Gabi Clayton's Guestbook #20 - From 5/23/99 to 8/28/99
Note: This guestbook reads from the bottom of the page up. -- Gabi

Name: Will
Website: Will's Student Web Site
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Fullerton, California
Time: 1999-08-28 08:45:17
Comments: I don't know where to even start....(very hard...and am very teary eyed now...) all I can say is this hurts...I am a 22 y/o gay male...who has many is that my family will find out...not unlike Bill (god this hurts and is so very unfair...cannot understand...) I just don't know how (or if I can) cope with who I am (very strange saying that...I have the appearance of a "level headed" guy...) and I don't know (most of the time) where to turn next...Although I never went through the heart-breaking pain of being physically abused cause of who I am (cause only a few people know), I have been emotionally and by words...I face on a near day to day basis the word "fag" and other words that really hurt and phrases by my Father and Brother (not to mention my Church) that gays are sinners and will go to hell...this hurts very much...the complete lack of love in the there and others hearts...makes me curel up on my bed nearly nightly and cry...don't know what else to do...mostly scared.."This is not my choice. This is not forced upon me. This just is." I do so wish I would have met Bill...I think he would have made a pillar of strength for us all...god life is so unfair...don't know why the good die and those who hate live on...never will...Thank you Ms. Clayton. Do know that your son, "missed he will be, but not forgotten..." by at least one singular BIG HUGS to YOU and your family...and to BILL

Name: judith
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: just moved to michigan
Time: 1999-08-27 15:39:42
Comments: i am researching an article on hate crimes...your son's story really touched me... i don't know how painful it is to lose a child, i do know that i pray daily for the health and safety of my bisexual son, and for my gay twin brother... big hug and big kiss to you

Name: Ryan Harmon
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Portland, Maine
Time: 1999-08-27 01:32:50
Comments: I personally am a gay teen who is and has gone though pretty much the same thing that bill went threw, I to have thought about suicide, But have not actually atempted it, I came out a few months ago, and now i joined the fight against Hate towards gay/lezbians. In the fall, I may be going to Washinton D.C. to talk to congress about this, threw a peogram called outright in Portland, Maine.... Every little Thing We do to stop the hate, Is getting us one step closer to Eraseing it. Sorry to hear about Bill, it was a life that ended sad, And there was no reason for the hate. (I'll Be sure to put a word in for you and Bill in Congress) Thank you, Ryan Harmon

Name: toni Bueno
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Denver, Colorado
Time: 1999-08-25 21:40:31
Comments: My heart goes out to you. I am also gay and was also raped at an early age I was 8 at the time and rape was bad enough not to mention a gay rape. i spent the next 3 years going home and having to stay in so I could be watched as If I were the attacker. My rapist was free i will pray for your healing and for his soul again thanks for sharing Love Toni aka Antony R. Bueno

Name: Chester
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Honk Kong
Time: 1999-08-25 12:23:40
Comments: I'm so sorry about Bill's story.............i don't know what words i can say now......but i really hope that same kind of event will not be happened such hate crime......nonono..........

Name: Nina
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Vancouver, B.C. Canada
Time: 1999-08-25 05:47:09
Comments: You & your family are wonderful souls, Gabi!! Your site is beautiful!! Love, Nina

Name: Kelly Pickell
Website: The Journals of a Gay Vegan
Referred by: Net Search
From: Granger, IN
Time: 1999-08-25 01:34:40
Comments: I read the story about Bill back in March. I just wanted to let you know that reading your story gave me the needed push to come out of the closet regarding my own sexuality. I started coming out in April, and am now almost all the way out of the closet. My mother has been pretty supportive of me. It's good to know that not everyone is not close-minded and/or homophobic. Thank you for your support of the glbt community. You're son's story has touched many of our lives deeply. I came out because I know that the best way to combat homophobia is to let people close to you know that you're gay, because now they can put a face--my face--to homosexuality, and they will hopefully think twice about their own ingraned homophobia which leads to the suicide of wonderful people like your son and others. Thank you for what you're doing. God speed to you. - Kelly [Journals of a Gay Vegan -]

Name: Fraser
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
Time: 1999-08-23 09:10:15
Comments: Gaby, I am gay and 17, and your story really hits home. I often think of suicide as well. And, I was once jumped on the way home from school by a bunch of guys I went to school with but didn't know. They stole my watch. I'm not sure if this is why, but I often wonder if the reason they jumped me was because they knew I was gay. As I get older I feel more gay, and it becomes more and more frightening, because i hate it so much. Although I think some of my siblings suspect it, and probably other people, i've never told anyone before about my queerness, and I don't want to. I want to live a normal life and have kids and a wife. How can I do that if I'm gay? Especially when people know. I think that's why I keep it inside, so that I still have all the same doors open to me as everyone else, but it still kills me to feel so alone with my problem. The biggest reason why I would never commit suicide, although I would love to at any time, is because I can forsee how much it would hurt my family and friends. I wonder: would it hurt them more if they didn't know why, if they knew why, or if it appeared to be accidental? I guess it doesn't really matter, since either way, it would still hurt, and I'm not going to do it. But anyways: The reason why i'm telling you this is as encouragement to keep writing all this stuff. because for other suicidal teens who don't see a reason to live, by reading your letter they will see that they will hurt their families and maybe they'll rethink their fatal plans.

