit and think about not having kids, embarrassing my parents, and being subjected to a life of constant scorn and always having to hide, always worrying that someone might find out. How can "I love you" or "It will be all right" ever make our torment right? It never did it for me.
After years of abuse I slowly began to not be ashamed of what I am. I became very aggressive in enjoying my lifestyle and learned not to care what others thought of me. I can say with co

From: Dwight Brown (
Date: Sun Jul 5 08:27:57 1998

I Send My Love to Your Family

I live in the rural South (Alabama) and all I can ever remember hearing people saying about Gay people is "bad, sinful, sick" etc. Every time Gays are mentioned on CNN or another channel, my Mother makes a comment about how "God doesn't intend for them to be that way". You don't know how worthless this makes me feel. I love you.

From: Maungsai S. (
Date: Sun Jul 5 07:11:05 1998

I am so sorry

Dear Mrs. Clayton,

I was browsing the net and I came to your page
dedicated to your late son.
I read the story of Bill and it caused me so much
grief, Mrs. Clayton.
I ended up scrolling down the page and looking
at your son's picture in tears and even now I'm
in tears writing this to you.
I am so sorry this had to happen to you and your
beautiful son, Mrs. Clayton. This page of yours
should not even have to exist.
The question we must ask is why? Why does it
have to be that way? Why do people have to be
like this?
I am a 16 year old gay male who is the only
openly gay student in my school. I come from
Thailand, but I go to an international school
with a US curriculum
Thanks to my supportive friends and family,
I came out very early too.
Bill's life has inspired me and the story of your
adorable son has left me in tears.
I don't understand why humans have to be so
cruel and mean to one another, but as I am
Buddhist, I believe that if you do something bad,

From: Don
Date: Fri Jul 3 19:40:54 1998

The Haters

The post below is another example of the stupidity which took Bill's life and left Gabi, Alec, Noel and all of their friends numb with shock and disbelief.

We must resist these haters at every turn.

Love always,

Don K.

From: Hey
Date: Fri Jul 3 09:48:08 1998

Bill story

Hey you loving mother. You couldnt bring two normal boys to a normal life and you are sole cause he is dead. I bet you watched your husband fuck your son when he was young and you dont even have guts to admit it. You sat there and watched your 'till death do us part' rape your son and you couldnt do anything. Now you are trying to blame the world for your terrible past. You killed him and you should commit suicide too. Get it over with

From: Kardassu (
Date: Thu Jul 2 23:29:03 1998

Bill's incredible life

I am glad that you found the courage to share this terribly traumatic event. It can be a great tool in spreading awareness for hate crimes. It is a true monument to your son.

From: Ken
Date: Thu Jul 2 18:59:25 1998

As long as xtians continue preach hate and lies, this kind of thing will go on and on.Bring back the lions and televise it.

From: dave (
Date: Thu Jul 2 00:50:25 1998

my support too, anytime!!

I live in one of those small mid western towns with a noticeable segment of bigots and hate mongers with room temperature IQ's. I have training in psychology and a law enforcement background but am presently a building contractor. After reading about your son's experience I had to write to let you know there are lots of us in unexpected places who are very willing to provide emotional support and even physical intervention if given the opportunity. With your permission I am going to print a copy of your son's story in hopes of posting it someplace around our local high school. Oh, and by the way, I am also gay :-)

From: Bill Skinner (
Date: Fri Jun 26 16:40:01 1998

Bill teaches us

Hi Gabi, I'm a Clinical Psychologist in a Town called Ceres in South Africa. I find it great that bill could stand up for the truth and your testimony helps people to search the inherent biases that cloud their judgement of others. Bill like many other sensitive and creative people found the truth of belonging in this scary world. He lives on in our lives, where we work play and socialise. Thanks for sharing him with us.

God bless

From: Steve Schalchlin (
Date: Fri Jun 26 16:23:22 1998

Our Anniversary

Gabi, of all the things I've been able to do in the short time I've been on the net, helping you put Bill's Story up is the one I am most proud of, not to take any credit for your work.

<P>But I do remember the day I found your site and first looked into Bill's eyes. They haunted me for days as I returned again and again wondering how any human being could hurt anyone so beautiful. Anyone so young.

<P>It was two years ago we first exchanged emails and I know we will be friends for many more years. I join you in your fight to end child abuse in the form of hate crimes.

<P>OH, yeah. I love you.