Name: Kim G.
Referred by: Tripod
From: Norfolk, VA
Time: 1999-08-23 02:56:57
Comments: I have just read Bill's story for the first time, how awful that he had so much pain at such a young age. I commend you and your entire family, and all of your friends. That you were so supportive of your son from the very beginning, and that you have stayed strong and active in the cause to help others. I am sorry for your loss, may it not be in vain. I am a 35 year old lesbian who's parents have not spoken to me in many years because of their own homophobia, it's ok, i came to terms with all of this many years ago. It is just nice to know that many of the younger people who are coming out of the closet have the support of wonderful, loving, caring people such as yourselves. Stay strong.

Name: Donna Hunter
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Mobile, Al
Time: 1999-08-20 02:33:53
Comments: I am so sorry about the death of your precious son. It saddens me to hear about losing one of the most important building blocks. Your story reiterates something very important to me and that is not to judge anyone. My best friend is openly gay and it really does not matter to me because I love him, regardless. When you meet him, being gay is not the first thing that you notice. I notice his heart as we all should do.

Name: S.C.Drake friends call me Drake
Referred by: From a Friend
Time: 1999-08-18 23:10:14
Comments: I've been reading your site for the past 2 days. The lives you talk about are amazing. Both yours and your sons. I don't normally write in guestbooks as most webpages don't speak overly strongly to me. I linked to yours from a friends and I can't remember how (glad I bookmarked it!) I don't consider myself the overly emotional type, yet your recounting of your son's life and your strength and hardships have brought me to tears too many times to count. My heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope your story get's out to all of our kids who feel they can't go on and inspires them to tough it out. You've made me happy that I never succeeded in any of my attempts at suicide when I was young and going through what your son did. Thank you for an incredibly moving 2 days. Blessed Be Drake

Name: Mark W. Olszewski
Referred by: Tripod
From: Great Falls,Montana
Time: 1999-08-18 12:35:40
Comments: I heartily support your efforts to end the homophobic ideology that causes such tragedies as yours to continue to happen Year after Year.

Name: Lisa
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Time: 1999-08-18 09:32:43
Comments: Sorry this is a trial version account my husband set up and I don't know my e-mail address. It's very late and my husband is asleep. I was searching for a agency or someone to question about what to do about an incident regarding bigotry,name calling on a large sign posted on a rear window (stick-on custom window decal)of a vehicle driving several cars in front of my husband and I last night. It was in regards to Gays. It offended and angered me and I was just trying to see if it was illegal some how, and how or who to report it to. I typed in many searches and Billy's Story came up. Sad it happened, honored to have learned of Billy, and your family. Many horrible things happen in this world with conflicting or understandable reasoning or causes, however what happened to Billy, your family and to many others, doesn't fit into either of those categories. It is senseless hatred and wrongful, unessary judgement. Wishing you support, and caring in all your future struggles and endeavors. Sincerely, respectfully, and caringly, Lisa

Name: jester
Referred by: Signing another Guestbook
From: tn
Time: 1999-08-18 08:33:25
Comments: may you allways know peace,from his goodness.

Name: jessie
Referred by: Yahoo!
Time: 1999-08-16 17:50:36
Comments: look up

Referred by: Yahoo!
Time: 1999-08-16 04:38:24
Comments: My heart goes out to you and your family. I enjoyed reading about your son. You can be very proud of him and also be reassured that your love and support for him did not go unnoticed. I'm sure he felt a deep love and admiration for you for all the encouragement and support that you gave him.

Name: Bev Lanphear
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Rapid City,SD
Time: 1999-08-16 04:30:10
Comments: Your memorial page to your son TRULY TOUCHED MY HEART!! My thoughts and prayers go out to all who loved Bill.May you find some peace in your hearts and may Bill find peace that he deserves.

Name: Valeria
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Santiago, Chile
Time: 1999-08-15 21:06:53
Comments: I was very moved and saddened by your son's story. I don't really know what to say. I'm 18, and even though I'm straight, I support gay/bisexual people's rights... because we all are human beings... I wish i could do something... maybe i can... if you want, I could translate Bill's story into Spanish. (email me). Vale.

Name: Diana
Website: My Rainbow Haven
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: MI
Time: 1999-08-15 15:38:54
Comments: I love your page. Your links are very inspiring. Keep up the awesome work. I'll be back.

Name: john diebel
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Portland
Time: 1999-08-14 11:08:27
Comments: Thanks for this great story about Your son Bill's life. Maybe there will be a little peace in your life knowing that people will hopefully make changes in the laws and the education system to help our struggle for protection and equal rights because of your son. My life experience was similar: I was attacked and suffered a scull fracture in a gay bashing on me. My best friend lost an eye. The people attacking us are fueled by messages that never end that gays are less than equal senitor Hatch's retoric is the perfect example.

Name: Jamie Page
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Melbourne..Australia
Time: 1999-08-13 03:39:45
Comments: Gabi, This is inspirational to all who read it. I know how it feels to loose a loved one because of the discrimination of Gay, Bisexual people and your courage and determination shines thru as a beacon to all. Thank you ..and all my best wishes, Jamie.

Name: Tom Jackson
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: New Haven, CT
Time: 1999-08-12 20:49:11
Comments: Thank you for sharing in such moving and loving terms your story. Although I work as a writer, I cannot find the words that will convey my feelings at the loss of your son. His story will remain in my mind as we work to create new progrmas for young GLBT people at the New Haven Gay & Lesbin Community Center. It fores all of us to increase our efforts against intolerance and homopobia. Thank you again for sharing

Name: Julius Maglalang
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: San Francisco, California
Time: 1999-08-12 10:49:13
Comments: Hello! My name is Julius and I am from San Francisco, California. I just wanted to first of all say that I am really sorry for the tragic lost of your son. I believe and know that many great memories are behind people's minds. I myself, am a bisexual male also. Just like Bill, your son. I am 18 years old, and I openly came out to my friends when I was 17 years old. I have planned on telling my parents, but I am not quite ready. All my life, I have lived with a mother. I do not have a real father, but a step father. But I am so close to my mother than anyone else. I just think that when my mother finds out that I am bisexual, she will be very shocked and terrified. She might not even believe me. This is why I am depressed everyday about myself. I am depressed because I am hiding something from my mom for so long. But when the time is right, I will tell my mommy. I love my mom alot and she has the right to know. I also want to let you know that I was also involed in a hate crime. During my elementary years, I had no friends whatsoever because all the students thought that I was gay. In my head of course, I was in denial. But as I look back, I tell myself, why does it matter. I started to make friends in junior high school. Still I was called a "faggot". It just wouldn't stop. Now I am in high school. Things changed alot. I made more friends. More than what the popular group has. And I am a very well known guy because of my kindess and generosity. I believe that hate is wrong. But there is this onoe day that I will never forget. I was in my sophomore year. I was in my most hated class, which is P.E. (physical education). There were these bullies that were behind me. They were playing around while they did their excersizes. But their was this one guy who pants me in front of hundreds of people. The teachers didn't see what had happened. I was in awe. I didn't know what to do but bend down and pull my pants back up. I pulled it back up as if it was a normal thing for me to do outside with hundreds of people. I looked at all their faces. They were all laughing at me. I was badly scarred psychologically again. I was picked on because of who I choose to be. A bisexual male. I told one of the teahcer what had happened later on when we did our mile run. She was furious at the boys. She said that what they had done was sexual harassment. I cried on her shuolders for a long time. And I took couseling afterwards. Later, the guy who pants me got in trouble. On that same day, he saw me and followed me to the band room. He called upon my name, I looked at him with no reply. He asked me why I had to tell on him for. I said "why did you do that to me?" He didn't say anything but left angrily calling me a "faggot" again.

Name: Frieda Saraga
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Florida
Time: 1999-08-12 05:24:27
Comments: Only when many are aware of what happens to others will they realize this could be their son or daughter--our world will be healed when people as yourselves tells their story--if you reach one person at a time you have made a difference in this world and for your son's memory. As a parent of three gay children I love dearly my hope is for a world filled with people who love not hate.

Name: Kari Selleck
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Canada
Time: 1999-08-12 04:21:51
Comments: I am truly sorry about the loss of your son. You and your husband should be comended. If your story saves one confused teen, your job has been done.Through Bill's death, others may live. Take care.

Name: David Rosenbloom
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Minneapolis, MN
Time: 1999-08-11 19:48:29
Comments: I am a "friend" and a board member of PFLAG- Minneapolis/St. Paul. I am so sorry to read about your son - we can just never stop until these types of tragedies no longer happen - ever

Name: danny_r_young
Referred by: AngelFire
From: florida
Time: 1999-08-11 06:30:30
Comments: very sorry about your son

Name: david
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Vancouver, Canada
Time: 1999-08-11 03:40:53
Comments: Hi Gabi, just wanted to say that in your son's death, and how painful that it was, the silver linning can only be that the words about hate crimes gets out and that it has to STOP. I am a closeted gay and after reading this story, it has somewhat made me think that remainig this wayis the best. The problem is that then I am not being who I am and that in turn presents another problem. Well, I hope that more people such as yourselves continue doing what it is so that no more kids have to die! Please keep it up David

Name: Robin
Website: Its NOT us versus them
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Texas
Time: 1999-08-10 17:24:25
Comments: I saw your testimony on the local Fox station's teen files. Although I knew your story from this site and PFLAG stuff, I got misty eyed anyways.It is unfortunate there are people who cannot accept diversity, but it is reasuring to know there are some teens that can be reached. Thanks again for the great job, I think you made an impact on some of those kids (and people in the viewing audiences at home)