<P>Steve Schalchlin

From: Ashley (
Date: Fri Jun 26 15:40:03 1998

Bill's Story

My name is Ashley. I just turned 18. I decided to drop a line to let you know that this page you have put up serves several purposes. It educates about sexual abuse, mental illness, prejudice, suicide as well as sexual orientation. One of my favorite things to do when I get online is to find pages that contain real stories such as this. These stories touch me, as I can relate in some way to most of them. I've become inspired myself to create a webpage in which I express myself through an online journal. The purpose I wish to serve is to educate. I want people to know that there are other people out there with problems, and I want to help people discover themselves through my self-discovery. All I can hope for is that my page affects people and the way they think and perceive. Your page definitely does that. I gave this URL to a friend of mine who was, in a sense, almost bragging about being homophobic. He blamed it on his religion several times over. Af

From: Karen Goldsby (IM2thfairy)
Date: Fri Jun 26 02:10:53 1998

arkansas ruling


I have been at your webpage for hours reading through all your wonderful stuff. I got tons of information from Lambda. Thank you so much for allyour help. When you get a chance, could you please send me that new arkansas ruling you told me about?
Thanks a millon!!!

Wonderful page-you have certainly put a lot of work into it.

From: Elisa (
Date: Thu Jun 25 18:00:32 1998

Bill's story

I am on your side. As hard as writing Bill's story must have been, it was truly lucky to have had you as a family. Best Wishes in fighting this cause. I will do my part to help.


From: Diana (
Date: Thu Jun 25 01:57:58 1998

Bill's Story

My father was a survivor of the Holocaust; he was in Dachau for 1 1/2 years. He was always able to exist on bare minimums. He shared his food ration with a man who needed more and was ill...the man eventually died, but not before he gave my father all his contacts...because of that man, my father survived, got a sponsor, came to America, met my mother and married and subsequently I was born. My father taught me to always judge people on their own merit, that it never mattered where they came from or what their religion was - only who they, themselves were. If I didn't like someone, it wasn't their heritage, but them. It has always been a mystery to me about prejudice...I don't comprehend it in any shape or form, it is just not part of my persona. It is sad. I feel for you and your loss and for all it's envolved reasons. Let us strive to let all peoples live in peace. We all share this universe...we must do it together.

From: Dustan Hill (
Date: Wed Jun 24 15:51:09 1998

I just got done reading ur story about bill. For my self at the age of 17 and living in a small town and being gay and that I'm out i get the very worst of all thing in this town . I have kid's that beat me up and tell me that they are going to kill me if the see me alone. Bill story was very touching and very sad, it touch my heart and mad me cry becuase thing like that happenes every day across this country and so far we can't do anything about it yet. But all of us gays and bisexual need to get toghter and teach the world that there is nothing wrong with being gay or bi. I have started a support group in my town for gay and lezbins it has help alot of teenage kid's deal with that they are gay or bi, and there is alot of other people that come to the support group that is not gay or bi they come to get more educated on the subject of gay and bi in America. Thanks for the story of BIll and i hope that one day that we can stop all the gay-bushing and the hate-crims that go a

From: kimberly brock (
Date: Wed Jun 24 14:44:06 1998

i have just finished reading bill's story, it does not matter whether i am a homosexual or i am straight. each person has a choice on how to live there life and what direction they want it to go in, bill was very strong, yet ignorance was out to slow him down. some how he let it the short time he honorably graced our presence he showed us that there was a light at the end of our tunnel. and not to shut it out, to keep it burning, share it with others and help them carry on. bill taught people not to listen to the indulgences of others views and ideas, but to carry on with the realitiy of our lives, and just because they did not accept us, did not mean we were not accepted by ourselves. carry on bill's words of courage, just because he was here for a short time, he truly lived the life of a real human being.

with all the love of god carry on,

From: sean tori (
Date: Wed Jun 24 03:55:25 1998


hi, my name is sean and im a gay 15 year old. i just finished reading your story and it really touched my heart. and im not one of those little panzie boys either, your story was truly heart breaking. i wish there was something i could do. i myslef have not FULLY come out so i dont face ridicule like that, however, my town sounds like the place where something like that would happen. so it scares me that one day this might happen to me. it truly is sad when people cant see how immature they really are, and thats all they are when they have this hate, is immature and power-crazy. these people DO NOT have a choice and i dont see why people dont believe me when i say that. i tell them from experience that its not a choice, but they continue to believe rumors started by other straight people and not the facts told by a gay person. i dont think ill see the end of this type of crime in my life time, but I do believe, in time, things like this will not occur anymore, and it