Name: Jonathan Packer
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Columbus, Ohio
Time: 1999-08-09 18:36:51
Comments: Gabi, The story you wrote about Bill's life brought back so many memories of my teenage years. I pray often wishing there was a way to eliminate hate in our world. Our civilization doesn't seem very civilized at times. You, your family and Bill will always have a special place in my heart. Thank you for sharing your lives. Jonathan

Name: Lewe
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Pretoria, South Africa
Time: 1999-08-08 07:52:48
Comments: Really a heartbreaking story and so unneccessary. His school experience makes me think of mine but thank God I was never molested. But unfortunately I still have a grudge against straights in sofar that I constantly sleep with straight men to get back at them. The sobering up of these men the next morning is my revenge. This in itself is sick but I can't help myself.

Referred by: AOL
Time: 1999-08-06 05:39:13

Name: Robb Kvasnak
Website: Academia Linguistica, Inc.
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Oakland Park- FL - USA
Time: 1999-08-06 04:34:11
Comments: Your story has touched me deeply. I am also the victim of discrimination because I am gay. I am an American citizen who has a lover from another country. We cannot go to his country to live, because they do not want Americans on account of our government's policy toward them. Because he is here applying for residency, I have to work for 2. He cannot drive a car here, hold a job here or get any governmental support here. We are both without health insurance. I word 7 days a week to support us. If we could find another country to go to, we would. I would like to live a normal life with him [we have been together 5 years] but the USA makes my life miserable. I am not glad to be an American, any more. Robb Kvasnak 572 NE 34th Street Oakland Park FL 33334 PS Immigration authorities regard homosexuality as a "mental disorder". Does this mean that one of our government's agencies thinks that we are all crazy? They also practice "don't ask, don't tell". Therefore, we cannot register, even though our county has domestic relationship registration. Schizophrenic? I think,yes.

Name: Danny
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Ohio
Time: 1999-08-05 00:40:48
Comments: I am writing to, two, of the best parents out there today! I just want to say how close your son's story is to mine. I am a gay teen in a mostly christian town(I have nothing against christian because I am one but boy are they narrow minded!), and I was rased to hate gays and told that they would all go to hell. I didn't really think much about this till I start becoming attrached to men and not women. I have never told a soul about this until two months ago I found out a close friend of my was bi, so I told him I was gay and he couldn't believe it because I have always acted the way I was rased to act. So seeing his reaction pushed me deeper into the closet. My parents found out that I was looking at gay related web pages on the internet and said that I need to go to a christian youth group so that I would start to like women.(Like I can change who I am) but I made up this whole story that I wasn't gay and they bought it. I have tried to kill myself 2 times and my parents think its over something totaly different then from them being filled with hate. So right now I don't know what I am going to do, I am just tring to get through this till I am 18 when I can move out. I love my parents but I doubt I will ever tell them who I really am and just thinking that makes me depressed. I just wish that God would have bless me with parents as good and loving as you are. Wishing the best in both our lives, God Bless Danny P.S. I will let you know how things turn out, hopefully for the best.

Referred by: Just Surfed On In
Time: 1999-08-04 22:20:12

Name: Ivan Kasimoff
Website: pragmatic gulibility
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Los Angeles area
Time: 1999-08-03 02:08:14
Comments: I am primarily a college ESL instructor. Presently I am working at Cal State LA in a Summer Bridge program (6 week orientation like) for at-risk entering Froshmen. I am a writing adjunct instructor for their Race, Gender, and Class Soc Sci class. One of the students at my prompting is looking into teen suicide of homosexuals. I thought I'd use her topic as a way to introduce web searches. Though you do not have a "peer reviewed" site or journal references, your site is very helpful in informing people on the problems of violence against lesbigay, etc. people. I often bring up this and related issues in my adult classes of mostly foreign students. I find that consciousness raising among people from "traditional" cultures, in my case, many Armenians from Persia and ex-USSR, as well as Latinos and Asians, is very well received. Your page makes tolerance if not activism an obvious course of action for readers. Thank you. Peace be with you, Ivan

Name: Vanessa
Referred by: Geocities
From: Sicily Island
Time: 1999-08-02 21:57:44
Comments: i'm lesbian and i live in a little town when the racism agaist omosexuality is very strong. i think that your idea to create a home page to rh memory of Bill is very important. With Hope Vanessa

Name: Tara Allmon
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Jacksonville,Florida
Time: 1999-08-02 05:08:39
Comments: Dear Gabi & Alec, I got to your web page through looking at the web sites teen issues. I've always been real tinder-hearted and very emotional. Reading this story has made me cry. I can't understand how any human being could be so cruel and hateful. I've always been very acceptive to new kids at school and even what other people would call outcast. Well, my brother was one of them growing up so I loved my brother so I felt everyone should be loved for what kind of person they are not who they hang with. I have friends of all races,shapes and sizes, and I love them all equally. If Bill were still here, I would be proud to know someone that could of had that much courage and strength to stand up for what they were. I do not know any gay,bisexual,etc. If I did I would have been the best friend and keep s much hatred from getting to them as I could. I'm writing this also because I have some kind of a feel similar to Bill's because I'm starting to be very seriously judge by more importantly by people you think would be there the most,your family. See I'm 16 years old and I have just found out that I'm pregnant. I'm sure right now your saying that has nothing to do with your sons story but, really your sons story is all about judgement and mines about the same situation. I'm basically being disowned or push to feel that way by most of my family. Also their trying to force me to kill my living baby inside of me or else. I'm going through a tough beginning with this and it really drags you down knowing people could be so heartless but, you can survive. You know Bill didn't make it through it but he was and still is loved. Is job on earth was done but everything he went through was worth the thousand and one he has touch. You can believe I will be standing with you to help stop all hatreds against anyone person that I see being done unjustice. You will be in my thoughts and my heart always. And to help the story to be heard I will be telling all my friends about this tragedy that has happened to this great person. May God bless you and help you to make it through everyday alittle bit better. sincerely, Tara Allmon 16 years old

Name: Bern
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Poughkeepsie, NY
Time: 1999-08-01 04:55:40
Comments: A very sad and eye opening story. Thank you for sharing it. I hope the right people "get it".

Name: Lori
Referred by: Net Search
From: Maine
Time: 1999-07-31 04:52:54
Comments: Mr and Mrs Clayton, I sincerely extend my deepest sympathy on the tragic death of your young son, Bill. What strength and self respect you both taught this wonderful young man. You must be very proud to have been his parents. I wish other parents of gay children could read Bill's story so they would know how important it is to trust and support them. We all do things from time to time that our parents may not agree with. The way you dealt with the news of your son's bisexuality tells me what wonderful, caring parents you are and how lucky Bill was to be a part of such a loving family. Keep fighting to stop these hate crimes. I'm a lesbian, although lucky enough never to have encountered any evidence of a hate crimes here in rural Maine. I shall remain an advocate of gay rights. Thank you for such a beautiful site.

Name: Lashae
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Florida
Time: 1999-07-30 22:15:18
Comments: I'm sorry to hear about your son suicide and I'm glad that you aired that show about hate crimes because I get the same attention.

Name: Govinda
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Sri Lanka
Time: 1999-07-30 19:48:41
Comments: Hi Gabi, My name's Govinda; I'm from Sri Lanka, 25 y/o Gay. I just wanted to tell you that I've been through some thing similiar to what Bill might have been going through, when I was 18 y/o, but, I survived, I know there are many like me, and regretfully, many like Bill, who didn't survive. There's nothing anyone can say or do to reverse history, but because of your efforts to tell Bill's story to the World, many lives of others like Bill, would be saved. So let me just finish off by saying thank you... you truely must be the BEST Mom (Parents) a Gay could ever pray or wish for. My prayers go out for you and your family, & may God bless Bill of Gods best creations, back in Heaven. Yours, Govinda.

Name: Christine
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: New Jersey, USA
Time: 1999-07-30 05:25:51
Comments: If only I could stop crying long enough to write a decent message! Gabi, dear, you are a very strong person and I envy you for that. I have read your son's story many times now, and each time I'm touched by it. You have a woderful website, and I only hope that it will help others to see the wrong in hate.

Name: joyce
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: washington dc
Time: 1999-07-30 03:47:14
Comments: i was suring around the web when i found this page. i saw the special on TV today called "The Truth About Hate" and it had Bill's story in it. it left me in my room sitting there, not knowing what to do or think. Most of us are naive to believe that such horrible things like that happen in the world. Well i'll end now, just to keep it short. :)

Name: Chris Williams
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: atlanta, ga
Time: 1999-07-27 19:35:03
Comments: although i understand the tradgedy - i understand the pain - i understand the loss - the hate crimes are wrong, regardless of who you are, what you are, what you do, or what you think. i cant agree with homosexuality, the subject is far too complex to discuss in a mere post - i have mixed feelings about this site, suicide is wrong, influenced because of those who felt homosexuality was wrong. so who's right? i cant honestly say god completely agrees with anyone here.

Name: Kari Parker
Website: In Memory of Gary Matson and Winfield Mowder
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Redding Ca. But I live in Hawaii at the momment
Time: 1999-07-26 21:14:29

Name: Lloyd
Referred by: Geocities
From: United Kingdom
Time: 1999-07-26 17:09:37
Comments: An incredibly moving page - it is devastating to hear stories of such mindless hate. My support will always be there and my thoughts with Bill.

Name: Jerry Prochazka
Referred by: NewsGroups
From: Hampton, VA
Time: 1999-07-26 13:57:20
Comments: Your courage and dedication are truly inspiring. Thank you.