From: Karah (
Date: Tue Jun 23 13:32:31 1998


I just finished reading Bill's story, which is surprisingly similar to ny own, I too and Bisexual I however did not have the courage to come out until I came to college, Bill was very blessed to have such a loving and supprotive family. I also attempted to kill myself at age 17, but with the help of some very good friends I survived, iwish we could say the same for Bill. Thank you for putting Bill's story out there, maybe it will save the life of osme other teenager going through the same troubles. I plan to share this story with my campus LGBA so we can start a suicide awareness program both on our campus and in the surronding comminity. Thank you again for sharing Bill's story with the world.
All my Love and support,

From: Brian Devinney (
Date: Tue Jun 23 08:38:35 1998

As I sit in my office and read through the articles on your web page I found chills running up my spine. I am honored to have visited this site. As a gay man who has also been the victim of a hate crime (of which the police have not yet found my attackers), I know what Bill felt like. It's a scary feeling. I didn't leave my house for over a week. I called into work and said that I had a stomach virus and I had a doctor friend forge a sick note for work. I wasn't out at the time and that new world was still a very scary place for me. I am impressed by all youth who at the age of 14, 16, 12, whatever age, can recognize their sexuality and have the courage to admit it openly and unashamed. Bill will be remembered. Every time an anti-gay bill comes forth, please be present to remind everyone of Bill.

In love and in light,


From: RB (
Date: Mon Jun 22 11:22:30 1998

Bill's Story

I am truly sorry to hear about Bill. I agree totally that hatred of all types needs to be stamped out and fast. While browsing on the internet, I came across the most anti-gay and homophobic site I have ever seen: - this site is run by a 'religious' guy who belongs to the Westboro church and he organisies pickets against anything that is concerned about homosexuality. If you want to stamp out the hatred in this world, that site should be one you should tackle with great urgency. They even brainwash kids into going to these pickets. They have photos of some of the pickets they've arranged, and in these photos they have kids that aren't even 10 years old holding up signs saying "repent or perish". . Please e-mail me back if you're interested to. Thank you for your time.

From: Josh V. (
Date: Mon Jun 22 02:05:56 1998

Bill's Story

I would like to thank you for being supportive of the homosexual community and helping to make the world a better place by trying to teach people to get along.Also for making people aware of the hate crimes and discimination that goes on in the the world

From: Victoria (
Date: Mon Jun 22 00:09:50 1998

bills story

This is one of the best thing that someone could do for aother person!!!! You are one of those angels sent with out any notice. You are trying to make our world alot more peaceful with what you are doing!! Thank You so much . Sharring that story with all of us was a great thing you did. Hopefully there are people out there who you and bill have touched with this story!!Love victoria

From: Victoria Cruz (
Date: Mon Jun 22 00:07:28 1998

bills story

This is one of the best thing that someone could do for aother person!!!! You are one of those angels sent with out any notice. You are trying to make our world alot peaceful with what you are doing!! Thank You so much . Sharring that story with all of us was a great thing you did. Hopefully there are people out there who you and bill have touched with this story!!

From: Sophia Rallis (
Date: Fri Jun 19 15:06:08 1998

Robbie's story

Dear Gabi - Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your son's story. I have a gay son who had many struggles coming to terms with his sexuality, but thankfully he made it through the high school and college years and has become a gay rights activist. I, as you, have learned a lot from my dear son and find myself marching, joining PFLAG and some youth oriented support groups with the hope that I can in some small way help a young person struggling with the harsh realities of "being different" Thank you so much.

From: John Somers (
Date: Sun Jun 14 21:46:25 1998

My father who died recently taught me from an early age to fight discrimination of every kind, whenever & wherever I found it. He knew about this after serving in the British Army in WW2, in Greece, North Africa, India, Burma & Palestine. He taught me the absolute truth & meaning of honour, duty, respect & loyalty. This means to me no matter who you are, what you are, what colour or sexual orientation you are you have a right to exist and prosper. I will fight to protect these inalienable rights to the last drop of my blood & last breath in my body. I can only express my deep sorrow & great anger that someone so young can be driven so far by biggots of that kind, but I must salute his friends for standing firmly by his side. If his memorial is to bring people together in condemnation of discrimination, then this tragedy may help prevent others,as no one who visits this site cannot be moved by its contents. I hope you can take strength & comfort from this message that "IT WILL N

From: jenny
Date: Fri Jun 12 05:54:46 1998

Just to say my heartfelt thoughts are with you and your family. Thanks for sharing Bill's life story. The prejudice is everywhere. I'm in Ausralia and it's awful here too. It has to get better, surely the next generation will have awisdom that surpasses the previous. With love, Jenny,