Name: Moira de Swardt
Website: None
Referred by: NewsGroups
From: Johannesburg, South Africa
Time: 1999-07-25 10:02:10
Comments: Thank you for sharing this story. It reaches out and touches the heart in a special way. It is so important that we must counteract this hate wherever we can.

Name: Scott Wagner
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Mill Creek, WA
Time: 1999-07-25 05:52:00
Comments: The support you showed your son was amazing. I'm 23 and not out to my parents. If my parents were even half as supportive as you have been I would be thrilled. My deepest sympathies in the loss of your son, and I hope you keep fighting the battle against hate. Love, Scotty

Name: Zachare' Rogue Daugharty
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Montana (birth) Living in Seattle, WA.
Time: 1999-07-25 05:17:04
Comments: It is in times like this that I may ways, how lucky I was to have such a strong family with me when I came out (I was 13). But I do also understand...this world has continued to confuse and dissappoint me too. I do not mean this to sound morbid or to hurt you in any way...but perhaps his suicide could be taken as a wonderful "Eye-Opening" message...that we do not have to live like this...that too much of the hurt need not be and need not be tolerated... With the silence we have poisoned our own Eden. I am very sorry for your loss and hope your reunion after this life is as wonderful as it is deserved. Rogue Seattle, WA.

Name: L. Michael Roberts
Referred by: NewsGroups
From: Ontario, Canada
Time: 1999-07-24 19:54:13
Comments: I read Bill's story and was heartbroken. As a gay man I have had to survive a lot of intolerance and have been bashed twice in my life. I have survived this and now in my late 40's, I am out and speaking against intolerance and hate. I thank you for your understanding, support and love of your son who was just being himself. He is a myrter in a cause that still has a long way to go before we are all free of the oprressions promoted by religeous intolerance, bigotary and xenophobia.

Name: Veronica
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: CA
Time: 1999-07-24 02:26:24
Comments: Thank you very much. You havent any idea how reading Bills story has changed me; and for the better. Over the years I have seen senseless hate crimes against sexuality repeatedly. I just have been slowly coming to terms w/my own sexuality, which is clear to be bi-sexual...when I come forward to get acceptance, all I really get is "can I join in w/you & a 'chick'", It makes me sick. Again, thank you for making me feel comfertable once again to be me... Veronica, age 15

Name: tyler taylor
Referred by: From a Friend
From: tulsa,oklahoma
Time: 1999-07-23 18:44:28
Comments: i am so touched by this, i am crying from all the hate in this world i know i deal with it everyday. You see i am a police officer who is not "open" and dont know if i ever will be because of the hate. I can not say i am sorry i know what you going thru i don't but i am closer to coming out and letting people know including my family but i do know this your story has helped me so much and i thank you..

Referred by: Just Surfed On In
Time: 1999-07-23 06:33:04
Comments: well it is very hard for me to tell people that i am a Very GAY HOMOSEXUAL MAN !! well nothing personal but i even felt very suicidel at times !! i even tried attepting suicide with other peoples medications !! i was so scared to tell people the real reason why i was attempting suicide !! beacuse of all the false alligations about use homosexual men !! the news // the internet // real life // the list goes on and on !! my dad even did some very abusive & neglectful stuff to me called ME His very own son that that very awful // awfull // word !! my dad even tried in real life to do something very // very // bad to my male private parts !! I WOULD LOVE TO PUT the title of my home page !! i know this might sound strange but a have so many websites home pages that i Wont know where to start !! please E-MAIL ME IF YOU WOULD like to look at some of my websites !!

Name: Gary Simpson
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
Time: 1999-07-23 04:23:47
Comments: Dear Gabi: Bill's life continues to touch my life. He has helped make me sensitive to the feelings of gay and bisexual people. When I slip and say something that could hurt a gay or bisexual person, I am reminded of Bill. Thank you for sharing your pain and your loss. Your efforts are helping make my heart softer.

Name: Kerry Nisbet
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
Time: 1999-07-23 02:58:27
Comments: It still amazes me the amount of bigotry and hate that is in this world in these so-called enlightened times. I shed tears as I read the account of your son's tragic passing. Where I come from (New Zealand) mainstream religon has less of an impact on daily life than in your country so I feel there is less bigotry when it comes to gays although it still rears its ugly head as one of my gay friends who was attacked by three people just last week can account for. We must all strive to educate these bigots that there narrow view on life is not the only view and that there is nothing to fear from people who are "different".

Name: Megan
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: VA
Time: 1999-07-22 19:31:31
Comments: I am terribly sorry for the loss you had to endure. The story of your son has given me the confidence I need to reach out to my gay friend. I have been worried about him for a while and after reading your story I feel I can talk to him about his problems. No one should have to endure what your son did. For that, I am truly sorry.

Name: Robert Pelletier
Referred by: Clicked on our Banner Advertisement
From: Vancouver, Wa. USA
Time: 1999-07-22 02:54:08
Comments: This is very touching, and very well written. I will forward it to my friends, and encourage them to forward it to their friends. God Bless You, Thank You for fighting against Hate Crimes and discrimination.A friend from Washington state, Robert L. Pelletier

Name: randy peek
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: kentucky
Time: 1999-07-22 00:54:32
Comments: I wish I was half as brave as Bill.Thank you so much for sharing your story with me, it will give me courage to do things in my life!THANK YOU

Name: Glenn
Website: Ground Zero
Referred by: Net Search
From: delaware
Time: 1999-07-21 17:28:19
Comments: I still have trouble reading your site dedicated to your great son without having tears in my eyes. You are truly a mother to be cherished, and if everyone loved their gay sons and daughters as you do, this would be a much safer world for us all.

Name: Lisa Shaffer
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Salt Lake City, Utah
Time: 1999-07-20 17:54:41
Comments: Your son's story is beyond tragic and unfortuately all too common. It touched me. It moved me to write to express my sincere condolences to you and your family. I am an "out" lesbian living in SLC, UT (not the most tolerant of places), and I understand your son's fear and struggle to exist in a world that hates. I support PFLAG and will support any person or organization that dares to speak the truth about the horrible things that can happen when we stay silent. I am certain that Bill was and still is very proud of the effort you are making in his behalf. The love that you gave to him in his life is the same love and compassion your lives exemplify for all others after his death. Thank you for your example. Thank you for your sacrifice of time and knowlegde to those who might hear your story. --Lisa

Name: Geoffrey K. Winder
Website: Davis High School's GSA - The Triangles Club
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Davis California
Time: 1999-07-19 23:55:23
Comments: Dear Mrs. Clayton, I am the President of my schools GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) I am also a youth actavist and Youth Liason officer for the local PFLAG chapter. I just wanted to say that the unconditional love and support that you have given your son, in his life and after is inspirational to all of us young people, to know that there is a world out there that does not hate us. I want to thank you for the work you have done to make life eaiser for gay teens and want you to know that what you are doing has not gone unnoticed. It is people like you who give us hope. Much thanks. Geoffrey K. Winder President, DHS GSA - Triangles Club ~geoffrey "You've gotta make your own kind of music, sing your own special song... You've gotta make your own kind of music, even if no body else sings along..." -Mama Cass

Name: Robert
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: england
Time: 1999-07-19 04:58:11
Comments: I am sick and tired of reading storys like this young peapole who have killed themseleves or have been brutaly murderd as a resoult of the gross homophobicness in our socioty. Must we contunue to read and here of these tragic tales like reading through an obitory coloum at the eathquake mesuring 9.9 we can help these peapole, but help dose not reach them all nor dose it prevent a change in laws will prevent and reach all. May i remind you that it is EVERYONES duty to combat this and lower the death toll and not to sit by and just say "sad story" or "isnt it tragic" action speak louder than words Act now although it is to late to save many, but many more may be saved by our actions and persistance to combat this problem. stand up for our and others rights our right toequlity: at school in love at work as partners as perents Is equality a luxuary or a right? we do not want to have more rights than anyone else but we will not under any curcumstances except less if action is not taken then expect to contunue to see storeys like this Is that wat we want? I for one do not. TOTAL EQULITY - NO COMPROMISE

Name: C O'Brien
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Brisbane, Queensland, Australia
Time: 1999-07-18 13:34:08
Comments: I am a young gay male, and this deeply sadened me...... I wish I had a mum like you, but maybe I do, but I am too scared to find out...... I too often feel depressed, and find the general hate towards people like myself difficult to deal with....... oh well, I'm sure this story has affected the other 50000 people who have read it the same way it affected me....... the loss of such a person, who incidently would be the same age as me..... is a great loss.... sorry....... CO......

Name: Kare Grayson
Website: With Strength
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Chicago
Time: 1999-07-17 13:13:57
Comments: I am saddened by what your son had to endure and disgusted by the fact that people can be so blindly judgemental. It is and always should be the heart of a person that makes him who he is. From what I have read your son had a wonderful heart ~ My deepest sympathies for your loss. My highest praise as well for you as parents and as a family. Many would not cope so well, nor show such strength.

Name: Dan
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Seattle
Time: 1999-07-16 07:07:58
Comments: I have no idea what to say. Frankly, I don't know what could be said. Words are sometimes so clumsy they should simply be dispensed with. With respect, I'd like to lay claim to this loss as being all of ours. Yes, Bill was and is your son. And I think you can understand how I see him as my own brother, after a fashion. I may not be able to grieve like you, but I can grieve with you. For what it's worth, I do. Please accept my earnest thanks for working so hard to transform this tragedy into a vehicle for understanding, for the world at large. Very best regards to you and to your family, Gabi. Best to you.

Name: Stephen DeGrace
Website: Stephen DeGrace's Home Page
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Charlotetown, Prince Edward Island, Canada
Time: 1999-07-16 05:30:49
Comments: As a gay man, I found your son's story very sad and moving. He was such a good boy and showed so much promise, and I am terribly sorry for your loss and for the terrible loss we constantly endure of those poor kids who don't make it. Thank you so much for sharing your son's story and for making a difference on the web.