From: Jessica (
Date: Thu Jun 11 17:18:02 1998

Bill's Story

As I read this story, tears of knowing fell from my eyes. I am a 17 yr old high school junior who recently, with the loving support of my spiritual mentor and friends, came to terms with my sexuality and finally admitted to myself that I am bisexual. It was not easy, and it still isn't. I have struggled with my sexuality from the time I was small. As one who has always been an outcast in school (I'm alson Wiccan; the school "nerds" won't even talk to me), this is just one more thing to keep me that way. High school is a very cruel and unforgiving place, even for heterosexual teenagers. I am very much in the closet at school--I see what happens to those who are open about their sexuality and I'm afraid. To compound matters I live in a Fundimentalist, Evangelical Christian household. My mother is a devout conservative Christian who would probably throw me out of the house if she found out I was bisexual--she often makes disparaging comments about gays and lesbians whe

From: Robby (Boyami)
Date: Wed Jun 10 20:59:59 1998

Bills Story

I was so taken back by your story about Bill, that I cried till I was sore. It seems that I also have the same fears that Bill had. At 17 myself, Bills story has given me a new battle to fight. Hate and abuse are two of the most evil things I know. Bill will live on as a part of me that will fight for all humans to love one another no matter what .I thank Bill for making me realize that I need to live and continue his fight.Thank you for sharing Bill with the world.

From: Robby (Boyami)
Date: Wed Jun 10 20:56:56 1998

Teen Fear

I was so taken back by your storey about Bill, that I cried till I was sore. It seems that I also have the same fears that Bill had. At 17 myself, Bills story has given me a new battle to fight. Hate and abuse are two of the most evil things I know. Bill will live on as a part of me that will fight for all humans to love one another no matter what .I thank Bill for making me realize that I need to live and continue his fight.Thank you for sharing Bill with the world.

From: kristie (
Date: Tue Jun 9 21:02:01 1998

Bills story

I have just finished reading Bill's Story and I started to cry. It really touched me in a very special way, I to am a bisexual teen. My family and friends have been very supportive of me and made me feel no different, teens really do need all the support they can get it helps a lot more than people might think. I just wanted to say to you and the family that I will pray for you and keep up the fight!!

From: Kenneth R. Gray (
Date: Tue Jun 9 19:23:44 1998

Bill's Story

I read your story and couldn't help but take a few moments to let myself cry. I teach Theatre Arts and I have lost more than one student to suicide. I found Bill's story while looking for material for one of my current students who is suffering and considering whether to "come out or die," as if those were his only options. So many of my liberal, educated, straight friends tell me that hate crimes do not happen any more, that we are in a more enlightened age. Billy's story proves that they still happen and no amount of progress in the area of enlightenment seems to have made much of a dent in the amount of hatred of which ignorant human beings are capable. And while they happen, my gay students are susceptible, as are my straight students who are "gay-friendly," my more effeminate straight male students, my more masculine straight female students, my straight and gay male students who wear silly costumes in shows, my straight and gay and bi female students who

From: Termirah
Date: Mon Jun 8 13:45:29 1998

I have a few gay friends of my own and they know no matter what happens I will back them up. It's important that gay people have support from nongay people. My heart goes out to you and yours.

From: Debbie (
Date: Sat Jun 6 19:11:21 1998

my heart goes out to you...... I have linked your story to my web page.. I hope you don't mind...

From: Jim Peternel (
Date: Fri Jun 5 11:56:21 1998

Your son's website

Dear Gabi,
I am always very touched when I read about young Gays/Bi's who kill themselves because of the pressure and hate that society places on them. But it is nice to read that at least Bill had a loving family and friends to support him. As you know its not always that way for gay youth. Take care and I wish you well in all of your endevors.

From: Michelle (
Date: Thu Jun 4 22:31:04 1998

Bill's Story

Dear Gabi - I just read your son's story and I was touched by it. I, too, am a mental health therapist in a small community in the middle of Nebraska. I'm convinced this is the homophobia capital of at least the United States. I admire and join with you in the fight against discrimination based on sexual orientation. I wish you the best in your endeavor and admire you bravery with creating this webpage for your son. Keep up the fight!

Michelle Jack

From: Gabi
Date: Thu Jun 4 12:21:24 1998

Another new guestbook

This guestbook was started on 6/4/98.

I have a page with links to all the response pages, other guestbook pages and pages related to "Bill's Story" at:

Thank you for visiting my website, for taking the time to respond, and for all your support.
Love, Gabi

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