Name: Stephanie
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: NW Ohio
Time: 1999-07-14 19:15:58
Comments: Your page has left me with feelings of hope. If you wouldn't mind I would like to copy this page and send it to my mom. She is an anti-gay supporter. I am disowned to my family because of my sexual orientation and I think this would be the perfect story to send to her. If you have no objections to me recopying your page please e mail me back. Thanks for the tear jerking story. It is fill with so much hope. -Stephanie N-

Name: Dixon
Website: Webpages of Dixon Martin and Paul Iarrobino
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Portland, Oregon
Time: 1999-07-14 18:11:22

Dear, Wonderful, Gabi!

I think I signed your guestbook a long time ago, before I knew you, and before we bacame “connected.”

I thought you were wonderful then, and becoming your friend has only made that more clear.

I love you,


Name: Martin Bartrop
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Australia
Time: 1999-07-13 23:28:31
Comments: Thank you for sharing your story. Such honesty and openness is a gift to the world of the highest order. I am humbled by these qualities which you have expressed so generously. I pray that no other person must endure the pain and suffering which your son experienced and pray that your courage to fight against hatred is rewarded by my first prayer being ansered.

Name: Adam Baker
Website: Shaneyboy's World
Referred by: From a Friend
From: England
Time: 1999-07-13 01:55:14
Comments: Most of the time I have no problem in with signing guest books what I want to write just comes naturally, but after reading Bill's story I for once find myself lost for words. What happened is something that no one should have to go through and I'm glad to see that you decided to share the story because it is something everybody should be aware of. Thank you for giving me the oppertunity to read it

Name: Carlos M. Flores
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Montreal Canada
Time: 1999-07-12 17:24:13
Comments: Bill`s story touched my heart.

Name: Sam
Website: Butterflyz Palace
Referred by: Net Search
From: Florida
Time: 1999-07-12 11:20:12
Comments: name is Samantha.. I am fourteen (15 november whoohoo) years old. I am bisexual. I have recently (like a month or two ago) told my family that I am bisexual. Heh. Sum of them couldnt accept it and have disowned me and well sum dont care much. I have started sort of a "clan" or "group" or "club"..for bi/gay/lesbian teenagers.. so far I have about 80 sum odd members. And well your sons death and many others have gave me the courage to do this. And I want to do anything I can to prevent gays and les's from suicide. Anyhoos..i'm sorry about your son. But I see this in two ways..what happend to your son is helping others..and preventing other gay/bi/teens so its kind of a blessing and a tragic thing at the same time. :O) keep smiling. *smyl*.
p.s. email me if ya wanta..I am building a website for my club and would love to post this on it.

Name: Sara Miller
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: SF, CA
Time: 1999-07-12 05:02:47
Comments: Hi Gabi! I haven't been here in a long time. I wanted you to know that I have been thinking about Bill a lot lately and I miss him. I am so glad to see so many people visiting this site. Your site is a very important and special place on the net. I hope you are all doing well. Say hi to Catherine for me. -SM

Name: Fran
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Nashville, Tn
Time: 1999-07-09 13:40:26
Comments: Gabi, your article on your sons life must be very enlightening and beneficial to all who read it. It certainly has been to me and my family. It is so difficult for so many to understand and therefore accept sexual differences in others. But who are they to say this is abnormal. Only God can describe what should be norm not us. Thank you for sharing with a world filled with a very hypocritical, biased people. We all have so very much growing to do.

Name: Larry Johns
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Sioux City IOWA
Time: 1999-07-09 07:53:34
Comments: I was raised in a town of 600 in Nebraska Being gay at that time (sixties) in that little town was NOT an option. I return time to time and see a couple of graves of local boys, both of them gay, who never knew acceptance either from the community or their families....who died of AIDS probably due to lack of education re how to prevent it as much as anything.....laying in their graves alone ...denied even the truth of their deaths the story given out being that they died of "cancer" my heart breaks to think about this....they deserved so much more.....With Love and my deepest appreciation for your sharing....

Name: Amy
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Maine
Time: 1999-07-09 00:08:19
Comments: Keep a young high school teacher who deals with struggling youths trying to find their place in the world...I feel for you and your family. I see how strong you arein your words and I wanted you to know that my thoughts are with you....

Name: Jeffery
Website: Send Love To Thy Oppressor
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Nashville TN
Time: 1999-07-08 15:52:04
Comments: Tought I would sign the guestbook seeing as there is only three entries ... I visit ever so often to see what has been added. Keep up the great work Gabi as you are very appreciated by a lot of people.

Name: Paul
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Toronto, Canada
Time: 1999-07-07 20:10:55
Comments: I can never think of the appropriate thing to ever say or write when I read or hear stories like this. All I can say is "wow" Bill seemed like an amazing guy and you, an amazing mother.

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